by Mari McKee
Short story on domestic abuse
|Hell found me. The problem is I am still alive. In the natural order of life, Heaven or Hell does not begin until death. I have a normal respiration
rate, a normal heart beat and nearly medical text- perfect blood pressure. I was taught that Hell was for the unforgiven, the depraved, and all of the Class A sinners. Feeling an impending doom, no matter how good my vital signs are at this moment, I am in Hell on earth.
My hell has a devil named Daniel; he is my husband. Young, foolish, and in love, I married him with eyes wide open. I had chosen the road most traveled, the road of naivety. I was inundated with a childish belief in goodness. It was on our honeymoon that I found my eyes wide shut. It was the first of a long line of brain-numbing slaps and brutal fists to my face. Resulting black eyes, swollen shut, only serve to increase his fury. The putrification of necrotic tissue results in an indescribable stench.
I have become a mouse, trying to stay hidden in the house that I cannot leave, while desperately trying to stealthily avoid death traps. He has systematically, and with malice, alienated my family and friends so that no one tries to contact me. We have only one cell phone which he carries twenty four hours a day. Some may think I am suffering from OCD. I spend hours cleaning the house, doing laundry, and cooking his meals in order to avoid the neck choke he uses on me until I lose consciousness. Everything has to be perfect, but I am far more imperfect. Some may think I am mentally ill.”She suffers from agoraphobia.”
My prayers for salvation are unheard. My screams are soundless while the pain he inflicts upon me does the screaming. External wounds heal slowly. Internal wounds grow exponentially with a festering rot.
With no money, no transportation, no self-esteem, extinguished faith, feeling hopeless and helpless, there is no safe harbor. And there is no escape. With no sense of direction, how can I navigate these dark and infinite labyrinths? There is no suicidal ideation. He has cameras everywhere and he watches my every move. Eventually he will murder me. Yes, Hell found me and I willingly entered the gates and then slammed them shut.