by TJ Marie
Good things happen in dreamland at first, then it gets dark.
|Word Count: 1179
I am content cuddled up in my warm bed in my slumber. After my time in Summerland, I open my eyes in disappointment because my physical life is not fun and painful. My mother does not understand me while my father is hardly around at all. The kids at school are always teasing me and everything feels so hard. I prefer to sleep my life away in Summerland.
My favorite time of day is when I have brushed my teeth and put on my pyjamas while cuddling myself into a cocoon which feels warm and safe, no can hurt me here. I close my eyes in anticipation of what is to come. The doorway to Summerland is a huge book with a doorway created to walk through where the adventures and fun begin. I find myself in the most beautiful meadow with forest green grass and purple butterflies flying to welcome me. My favorite is the red and white mushrooms which are big enough to sit under like a tree which has the most amazing scent which reminds me of the forest, makes me feel like sitting there all day under one.
In the distance I see the red hair of my friend Sicara which makes my heart sing because she is my best friend. Running towards her something mysteriously tugs at my midnight black hair and pulls me back saying, “Not so fast sweetheart.”
Looking around for the mysterious voice I am confused about what is happening because this has been such an amazing place to visit. Now I can feel myself fading if such a thing can happen. The colors are not getting duller and the place where I was has faded into nothing and has turned into a place of ickiness. I mutter to myself, “How can this be happening?”
The voice returns, “My darling, I was wondering how long it would be before you can to visit me and here you are.”
“What is this place and who are you? What happened to Summerland and Sicara?”
“Such a curious child. The dark rules here in my realm and you are here because of the condition of your soul. The damage of darkness is increasing while the light is fading room you. You cannot stay in Summerland if your light is fading. So feel free to make yourself at home, you can stay as long as you like. Just a word of advice, you can try to go back to Summerland, although you will not succeed in getting there.”
There is so much pain I am experiencing in my life and to have the one thing that made me happy, Summerland. I start feeling out of control with rage at the voice and all of humanity in this moment, grabbing what feels like a tree branch and beating the ground over and over again. When it breaks I continue with my fist until the tears of my frustration brink to the surface falling down my face. Screaming into oblivion, “This is not fair. To have everything good taken from me is not fair.”
Determined to do something about my unfortunate circumstances, I get up off the ground and picture Summerland in my mind, squeezing my eyes shut, hoping that I can make it back somehow. In the distance I see someone coming towards me, it is Sicara and wave my arm in anticipation of meeting her again.
When she reaches me, she holds out her hand in love in a way only she can, “Rhyanna, you have not listened to the lessons taught to you at your stay in Summerland. You have let your life in the physical realm get more unloving while being here you feel like it is a big escape. You have yourself in a big mess which affects where you go when you come here in your dream state. You do not want to feel the things that have happened to you so all those emotions can leave you, such as hate, fear, loneliness, and blaming others for your misfortunes.”
“Yes, I do not want to feel those things at all. Why can I just come back to Summerland with you? Please, take me away from this horrible place.”
“You are still not understanding what I say. Maybe you will see things more clearly if I take you there so you can see why you cannot be there anymore.”
“Yes, please take me there. I do not believe that it will be uncomfortable for me since I was there many times before.”
I am delighted that Sicara is taking me back to Summerland. As the world around me changes I can feel the most uncomfortable pain throughout my entire body, the worst I have ever felt in my life. I felt it start at my heart as it started to grow slowly at first with a fire so hot in my veins, I feel like I am going to burst any moment. Sicara says, “Rhyanna, I am taking you away from here and will explain there what is happening. If you stay here there will be more damage done to you.” I nod in agreement in letting Sicara take me away from Summerland.
“This is what happens when you let all your emotions run wild that are not loving. I have already explained this to you many times and still you do not want to listen. You have used your free will to be where you are and you will stay there until you decide to change. I can come visit you, you will not be able to visit me.”
“Because I am at a higher level of love than you are.”
“I am not going to feel the things you have told me. It is too much for me to do that. Please do not leave me Sicara.”
“I have to go now Rhyanna. Please do not forget my words because you can do things I speak of at anytime. If you need help call on me and I will come.”
“Nooooooooooooooooooooo. You cannot leave me here.”
I am alone, all alone in blackness. The blackness is so dark when I raise my hand in front of my face all I see is black. I cannot tell where I am if I am outside, inside. In fear I crawl on the floor, which I feel may be a dirt floor except I am not absolutely sure. I feel my way through trying to find anything to feel or hold on to, there is nothing. I am in the black abyss of nothingness. Collapsing in a heap where I am seething in my anger and hate about where I am because I know when I wake up I will be in a similar place which frustrates me even more. This is what it feels like to suffer.