by Mona N
Brief advice on how to connect to your idols
|Everyone encounters that one person in their lives: The Superhero.
This person is beyond each and every expectation. They are so outgoing and fun, intelligent, interesting- everything. They have literally no flaws, or so it seems. How could anyone ever impress someone like that? They have no league; they're in a class of their own. They're almost a different specie categorized by perfection - or are they?
First, in order to understand the superhero tackled in this article, one must identify them:
1. Characteristics of a Superhero
The super hero is independent. Whether emotionally, or just regarding general tasks, self-reliance is a big aspect of this person's life. More often than not they will do everything on their own regardless of whether or not it would be infinitely easier with someone else's help. However, when it comes to someone else's problem, they are the first to jump in, eager to help. This brings us to the second characteristic. The super hero is very reliable.
Very is not an understatement- they strive to be the helping hand, which is part of why they're heroes to begin with. They exercise their independence and inner strength in their relationships with others, for they psychologically (unfortunately) believe that they themselves are capable of dealing with the stresses and woes of life, but the people around them are too fragile to do so; at least more fragile than they are. The problems they resolve cover a wide range from emotional breakdowns to actual physical tasks.
Your superhero is usually your rock. They are also characterized with an unbelievable capacity to be happy. They are always ones to smile and joke around, regardless of how hard the situations you know they are bearing with are. This is somehow attached to their emotional independence- how could anyone ever know they're struggling? God forbid! They're not mere humans after all!
Superheroes tend to be very interesting. Of course they are! They have no personal woes to discuss, so all they talk about is their adventurous spontaneous life, or the philosophical mysteries of the planet. Some might even delve into the cosmic oblivion in casual conversation, how impressive is that? This brings us to one conclusion: The biggest telltale sign that you have a superhero is that they know everything about you, and you know nothing substantial about them.
Have you met your superhero yet?
Regardless, this brings us to the next question: How do we break the hero complex? Is there any hope of meeting the little person inside them that holds their human nature and vulnerabilities?
2. The Secret to the Heart of the Hero
Although this study is far from over, and much more data collection and research is needed for any sort of buzzfeed-worthy patent on this article, I will share my current wisdom on how to understand, and therefore connect with the superhero:
The hero might show you how sturdy they are- you could tell them literally anything and everything would be A-Okay. Should you though? No. The hero intentionally shows you that they can bear any problem of yours, and odds are they can, but they will then also bear the responsibility of withholding your trust in their capacity to be strong. They will therefore never reveal their weakness to you through their problems. It might be hard, but don't unleash vulnerabilities on anyone who isn't vulnerable back. Otherwise, it's not a real friendship. It's an illusion. They're just your free psychiatrist. However, you could open up about weaknesses in a fashion that implies that you are in fact in complete control of the situation. This will help them see that you can both have problems and be strong. They're not mutually exclusive. It might encourage them to open up too!
Through your self-reliance and emotional independence, regardless of the hero's willingness to help you, you'll show them that you're not fragile at all as they'd suspected, rather you are fully capable of sustaining yourself. Maybe then you're capable of helping them too? They will feel far more comfortable opening up to someone who they do not need to prove their strength to, to gain their trust.
In short, the best way to 'connect' with a superhero, is to be their superhero.