A canine alien abduction
|I know this sounds crazy, but I have reason to suspect that aliens may have abducted my dog Loretta and replaced her with a duplicate. She’s similar in appearance but I have noticed certain discrepancies over the past few weeks. Something is amiss.
It all started shortly after that retirement party for Brandon. It went on a bit longer than planned and I ended up getting home at some ungodly hour of the morning. I staggered into my downtown apartment, slumped down on the lazy-boy recliner and turned on the television.
I remember being woken sometime later by a series of strange noises. My sleep-glued eyes struggled to focus on the television screen but all I could see was static, sort of like that Poltergeist movie.
My attention was suddenly drawn to what I can only best describe as a number of small creatures busying about the living room. They had tied Loretta to the couch and were dancing around her. She seemed blissful unaware of their presence.
Concerned for Loretta’s safety I tried to get up but found that I had become paralyzed. My attempts to verbally warn her were also in vain. They continued chanting and dancing for sometime then joined hands and formed a circle around the couch. A blinding light filled the living room then slowly dimmed until it vanished. Loretta and the creatures were gone!
Released from my paralyses, though still hindered by intoxication, I staggered around the apartment in a bewildered panic vainly searching for my beloved Golden Retriever then just as I was preparing myself for the reality of never seeing her again, the blinding light refilled the apartment.
The light dimmed as it had before and Loretta was back lying unrestrained on the couch. She stirred and stared at me in a most peculiar manner, cringing fearfully as I approached and extended my hand to pat her. From that moment on I have had reason to believe it is not the same dog.
Often in the evenings I catch her by the window contemplating the Milky Way and she seems intent on sitting close to the television screen whenever a science fiction program or space documentary is screening.
Last Tuesday I dropped her off at the Veterinarians for them to check her over for any alien chip implants. They gave me a curious look and agreed to my request.
When I picked her up the following morning they told me that they had failed to find any such devices. Nor had they noticed any obvious changes in her personality but I am not convinced. Me-thinks a governmental “men in black” agency is forcing them to hush it up from Joe Public.
I suppose I should not be too critical of the vets for not noticing the subtle changes. They don’t see her every day like I do, but believe me the changes are many.
1) She has forsaken her love of bacon for Mars Bars (chocolate does not seem to have the same harmful effect that it has on most dogs I have owned in the past).
2) She has swapped her favorite blanket for a pile of satin sheets.
3) She stirs whenever I close the venetian blinds and last week she spent hours on end studying the framed diagram of the solar system I have hanging in the living room.
With no definite way of knowing just how long the aliens are planning to keep Loretta I can only try my best to make the duplicate feel welcome in my apartment. She has become a fascinating distraction from my mundane existence and I have found our evening strolls somewhat unpredictable.
Loretta has lost her zest for chasing cats but has developed intolerance toward people in uniform. Kelly, a local courier, has already lodged a formal complaint about being terrorized whenever she delivers parcels to me and I am worried that someone will end up getting bitten. That would be disastrous for everyone concerned, who knows what sort of galactic germs she carries.
Some days pass without incident and I find myself forgetting that the affectionate creature in my apartment is only a replica. It has a healthy appetite, with a gluttonous stomach without a memory. She always obliges when it comes to the disposal of unwanted leftovers.
Several months ago I took Loretta for a drive to Castlepoint to see Ruby, an old acquaintance whom has had her fair share of alien encounters. I told her about the abduction and Loretta’s changes and also asked if she knew of any way that I could possibly communicate with the aliens.
I promised to safeguard her secret communication devices but suffice to say she eventually made contact with the aliens. They told me via Ruby that Loretta was in no danger and will be returned in due time. When asked why they had taken her they became hostile and stated: "We are not answerable to puny Earthlings Q.E.D."
So there you have it. I’m back to square one wondering when or if I will ever be reunited with my beloved Loretta. The optimistic part of my mind believes Ruby did contact the aliens while the pessimistic side tends to think she was merely humouring my paranoia.
After much deliberation and negotiations via Ruby’s secret channelling, the aliens finally relented and agreed to allow Loretta to make a brief visit. Apparently there was a lull in their testing schedules and they did not require her for about week or so.
In accordance to their instructions I sat in the middle of Karori Park in the wee hours of the morning. 3am came and went, as did 3:05am. Then just as I was about to give up and go home, a most unorthodox spacecraft materialised above me; not at all in keeping with the stereotypical image of a UFO.
This is to say it wasn’t saucer shaped or even round for that matter; it was a completely different shape from anything that had been imagined before. There were no clichéd flashing lights or smoke screens; just a dull humming coming from its engines. It just hovered for a short time then descended for a graceful landing.
A tiny door slid open and two corpulent furry ETs hesitantly emerged; sniffing the air with twitching noses. They stopped in their tracks, studied me briefly then turned to each other and said something unintelligible.
I was not sure of their intent so I tried to keep my distance but my legs grew strangely weak and once again I became paralysed. The more I looked at the ETs the weaker I became. A dizzy sensation overwhelmed me and my ears began ringing. I dropped to the ground and the ETs scurried on-top of me. I passed out.
When I finally came to, one of the aliens, which I recognized from the original abduction, was looking down on me making a frightful hissing noise. I could faintly hear the sound of excitable barking from within the ship.
“What’s going on?” I asked.
The alien bared its fangs aggressively then headed back to the craft. Seconds later a fretful whimpering sounded from within. Fearing for Loretta’s safety I rushed towards the craft but the door closed and ship promptly vanished into thin air.
“What about the visit!” I protested repeatedly but as yet I have still not got any reply, apology or explanation.
It was only when I got home that I noticed that my wallet was missing. I've been looking for it ever since. The suspicious part of my mind suspects that the aliens stole from me.
Ruby has tried many times since to contact them, without any success.
I despair that I may never see Loretta or my wallet again.
(Continues with updates)