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Rated: 13+ · Monologue · Comedy · #2072242
LOL .....my mind in 'free' time. An exercise letting my mind have fun. It makes me laugh.
January 17, 2016 9:00 am.
Politically correct Strawberry Shortcake

Friday while cleaning out the refrigerator, I found the quart of Heavy Whipping Cream I had bought the day before Christmas. I had used half for that holiday's pumpkin pie and cherry cheesecake while the other half migrated to the back of the top shelf in the fridge.
Dated 'Use by Jan 6 2016', I smelled it and it seemed alright, so I whipped it in the KitchenAid with vanilla, and sugar, tasted it, and it seemed perfect.
But, I had nothing to put it on!
In my world, somewhere a herd of cows had brewed the milk (expense), that made the cream (expense), that was processed and put into this quart container (expense). It was trucked to a warehouse, and then a store (expense), where it was then put on a shelf in a cooled cooler (expense).
I bought it (expense) from a cashier (expense), transported it home (expense), cooled it for 23 days (expense), and discovered it again.
In my mind, I couldn't waste all of this energy and expense, so I designated the use of this whipped cream as an emergency, because I had no idea how much longer it would last.
So, I instructed Kathy, who was heading out on her Saturday morning grocery shopping, to get me a boxed angel food cake mix, and a container of the strawberries that I noticed where on sale (expense). She did, and I sliced the strawberries and baked the angel food cake in bread pans (expense).
This morning I got up, and dedicated myself to the devouration of that very expensive whipped cream, cake and strawberries by designating the whole mass as EMERGENCY STRAWBERRY SHORTCAKE since using the whipped cream had already been designated an emergency, and it was part of the whole desert. (The Angel Food Cake, not being short cake is not important. Saving the whipped cream was)
I feel at peace with the world knowing that I used modern political sense, while taking care of my primal instincts for a very delicious, and completely justified breakfast.
Ronald Drobeck for Congress.
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