by Kat Dans
Just some thoughts in my head...
|Everything swarms around my head, around myself, and I am expected to excel in everything I do, but how is that possible when I don't even feel like getting up in the morning? But I keep going. I have to. Too many people are counting on me. I cannot let them down. I cannot let myself down. I told myself I would prove them wrong. But at what cost? I never knew proving people wrong would push me this far toward insanity. I wish that no one expected anything from me, because if that was the case I could breathe easy, but I can't. They have hope that I will make something of my life. And I have to. I have to prove them wrong. Four years I have been striving to prove them wrong. I have to keep going, because if I don't, where will I go? I will have nothing.
Something I always say, nothing is impossible, even if it seems improbable, pushes me forwards, because there is no such thing as zero certainty, only extremely unlikely. Every thing, every thought, every action that is done by most will have some outlier... Some person that exceeds the average. So it is possible, as long as I exceed average, and keep pushing. I can do this. No matter how broken I may feel.
After every ghost of thought, struggle, and pain I have been through, I learn to survive, I learn to hold myself together, that eventually I become stronger. I learn how to be strong. I am strong. I am like a diamond. We are all diamonds. After everything we have been through, we are still here. We are still alive, even if we feel like death. If you can breathe a breath right now, you can breathe another tomorrow. Keep striving. Keep fighting. Nothing can truly break us. We are diamonds. We are indestructible.