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by Plague
Rated: E · Short Story · Comedy · #2059723
A cat seeks advice for his lovesick human
Dear HumanWhisperer,
         I'm writing for your help. Harold is a beautiful adult male, all white with brown patches of fur. I rescued him about two years ago in a park. Ever since he has been indoor/outdoor, but lately he disappears for long periods of time and returns home looking starved.
         Last week I gave him a mouse and several green beetles to boost his caloric intake, but he only batted them off the doorstep. My neighbor suggested injuring some birds and bringing them into the house, you know, to give him a little confidence by allowing him to think he caught them himself. Tried it. Sure, he chased them around, but he didn't eat a bite. He also pointed at me a lot and made guttural noises, which I take to mean he caught onto my part.
         This week was worse. He brought a feral human into our home. A very stinky one with aggressive hair and red lips. It would be a challenge to domesticate such a creature, especially as it spent ten minutes trying to claw me with its talons. I'm an animal lover, but even I couldn't even sum up the courage to scent mark it. I kicked it out, but its taken to roaming around our territory and showing up at odd times.
         What do I do?
-Mr. Buttons

223 Words
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