Brooke's world is turned upside down when she is faced with her worse nightmares
|The rain poured like a flood gate had been opened from the heavens. Lightening illuminated the night sky with extreme intensity; followed by deafening, ground-shaking thunder. The violent winds raged, rattling the windows of the house. The storm was unusually powerful, building as it roared fiercely throughout the night. It seemed the storm was unrelenting.
Brooke jolted awake. She was shaking, heart-racing. Sweat poured over her like a water faucet had been turned on above her head. She had the same reoccurring nightmare; night after night for the several weeks. Although she knew what would happen when she closed her eyes, she was still just as terrified when she would wake. Brooke’s nightmares were always vivid. They always seemed as if they were real. That is what terrified Brooke the most. When she awoke from the nightmare, she found herself starring around the room, waiting for the nightmare to become reality. She would then calm herself, cry, then pray.
Brooke had been keeping a journal of her nightmares. She wrote every detail as best as she could remember. She would try to recall her surroundings, things she would smell or hear, things that were said. Brooke believed if she continued to write, maybe she could eventually understand why she was having the nightmare and more importantly what it was supposed to mean.
Brooke leaned over and turned on her lamp. She retrieved her journal and pen from the drawer of her nightstand. She hoped that this would be the night she would write in her journal and everything would make sense. Brooke took a deep breath and begin to write.
The nightmares are still returning night after night. Even as I write these words I become frightened. I am in an area unfamiliar to me. There are many trees and thick brush. It seems like I know where I am going because I start walking without wondering if I am going in the right direction. I began walking through the trees. The overgrowth is almost impossible to get through. There is snow falling and seems to be accumulating rapidly. The sting of the cold air is blowing in my face. It feels like thousands of needles are hitting me at once. My body is freezing and begins shaking violently. I am tired and weak. I see someone or something familiar in the distance. I try to stumble my way through, but unable to continue. Then I wake up.
Brooke found herself writing many of the same things she had written in the past. She sat there for a moment flipping through the pages she had been writing for months. Frustrated, she put the journal back into its original place. Brooke felt annoyed, frightened, confused and exhausted.
Brooke lay in her bed listening to the chaos the storm was causing outside her window. Every time the lightening would light up her room, she would watch the shadows of the trees dance across her bedroom walls, as though they were dancing in sync with the rhythm of the rain.
Brooke glance over at her alarm clock. The large red digital numbers said it was four twenty-three in the morning. She looked up at the ceiling sighing. She caught herself debating on whether to get up and jump in the shower or roll over to go back to sleep. Brooke listened to the rain beating down on her window. It was hypnotizing. Slowly she began to drift off to sleep.
Brooke woke up around six thirty AM, feeling as though she had not slept at all. She sat up in bed; trying to stretch her stiff muscles but her body felt battered and bruised. She could have sworn the nightmare was physically beating her up and mentally draining her. She took her time getting out of the bed. Brooke knew it was going to be a long, drawn out day; it was Monday.
Brooke looked at herself in the mirror and was appalled by the image starring back at her. Her long dark curly hair was ratted into knots. Her eyes had dark circles around them because of her lack of sleep. Her body was normally a dark sun-tan tone, but for some reason she looked very pale with her cheeks flushed red. Her eyes, which were normally a light blue, looked to be as dark as sapphires.
Brooke started a steamy hot shower in hopes that it would relax her. She stepped in and let the steam surround her. Brooke felt like the warmth of the water was caressing her. She could feel the tightness of her muscles began to slowly loosen. She washed her hair, washed her body and then just stood there. She let the heat wash away all of her worries, her confusion, her questions, her fear. For a moment she had forgotten about the nightmares that tormented her dreams each and every night. She was able to reign in all the fear. For a moment, just a moment, she was at peace.
After showering, Brooke felt a little better. She got dressed and tried to prepare for her day. She pulled out the blow dryer and her makeup bag. She started with her hair then down to her makeup. She had two weeks left before she would be eighteen and in less than two months she would be off to college. She was excited that she had been accepted to Oklahoma University. She had worked hard, dedicating much of her time studying instead of going out with her friends or doing what most seventeen year old girls do.
Brooke had never been the type to hang out at a mall or spend the night gossiping with a group of friends at a so called “slumber party”. Brooke didn’t drink, didn’t experience drugs, and would not even go out on a date, although asked repeatedly. Her grades were her number one priority, getting into medical school was her goal. She refused to let anyone or anything stand in between her and her dreams, her dreams of leaving her small town and nightmares behind.
Brooke went downstairs and found her parents doing what they had done every morning. Her mother was at the stove cooking everyone breakfast. Her father was at the table with a newspaper in one hand and a cup of coffee in the other. Her brother, Daylan, was already at the table with his orange juice waiting impatiently for his breakfast. His forehead creased down, huffing every time he took a breath, banging his fork and spoon on the wooden dining table as hard as he could. Brooke felt like every time the fork or spoon made contact with the table, her head would receive electric shock.
Brooke stood for a moment watching her family. She knew she was going to miss the little things like this when she left for college. Brooke would miss the talks her mother would always have with her when it came to becoming a young woman or her dad’s shoulder to cry on when things seemed as though it was hopeless to try.
Brooke accredited her success in school to her parents. Brooke grew to be a vibrant, energetic young lady. She was smart, outgoing, and compassionate. She was raised a loving home. Her parents instilled family values and respect. Stephen and Louisa were proud of the young lady she had become. Their love was unconditional.
“Good Morning everyone” Brooke said as she entered the kitchen. She took her normal place next to her brother. Her mom finished breakfast and joined everyone at the table. Her father folded the newspaper and set it next to his plate. Brooke could tell something was not right.
“Brooke there is some things we need to talk to you about. Things that we should have told you a long time ago” her father said with worry in his voice. Brooke knew it was one of those talks you should make up excuses to leave the room. But it was her father and he more than deserved his place around the table; repeating how much they all meant to him.
Brooke looked at her father, then at her mother. She was shocked to see tears rolling down her mother’s cheeks. Brooke wasn’t sure she wanted to know what was going on. For a moment she thought of getting up and walking out of the kitchen, but she knew that wasn’t going to make whatever this was disappear. So she took a deep breath and prepared for the worse.
“I want you to know that we love you. You are our daughter and what I am about to tell you is not going to change that. Do you understand?” Her father said. Brooke kept eye contact with her father. She did not speak, just nodded her head yes.
“We were blessed when you came into our lives. The doctors had told us for years that we would be unable to have a child of our own. That is when we made the decision to adopt. We contacted an adoption agency.” Her mother had cut her father off there.
“We fell in love with you the moment we laid eyes on you. You were so small. You were only 2 months old.” Her mother said between sobs. Brooke’s father laid his hand on top on hers. “This does not change anything.” Brooke knew in her heart they were sincere about every word they had spoken. But she felt the fires of anger wash over her.
Brooke jerked her hand back. Her emotions were coming at her in different directions; anger, hate, confusion, betrayal. She wasn’t sure what to think, how she should feel, or what to say. Brooke stood up and turned to walk away. She needed time to absorb what she had just been told. Brooke went straight to her room, locking the door behind her. She lay on her bed to sort through her thoughts and then the tears came. She couldn’t stop them. She didn’t want to stop them.
Thoughts were swarming through Brooke’s mind. She began to question who she really was. Apart of her was infuriated because her parents had lied to her about her life; but the other part of her was thankful she was chosen by such loving people. Her feelings and thoughts were so confusing, so conflicting. She wasn’t sure about what was real and what was not.
Brooke stayed in her room for most of the day. She wouldn’t answer her door, she wouldn’t answer her texts. She just wanted to be alone. Her parents made numerous attempts to get her to come out of her room, but she refused. Her mother, Louisa, even went as far as calling Brooke’s best friend Christine. Christine made several attempts to call and text, but Brooke refused to talk to anyone.
Christine and Brooke had become close friends their sophomore year. Christine was pretty, in her own special way. She had long blonde hair, hazel eyes, wore glasses and at times was a little clumsy. Brooke and Christine had a lot in common. They both had strong ambitions about their futures. They liked the same music and books.
After a few hours, Christine became worried. She drove to Brooke’s house, hoping she could get Brooke to at least talk to her. Christine arrived at Brooke’s house at about three in the afternoon. Brooke had been in her room since about nine in the morning. Christine went straight to Brooke’s room, shaking the door knob. Brooke didn’t say a word.
“Brooke, it’s me, let me in”. Christine said as she continued to shaking the knob on the door. “Brooke you can talk to me. We will figure whatever this is out. You know I am here for you no matter what”.
Christine waited patiently, sitting on top of the steps. After about ten minutes, Christine heard Brooke unlock her door. Christine jumped up and rushed to the door. She wanted to open it before Brooke changed her mind. Christine grabbed the door handle and slowly pushed open the door.
Brooke was crumpled on the floor. Christine closed the door back and locked it. At first Christine didn’t hear Brooke sobbing. But when she knelt down, laying her hand on her back, Brooke sat straight up. Brooke wrapped her arms around Christine’s neck and began to cry uncontrollably. Christine didn’t ask any questions. She just held on to Brooke, letting her cry for as long as she needed too.
Christine spent all afternoon with Brooke. Brooke explained to her what had taken place this morning. Brooke spewed out her thoughts towards her adoptive parents for lying and her biological parents for abandoning her. She wanted answers.
“You have wonderful parents”. Christine said, defending Stephen and Louisa. “They have loved you, taken care of you, and supported you. They will be the ones that are always there for you”. Brooke felt bad for some of the remarks that she had made. Maybe there was a good reason why her biological parents walked away from her. Maybe it was a blessing that the Davis family took her in.
“You are right. I am lucky to have them. I just do not understand why they waited so long to tell me the truth. It makes me wonder what else they are not telling me. I have to find out if they know anything about my biological parents”. Brooke said as she wiped her tears. Her eyes were red and swollen. Her head felt like it was going to explode.
She knew she had to apologize for treating them the way she did. She hugged Christine, thanking her for everything she had done, for being there in the moment she felt alone. Brooke was so thankful to have such a wonderful, caring friend.
“I have to go now. It’s getting late. Are you going to be okay?” Christine said as she stood up. She had been sitting in the same position for hours holding Brooke as she cried. Her legs felt as though they were going to give out.
“Yeah, Yeah, I’m fine. Thank you so much for being here when I needed you. I’ll call you tomorrow.” replied Brooke. She walked Christine to her bedroom door and gave her another hug. “Be careful on your way home.” Brooke tried to smile, but Christine could tell she was forcing it.
“Anytime Brooke, if you need me just call.” Christine said as she walked out of Brooke’s room.