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Rated: 13+ · Fiction · Dark · #2061774
A restaurant went out of business after a terrible death.
Bogan and his wife decided to stop at a brand new dive in a strip mall two blocks from home. When they sat down under the movie poster from Motel Hell {a campy B flick from the 1980s}, they noticed "Today's Special". For a thousand dollars they could purchase a slice of Lobster Quiche made from blue lobster and topped with beluga caviar.
Bogan, who is a retired forensic pathologist, decided to plunge his knife in first hoping to cut out a nice a big bite and then use the fork to scoop it up. As Bogan's knife traveled down past the cheese, past the eggs, he hit pay dirt. Any second now he would be experiencing a taste sensation reserved for only the most discriminating palate.
Then something started pulling on his knife. They shouldn't serve such fine wine before the meal because it tempted customers to indulge; he thought. It pulled and pulled. Finally he couldn't the grip the knife. Some invisible force converted his eating utensil into a rope and he never excelled at tug a war.
Then out of nowhere a huge lobster claw clutching Bogan's knife emerged and stabbed him to death while entertainers played the music from Psycho. As Bogan screamed in pain, his wife tried to call 911 but there was no dial tone. The restaurant owner never thought cheating the phone company with a bad check would result in getting denied service
but then again s___ happens.
A petite female server looked over at Bogan and growled,
"Shut up before you drive away my customers".
A few minutes later another female server approached the table. She was only part time while training for a career at the local convent. Surly a graduate of the prestigious Harvard Divinity School would be more diplomatic. She barked out loud,
"If you think I'm cleaning up that bloody mess for the tripe these tight wads pay, you are nuts."
A few seconds later the manager came in. By this time Bogan passed away so the manager knew he wasn't going to get paid. He said,
"Get that dog garn stiff out of my restaurant."
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