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Printed from https://www.Writing.Com/view/2042054
by yacolt
Rated: E · Prose · Romance/Love · #2042054
The finished first part of a satire story/poem about the Fair Maiden and Unicorn tale
Who knows how this will read to other people with the unusual syntax and this being sort of a poem right now you can tell the story peters off towards the end
But I'm not sure if this story really works or even makes you want to read

I'm looking for real criticisms and suggestions

The Horse and the Unicorn

Chapter One

An adventurous young Maiden from the Far North.
Was Cris-crossing the oceans and exploring the coast.
Visiting in all the different villages, cities, and towns
And listening to the residents and the stories she found
And chief among the narratives she was always told
Was said the Magic tale of Fair Maiden's Unicorn

She understood completely that the story would vary
When translated from one language or dialect to some other
Making the Magic different in the different kingdoms
But in every single one of the resident's tales
That was spoke in any known language
Fair Maidens always found Magic.

It may have been long
could have been a very long time
Or it might only seem like that
With the lovely Fair Maiden moving about the kingdoms
Meeting and mingling as animal generally do.
Mixing together as the cows, goats; the way all animals tend to
The North Fair Maiden meeting and greeting together
Her and the other enchanted Fair Maidens

And sometimes
There were sometimes
Far off in some distant far flung land
Sometimes when the Maiden would go out riding
The Far North Maiden with the local Maidens
Riding along side the native animals they found
Finding Magic in the hope and believing,
Flush with the faith all Maidens have
The Magic of riding with your chosen
Smoothing out all your differences
The Magic blending you together
You and yours having your moment with each other
That's when the Unicorn Magic happens

The Unicorn's Magic
That comes from the Horn
The magic that changes your goat or bull,
Pretty much any land animal you have chosen
Into a Fair Maiden's Unicorn

And nowhere in her Maiden's thoughts
Was there any uncertainty that her Unicorn existed
Although he might be far away...
Perhaps even in some other land...
She just held tightly
To the Magic of the Horn

But she did have one small question
As to the kind of animal
That the Unicorn Magic
Changed into her Unicorn
Because in all the different tribes,
In the neighborhoods, and villages
With the other local enchanted Maidens
She had ridden alongside
Some very, very unusual native animals
But Unicorn Magic had never changed
Anything into her Unicorn

And for goodness sake,
She had even ridden an ostrich!

Chapter Two

If or not by chance,
Or perhaps some other way
Maybe it's not even known
But as she was getting ready
For her travels down the coast,
Her chance was
That she came across a Horse.
And the Horse's presence
Totally took her by surprise!

She couldn't help it,
Her north eyes just stared
....Until she was able to shyly turn her head

She never been told so she couldn't know
The likelihood of a Horse
Such an animal with this kind of look
With his long mane, his hair and chest
Even the shape of his legs
He had the very mark of an Unicorn
All the way down to his hoofs!

and it didn't worry her at all
when with her eyes she saw
What seemed to be relative minor differences
Between the Horse and the Unicorn
Things the Unicorn's Magic probably took care of
Because it was obvious
The Horse was not the same as the Unicorn
Plainly the Horse had no horn

The horse's heart was stolen quickly
by North Maiden's coy stare
Her fair smile, her bright voice
With the tune of a far away land

In the horse's imagination
There never was such an enchanted Maiden
The horse stepping forward without hesitation
And persuading the Fair Maiden's hand
Asking her to come and walk with him
Along neighborhood paths

And to see the landmarks
even ones he saw as a colt
holding his hand in the meadows
walking on the kingdom streets
in this peculiar land he grew up in
and to walk with him along a river
and perhaps go with him to a waterfall

and there was something swirling that was caught in their moment
their gaze creating a distinct moment in their slice of time
The overflowing air pounding flush with potential between them
Flush with all the hope and chance of a moment

Chapter Three

And day after day and even other days they spent together,
The time one after the other they spent the evenings side by side
Walking along the many neighborhood trails and landmarks
holding they sat on the lilac bench next to the scent of honeysuckles
Holding hands, bodies touching, with her fingers twirled in his mane
Smiling together they watched the merchants, the cobblers, tailors, and jugglers
Laughing and dancing among the landmarks of his picture kingdom
they were always dancing together and sometimes with their neighbors

And often for lunch
They went up the mountains
To eat the high-land plants
they would walk in the mountains
on the switchbacks she so loved

finding patches of healthy high-land plants
on the ridges crowding here and there
the their interesting textures and of delicacy
and they would eat together enriching their lives

the memories of his the loving thoughts of his beloved
and from time to times they would walk along his trail
spending the day with the daisies in the butter cup field

and maybe some night in the shelter of his drafty trees.

in the valley plain was born and raised
in his horse neighborhood
and he knew the feeling of his life the days and years
felt the impulse of youth without knowing any future
he leaned on and bent some sapling trees
starting someday shelter

and the local would bring him foods
that had cooked and baked for him
they would gather on the trail commenting
about the of view of field and butter cup meadow
and the view enjoy the view
and what was going on

life had also given him a something to do the trail
through the field with the plump stemmed daises
building a trail to the waterfall
so the neighborhood wouldn't have to climb down
the riven and over all the boulders
and though it was mentioned
the trail was beautiful and interesting
if he would get the fished trail all the way to the waterfall
and in over the coarse of his live and building the path
he had walked with and been mistaken by maidens
for all sorts of lands animals like a bull or a goat,
my lord, once he had been mistaken for a flying Pegasus!

but even aware that his identity had been mistaken before
he didn't dwell on this fact but only thought of his Fair Maiden
dancing in the soft earth of the meadow,
dancing with his neighbors the tradesmen,the juggles and actors
how the horse loved dancing with his fair maiden

Chapter Four

on the ridge tops trails with her unicorn and
the things they would do hiking to the rocky tops
just walking and hiking with the others
who also liked to hike in the the high land ridges

she thought of him all the time of when how they had gone up
to the plateau lakes and found the mountain current
the they enjoyed the red fruit of the rare berry
they wondered on the plains of the plateau
tasting the flavorful thin stemmed leafy wood

with is honeycombed leaves and
there was nothing in her memory as nice
as when she was in the patches of the red mountain berry
in all her many oceans and travels down their coasts

it even appeared to her at times
when they coming down some rocky slope
the hooves of the one she had chosen seem to leave the ground
sometimes she recalled stories where the Unicorn fly did
it was told all Unicorns had a horn but some stories they even flew
sometimes with the one you have chosen you will even fly together
how cool would that be flying from ridge cap to ridge cap

briefly she wondered if it would be the same magic
that would give him a horn
would sprout wings on his side, but if you thought about it
the magic was in horn could give him wings
but without the horn there would be no magic
where would the magic of the Unicorns Horn come from
to start growing the unicorn horn.

She kind of keep the thought there , but didn't think about it much
she had only walked with him
and unicorn magic happened with your choice
in the moment you feel it

dancing in the in the patches of health vegetation
and dancing with him on the patch of grass alone the lodge stones
what could be better the a dance with your Unicorn
along the path of the lodge stones

Chapter Five

and to the horse's great surprise one day
the maiden ask if she could ride him
the horse had often dreamed of the weight of the maiden on his back
he beckoned to the north fair lady and lifted her up
it had been sometime since his back had felt the weight
it was a joy to feel his maiden on his back and she wasn't heavy

Together on her ledge-stone the horse and his fairest
would bathe in the view of mountain back trails
lining the ridges and colors of the frequent patches of edible plants


she liked the highlands up in the mountains
where she had a comfortable opening in the ledge-rocks
and sometimes the maiden and the horse would stayed there
their bodies touching as they slept her fingers tangled in his mane.

Dance on the patch of grass in front of her ledge stones
she would show him I the dance of her lands
but it was hard for him to keep up
but she went easy on him
and they had so much fun
even though they both knew his dancing was pitiful

though the horse might have thought more of
them staying down at his drafty trees
but the soft ground muddied her feet
and all the digging and packing of dirt along the waterfall trail
made the dusted streaks on her cheeks .
She needed the dryer air of the highlands
and the drafts in the bent trees made her cold

his most loving thoughts were of his beloved
when she was showing him high-land plants
and they would eat them together enriching
his life more than anything he ever thought could ever do.

But st times sometimes in the spicy stems of plants
he saw a faint memory of the days he lay on his side
by the trail he was building to the waterfall,
winding in a meadow of butter-cups and the
stem of the daisy in his mouth.
what is better then the sweet memory of the butter-cup.

Chapter Six

And at times the high-land trail’s sharp rocks hurt his feet
but he know what she had told him.
The nourishing stems of healthy plants would strengthened his hind legs
and broken rocks will toughen up his hooves.

the maiden didn't seem to realize or sense the butter cup
her concern was her unicorn didn’t have a horn.
the horn is where the magic was and the horse had no horn
could it be her horse could never be her unicorn

she wasn't totally sure whether the horn would grow
through her horse’s mane or just suddenly appear
and she had no idea if the unicorn's magic bolted from the sky
or weather it seeped up slowly from the underground,

but the maiden for certain knew that unicorn magic happened
and transformed the one you rode into your unicorn

and sometimes as they rode she would search in his mane
looking in his hair for a budding horn but not finding one

her impatience wore some and when they were in the valley
and passed by the creek she hurried him a drink
and said the trail to his bent trees
was too far on the other side of the water

she didn’t understand the waterfall trail anyway.
you could get to the waterfall by going down the ravine
and climbing over the boulders if you wanted to see the falls.

and when a south-wind blew as the south wind sometimes does
she lead him up to the top of the ridge trail.

And there she broke it him that he wasn’t her unicorn

she pointed to the a fork in the trail made of unicorn rocks
that lead to the land of the unicorns

or a moment was their faces next to each other,
he horse and his maiden locked in each others stare

their eyes fastened held together by a moment in time
and in the air between their eyes flowing with their chance

the horse couldn’t understand why to the fair maiden
a horse that loved her was not as valuable
as unknown unicorn

and the maiden was completely dumb founded
why her horse didn't comprehend the unicorn's story
she couldn't believe at all that he didn't understand the tale

the moment of their hesitation, their heart breaking
his felt his maiden’s longing for her desire for unicorn's story,
But he never could be a unicorn
He was only a horse he had no horn
but for a moment been mistaken
by a fair maiden as her unicorn

in the distant past by chance or not
and just in case of a maiden's chance
in his youth the horse had bent over some sapling trees,
down by the butter-cup meadow on the far side of the river,
and in the years
the branches had twisted a nice roof and side,
and although somewhat drafty
it was his shelter was still warm.
and by his shelter
And in the nearby meadow
he was building a path to a waterfall.

he missed the her weight on his back
as he dug with his hoofs and packed trail earth.
His heart leapt at any chance to think of her smile and her laughter,
replaying in his ears the telling of her sayings from her lands

and always in his thoughts she was riding
somewhere in the magic land on her magic unicorn.
time forced acceptance on the horse and
he knew that only in his memory
would the fair lady from the north
with the south-wind in her thick flowing hair

And from time to time the horse would know
the south wind blowing
and he would take the high-land trail;
to toughen up his hoofs and to satisfy his longing
for the plant stems of the high-land s
He would follow the memory’s path his and his fairest took
that day hiking to the fork of unicorn trail
Where the south wind had blown tears in his mane
as she ran out of reach down of the broken rocks
of unicorns where his hoofs couldn’t cross.
And he would look out over the fading lines of switchback
and down to the rock trail she had ran to where her unicorn surly was

The past tides of their presence swept over the horse
as he remembered his fair maiden how together t
hey spent the night not far from here in the opening of the ledge-rocks,
where he had dreamed of forever.
He was certain of the delightful path they would have trodden.
What a story of the maiden from the Fair North and her horse riding together.
But it would never be.
As the maiden had pointed out,
he was a horse and not a unicorn,
he did not have unicorn magic to grow a horn

In the broken rocks of the unicorn trail held his disappointment
but his hopes did not weaken he was unshaken in his hopes
that somewhere in the maiden’s search she was finding happiness.
he held inside he harbored a little skepticism about the Unicorn Trail.
In the few of those that had managed to return from the Trail
they all had the story of a land overflowing with wolfs and ostriches
how in his heart he wished he knew the magic of the unicorn!

he hung his head against the tree
the south wind blowing his mane of tears
when he felt the against the bark
growing horn in his hair
the magic of the of the unicorn seeping from the ground
the unicorn stones light beneath his feet

He didn't know if the unicorn magic
had brought him a second chances

or another chance at the first
but he didn't and stood between the twine oaks
and told her to stay she couldn't go
she look at the unicorn rocks glowing
and where distant unicorns
with their maiden and the unicorns danced all night
looking at the bit stirred horse in the unicorn light
he was just a horse with no horn
but he was her hours and he loved her
she broke her hesitate and came to him
and flying her arms around her horse
telling him he was her hours and that she love home
too her hands running through his hard
like she used to do
and then she felt the small lump of his new horn

something was clear that something he already knew

she wasn't heavy
the weight of her on his back was sweeter then the butter-cup

writing scraps

as she prepared for a distant land


wither he let her g particular
o because of the looking her eyes
or if he let her go by mistaking the look in her eyes

he loved to dig out the vegetation with his feet
and pack the cool soil with his hooves slowly making a bit of trail
it was dusty work with the digging, the dirt, and packing it down,
but he tried to do a good job and the locals liked the trail
and always complimented him
sometimes the horse liked to lay on his side in the middle of the grass
of the meadow and view at a distance the waterfall trail a
nd eat the soft stemmed daisy’s and
enjoy the sweet butter-cup that abounded in grassland

and sometimes there was the question,
that the speed he was going,
when would he get the tail finished all the way to the waterfall

only to fly your unicorn from the ridge cap to another
she made up her mine to ask the horse for a ride

In all the stories the unicorn horn

the same story with some difference from one kingdom or another

She saw so many reasons it was wrong and no purpose
to build a winding trail through the meadow
just to have a nicer walk to a waterfall.
common in all the stories was the unicorn horn

she knew the story of the magical unicorn as she learned to talk,

He knew anyone could go down the ravine bank and across the rocks
if you wanted to see the waterfall
but the horse thought the other residences
would like a path along the soft earth of the meadow
© Copyright 2015 yacolt (yacolt at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
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