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Rated: ASR · Monologue · Contest Entry · #2049070
A conversation between a man and his mirror.
Word Count: 339

“Don’t do it.”

“Why not?”

“Blow your nose instead.”

“It never all comes out.”

“It’s not socially acceptable.”

“No one will see me.”

“I see you.”

“I do it in the car all the time.”

“I hope you have tinted windows.”

“No, I don’t.”

“People will see you.”

“I’m invisible.”

“No one is invisible.”

“I am.”

“How so?”

“I sit in a cubicle all day. I send funny emails and no one replies back. I eat in a crowded break room alone at my table. When I take a smoke break only Rocky keeps me company.”

“Who is Rocky?”

“The squirrel.”

“Why does a squirrel keep you company?”

“I feed it peanuts.”

“You’re allergic.”

“I’m not the one eating the peanuts. The squirrel is.”

“Do you have a death wish?”


You smoke and give a squirrel peanuts despite your allergy.”

“It makes me happy.”

“Smoking makes you happy?”

“It satisfies my inner being.”

“Really? Smoking might be the thing alienating you from your peers. How many people join you for a smoke break?”

“No one.”

“Do you see my point? You don’t fit in.”

“Maybe I don’t want to fit in.”

“Ah! That’s the heart of the matter. It’s human nature to fit in and get along with other people.”

“It is what it is.”

“Have you taken a good look at yourself? A little attention to your appearance would go a long way. What you need is self-esteem.”

“You try dealing with these people. They’re backstabbers and bullies. I hold my own.”

“Do you, now?”

“I turn in my work on time. I get good evaluations. I live within my means.”

“But are you truly living? The way you want to?”

“Who needs self-esteem when I can light up a cigarette and pick my nose whenever I want. The little things give me happiness.”

“Put your finger down.”


“One day you’ll find the motivation you need—“

“Today is not that day.”

“Don’t do it.”

“I’ll do it all I want. I’m invisible.”
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