by John Holmes
What if one day you just let it out? In a locked room everyone is at your mercy...
|Have you ever been sitting in a room full of people, perhaps in school, university or at a group meeting, and find yourself in the position in which you think that you could completely lose it any second? This wish just to stand up and scream, throwing over the tables and chairs while acting like a complete lunatic. But you aren't crazy, you simply want to let it out, you want to have fun.
Those people there have no idea what's happening, what you could do to them. Perhaps they're confused or even scared by you. And you want them to be! At this point anything could happen because you're just letting everything out; you're doing what I've wanted to do for such a long time!
Those people are all fools, they don't- they can't understand you.
Let us think a bit further.
The room is closed, you have locked everyone in with the key you took from one of them; from now on everyone is at your mercy, at your liking. Who ruins your moment, your fantasy is the first to die. People are going to day anyway but those little know-it-all-heroes make it easier for the beginning to choose someone.
Perhaps you even did pack your hunting knife this morning or you simply have it with you in general. Slowly for everyone to see you get it out, you want them to know that things have changed, this is your show now. Their faces look irritated, shocked, the best ones are those who are afraid and scared of you. This expression is the best you can get from those fools!
An amused laugh exits your throat, similar to the evil laughter you always see in films, but yours is so much better because yours is real and authentic. Nobody can take this way from you, this is your own little enjoyment and everybody else has to play along. What happens later is not important at this point; this is about living in the moment, in the excitement!
Let them see the blinking surface of your knife as it reflects their shocking, crying eyes that follow your every move. Let them see and know what they are about to face because this blade is not going to stay clean today. You want to behold its shine covered in a red curtain drawn from the bodies of the people in front of you. Tell them what has been going on in your mind, shouldn't they at least know what honour they receive by being here fulfilling your fantasy. You had planned this in your head so many times; theoretically they have gone through this so often. Not quite sure if there was ever a version those fools would have liked, it is highly unlikely; as are survivors.
You laugh again as you think about this. They have no idea what is about to happen, this is hilarious!
But even a pack of fools has a leader, someone all the others look up to although the authority lies in their bed crying just as the rest does. Show them what you've got; after all you want them to know that right now you stand above every single one of them. The leader, the figure of authority is nothing to you now, it has never noticed nor acknowledged you; it doesn't even know your name! But from this day on no one shall forget who you are forevermore. Authority has never taught you anything, it only ever held you back and now this is what they receive in return. And as the grey flesh of authority touches your blade, you look into its eyes one more time to laugh at their ignorance as finally their red river streams over your hand.
One of the girls shrieks as the body falls to the floor where authority lives its last seconds. The rest of the people are either too disgusted to look or watch with eyes wide open and shock written all over their faces.
Oh, this is most splendid!
You had anticipated this day for such a very long time but never had you imagined that it would feel so marvellous, so freeing. Why others regard this as inhumane you'll never quite understand.
"You see this?" Finally you turn to attend the crowd; a smile is about your lips as you speak your words. "I have dreamed about this for so long and none of you had the faintest idea!" An amused laugh echoes through the room no one can escape. Your voice is full of enjoyment, with relish you speak to the people cowering to your feet. "This is what I can and would love to do with every - single - one - of you. This is going to be the most enjoyable day I've ever had." Again there's the laughter the others cannot bear to hear. But it is not like that this is of importance to you.
"You might wonder why this is happening? Why am I doing this?" You carefully pace through the room, looking into the others' eyes and smile when you see their fear as they turn their heads away from you. "Why, let me tell you..."
Slowly your gaze wanders before it stops at a girl, all dressed up with tons of fake beauty all over her, who cowers at the wall and bears an expression as if the most revolting thing is happening to her. She doesn't want to look at you so she doesn't quite notice you walking up to her.
"Yes, let me tell you, little girl." You grab her by the arm to get her up, she fights but you only have to show her the blade and she is quiet. Gently you lead her up to the front of the crowd, almost as if you had asked her for a dance.
"Have you ever had this random thought of pushing someone in front of a train while waiting on a platform?" You can see in their eyes that you have hit the right spot. "Or simply punching a stranger in the street?"
You slap the girl next to you so that she cries out, but you only laugh again. She holds her reddened cheek with her hand but you push that aside and slap her again: this time even harder. She falls to the ground, crying out.
"Oh, you have no idea how strong this desire has been burning in my chest..." You bow down to her, now raising your knife again. The blade is right next to her cheek. "Ohhh..." You growl a noise similar to a deep purr into her ear and you can feel that a shiver is running down her spine. "How I would love to cut your rosy face..." You make her look into your eyes and what you see pleases you.
Suddenly you can hear someone standing up behind you.
"Stop this bullshit! Why ARE you doing this?!"
You can hear steps so you turn around to see a young man walking up to you in rage. But you are quicker.
You switch the blade in your hand and rush towards him. "Don't be such an impatient spoil-sport!" you laugh then the knife has already found its way into the boy's abdomen two times. You hurry back to the girl to pull her next to the lying boy.
"I'm just trying to have some fun!"
With those words you cut the girl's throat and her blood spills all over the young man who has to watch everything. You let go of her and she falls on his wounds where she finds her last bed as the blood quills out of her neck, covering the boy's clothes and the floor in a deep coloured stain.
For a few seconds you stare at the bodies while you see the boy's eyes blinking for a last time before they don't close anymore.
Slowly you rise up again, the blood now dropping from the crimson blade. "That's all you are." With relish you let the knife glide over your tongue so you can taste your reward. You let your gaze wander while doing so to enjoy all those frightened and petrified looks that now lie in the others' eyes.
Suddenly you run into the crowd again to grab another girl by her ponytail and thus throwing her to the ground. Smiling, you step over her never losing your smug expression.
"Something to have fun with."
You lift her shirt so her stomach is exposed. Carefully you position the knife on the naked flesh with a certain amount of pressure. Then you start drawing a line. The girl beneath you is screaming as the metal cuts deep into her body all the way along her waist. More cuts into her torso follow, some longer, some deeper. The girl is continuously weeping, which is good; you want to hear her despair. You are now working your way up to her head but without touching her throat yet.
"Don't close your eyes." you mumble into her ear. "Or I'll have to keep them open for you."
You put the blade on her forehead. From the left temple to the right temple a fine but bloody line now decorates her face. Another one you set right between her eyes along the back of her nose. At this point she doesn't manage it to keep her eyes up any longer; she screams from her lungs.
"Come on!" you complain, falling back. "I want to see what you think when you look at me!" She is breathing heavily as she coughs and some blood even comes out of her mouth. This lightens you up a bit again while she has her eyes opened again. "Good girl..." You smile at her. "You're learning."
But then you have to turn around; you heard steps again.
This time it's two men, more muscles, less brain. They honestly believe that this is going to work on you.
"Boys! We already had this!" You point towards the other boy upon whom the girl lies. At first you laugh but then they run towards you and all your attention focuses.
You manage it to slash at the first one but then the other one can grab you. The boy you had hurt gets up and comes towards you. With a sudden jump you lift your legs to kick him; he falls back while you and the other boy holding you crash into the wall. The boy's grip loosens and you turn around, slashing his throat twice immediately. Furiously you turn back to see that the second young man had gotten up again. With a scream you run up to him and thus overthrowing him. The two of you wrestle on the ground for a few seconds but then you manage it to get your hands free to grab the knife you had accidently lost. Savagely you drive the blade into his chest multiple times even after he is not moving anymore.
How many holes he has in the end you aren't sure about; you lost count pretty quickly.
As you slowly move back into reality you look at your hands which are by now completely covered in blood; a look into the window shows you that it's the same with your face.
You stand there for more than a minute, beholding the strange but appealing beauty of this red vital fluid on your body.
With a deep sigh you eventually turn back to the crowd. The girl with the cuts all over her body is still breathing though just barely.
"Don't be smart people. It doesn't suit you. Don't ruin this." With smooth steps you walk through the room back to the girl while everyone listens to your words. "You DON'T ruin this FOR ME!" With these last words you run the knife into the coughing girl's heart. She stops breathing immediately.
You sit down next to her for a moment; the blade is still stuck in her chest. Everyone's eyes are now on you as if they were waiting for you to choose the next to kill. You look around slowly, curiously, taking in every look that is given to you.
"You see, you don't intervene." You're speaking quietly, unsure if to really address the people in the room. "You don't do that otherwise it just doesn't work!" Now you do look up into their faces. Someone has to be blamed after all. "I just- I just want to do this. You don't destroy this for me. I've already kept this back for far too long." You reach for the knife in the girl's chest, it takes a few tries until you manage to pull it out. "To you I'm the bad-guy in all this. But-" You let out an almost sarcastic laugh. "Let's be honest here, people."
You are now standing in the middle of the room again, observing every single one of those kneeling fools. None of them even have the chance to react as you flash around to the people next to the windows, grab one of the boys by the shoulder and push the knife through his lower skull.
The people next to you shriek back, behind you some girls are screaming again.
With a jolt you pull the blade out of the boy who immediately falls over. You push him aside then look at your tool once more to taste its crimson cover before you address the crowd again:
"We all have our dark little secrets and we all need to blow off some steam from time to time."
"You're crazy!" it suddenly comes from on of the girls near the backroom corner.
"Am I?" You smile at her; not mockingly but still somehow amused. "That's nice of you to think but I believe that I have to decline that statement. Trust me-" You now look her directly into the eyes and you can see that she has to force herself not to turn away. "I am fully aware of what I'm doing."
"Don't you have any regards for human life?!" She spits the words in disgust but eventually breaks visual contact.
"As much as you like to think that: I'm not a psychopath." You still look at her but you speak up loud enough for everyone to hear. "Don't presume to know what I feel like! As much as I want to..." For a second you pause and lower your eyes. "I cannot act completely without remorse."
A strange silence follows this answer. Somehow everyone's look wanders towards you, either directly or in mind.
"Then..." the girl carefully speaks up again. "Why are you doing this?"
For another second it's quiet then you flash around and lay the knife onto her throat.
"Because I want to!"
Your eyes wide opened you stare at her. She doesn't look away but doesn't utter another word. Her breathing is heavy, she doesn't dare to move another muscle afraid that you will slit her throat next. However, you slowly move the blade away from her rosy flesh while you even give her a well-meant smile.
For a moment you are lost in thoughts and just keep quiet while your gaze wanders along the row of windows. It couldn't have been a nicer day. At least they were not dying on a rainy grey afternoon. It would only be too typical if a day of death was accompanied by a stormy dark mood. It's an ordinary day for ordinary people.
That's all they are: ordinary.
"So! How can we make things a bit more special?"
You are out of your trance and put on a sneaky grin again. You pause as if you expected someone to actually reply something. "Ha! I thought someone would say 'You could let us go.'" You laugh, the only one to do so.
Slowly you pace through the room like a lion choosing her pray; elegant but deadly. You like the idea of this picture but the others are too oblivious to see it as well.
Your eyes fall onto a boy sitting against the wall who you recognise. He's one of those people who points at you and laughs when you walk by. You should know, after all he has done it to you several times.
"And you thought I never noticed..." you sigh as you approach him.
"It's me next?" He tries to sound unimpressed but doesn't quite manage it. "Sure you can take me on?"
"Don't play the cool guy!" you interrupt him. "How could anyone ever like someone like you?"
You draw near him but he surprises you and launches forward. He throws you to the ground and instantly kneels over you as to apprehend you from moving. You try to struggle but then he starts punching you. Soon you can feel a swollen lip and begin to taste blood. The next punch is going to break your nose and the one after that will knock you out, you're sure of it. Then it would all be over already.
This was NOT going to happen!
The boy's fist hits your nose, you hear it crack and then his look stiffens.
You had managed it to move your arm and thrust the knife into his abdomen.
"You wish!" you hiss in his face before you pull the blade out and push him off you. Now he lies under you, now he's at your mercy.
He's fighting heavily, you realise that he won't be so easy. The first thrust goes into his left hand. He screams as he looks into the hole in his palm but is interrupted by his own second shriek as you drive the second thrust through his right hand, pushing it to the ground and sticking the blade into the floor.
He is still struggling but now it is only pathetic to look at. Delightfully you are laying your hands around his throat and slowly start to apply more and more pressure. Sure, it takes longer and isn't bloody but to see the life leaving his eyes gives you such a fantastic feeling of excitement which makes this completely worth it.
You don't loosen your grip until his chest stops moving and even then it takes a few seconds before you take your hands off. After all you want to be sure that he is not standing up again.
"I could have taken you on any time I wanted." you whisper into his ear before you finally get off him and let yourself fall against a table you had pushed aside during your struggle. Almost bored you look at the body next to you and sigh deeply.
Surprised you look up and see that a girl only sitting a few feet away to your left is looking directly at you.
"Thanks?" you reply doubtfully. "That's something new." You smile at her but she is unable to reply it.
"This guy has been laughing at me and insulting me for over a year..." She quivers and speaks without looking at anyone and still she has your full attention. "I've been afraid to come here every day. Somehow he would always turn up where I was, I don't even know why..." Her voice trails off into a tremoring whisper. "I just never knew what to do..."
She closes her eyes and falls silent. It's clear to you that she feels uncomfortable about this whole thing but you also heard the touch of relief in her voice as she spoke her words.
"Don't feel ashamed of this." you tell her. She doesn't move. "It's okay to think a little madly sometimes..." She doesn't want to answer but you don't blame her; people have difficulty with embracing their more unusual and dark psyche.
You watch her for a few more seconds then your look falls back to the knife in the boy's hand. After some wobbling to and fro you eventually manage to pull it out as blood drips from its tip. Admiringly you behold the blade for a longer moment while slightly tilting it to see its red shade in the light of the sun.
"Isn't this the most beautiful colour you have ever seen?" Although you don't expect a reply it still kind of bothers you that no one answers you.
"Aren't you all simple minded little fools?" you laugh as you rise to walk through the room once more. "How are people like you even able to enjoy life? No one seems to be able to recognise what is important; how it's not only about work, appointments and finding a partner. You've got to live in the here and now otherwise you will regret it later."
You stop in the front of the room where a group of all made up girls in too short skirts is cowering. They start to cry as they see that you decided to focus on them, desperately trying to move further away from you into the room's corner. But there's nowhere they can go anymore.
You grab the fake blonde in the middle but the others try to hold on to her, however their strength is a joke to you and soon you have the girl in your arms. You take her hand in a loving motion and even smile at her.
"Never shrink away from something you want to do."
And before the girl even has the chance to react you have already twisted her wrist and made three deep vertical cuts into her arteries. The blood splashes over yours and the girl's face as she falls to the floor, screaming in agony. You pick up another girl from the group who tries to slap and get away from you but her struggle is useless as you cut her throat and throw her down next to the blonde. You kneel down to the two of them, observing that the yellow haired girl tries to hold her wounds with her other hand. You take this as an unintentional reminder and grab her other wrist to slash it as well. Both girls are still breathing under their heavy trembling as you behold the two in an observational fashion.
"Now, let's see who manages to stay up longer." You even stay down for a moment to look into their faces which are full of agony and despair. They are crying and trying not to waste too much breath while holding their wounds with their hands as to not lose more blood.
"-come quick, please! Hurry!"
The words are spoken quietly but you can still hear them and turn around sharply. And just as you feared there was a boy nervously hissing into his mobile phone. You run towards him as fast as you can and take the phone out of his hands and slap him out of the way.
"I'm sorry!" you say as calmly as you are able to right now. "My friends and I are having a party and we forced one of us to prank-call the police. I'm sorry we bothered you, it won't happen again."
"Are you share that everything is okay?" the woman replies doubtfully on the other side.
"Absolutely, miss. I'm sorry that-"
"RICHARDS STREET 25, JUST COME! PEOPLE ARE DYING!"
As quickly as you can you cancel the call and turn around furiously. A girl right behind you had screamed the address of the building out of her lungs.
"Next person who tries to play the hero or touches his phone won't get such a nice treatment as the others!" With those words you throw the phone against the wall right above the hero-girl's head.
You start pacing through the room, ruffling nervously through your hair. You know what you hadn't cancelled the call fast enough and the police woman certainly would not let this call pass without any suspicious thoughts.
"What're you gonna do now?" It is the girl from before who had called you crazy and asked you why you were doing this. "You can't kill all of us before the police will arrive here."
"Do you want me to try?" you reply with a smile. "Until the woman decides to tell her officers about this five minutes pass plus another ten to fifteen minutes in which they discuss whether to come here or not what they will most likely do which takes another ten minutes. This adds up to about twenty five to thirty minutes." You try to give her a self-confident expression but you know that it doesn't seem as good as you want it to be.
"Well, this is a little unfortunate..." you sigh as you start walking through the room again. Eventually you stop at the two girls to see what had happened to them. The girl with the cut throat isn't moving any longer while the other girl's chest is still, although just barely, moving. Slowly you bow down to her and behold her with a tired expression. "Well, at least someone won something." you say in an airy fashion. "Congratulations" You slam the blade into her chest and thus ending her final struggle; an almost relieved expression lies on her face as you see her eventually leave.
But somehow it doesn't excite you as much as the other ones before.
You realise that it would not take any longer before the police would storm into this room. Leaving is an option you never had in mind from the beginning but it slowly seems to become the only logical solution to get out of this situation. In thought you put your hands into your pocket and get out the key which you had taken away from authority to lock the door.
"You're not gonna leave, are you?" asks the same girl again, this time in a scornful manner. "Are you a coward after all?"
You laugh at her words but can't help it to think about them. "You just want me to get caught, don't you?"
"I want you to stand in for what you did!" she replies angrily.
"But I also want to continue what I did today." you answer her and look at the key again. Your glance wanders to the door.
Suddenly the girl throws herself at on you and pulls at your hand. She forces your hand open and you lose the key. The girl takes it and you take a swing with the knife but you stop the blade before it touches her.
"Give it to me!"
"If we're not allowed to leave, you're neither!" she screams and kicks you in the stomach.
You fall back and she stands up, rushing towards the door but you run after her. The two of you struggle along the back wall until you end up at the window side. The girl manages to get her hand free and then you already see her throwing the key out of the opened window.
"You stupid bitch!"
Madly you turn around to her and she closes her eyes with a scared expression. But you only stare at her, the hand with the knife tremors nervously. You think about slashing her but as she notices that you don't do anything she looks up to you again; you can't move.
"So" she says slowly as she finally dares to react. "What's gonna happen now?"
You want to give her a witty and calm answer but can't think of anything and eventually just walk past her into the middle of the room. Faster and faster you start pacing to and fro, not knowing what to do or how to react. This is not how this was supposed to go! You just wanted to-
You scream in desperation so that everyone in the room looks at you.
Something! Just something had to be done!
"This is not how I wanted it to be!" you say. "This is not how it was supposed to end!"
The people in the room observe you carefully, afraid of being attacked in your rage out of a sudden.
"What did you think would happen?" the girl now addresses you again. She is still at the back wall and has now fixed you with a serious look. "Did you honestly believe you could kill every single one of us and then just walk out of here without getting caught?"
"No! I just- I just wanted to-" You tear your hair in frustration, not having the slightest idea what to do next.
"In what kind of fantasy world do you live?"
The girl still isn't quiet, why does she say those words?
"What happened to you that you are doing this today? Is it us, is it your family, is it society? Is this some kind of weird vendetta? What are you trying to prove? Do you-"
"Shut up, shut up, shut up, SHUT UP!"
You have stopped pacing and now your look is fixed upon her as well. She has no clue and yet she talks as if she knew who you are. Nobody knows who you are, who you can be.
"You don't have the faintest idea what I am capable of! I want you all to know that no one's behaviour can be taken for granted. I'm as normal as they come. They being every single of you. I am not crazy. I'm simply living out what no one else dares to do in a 'behaved society'."
Now you let your gaze wander over the crowd, occasionally looking someone directly in the eyes.
"Have you never asked yourself what it must be like to end a human's life? Did you never just want to let go off it all and just run wild?" You smile a bit as you think about your next sentence; you like its metaphor. "We're being a Jekyll all our lives but so often we wish that we could just let out our Hyde." You can see that even the girl smiles briefly about your comparison and you a feel a bit better. "You have to live in the moment. Life is too valuable to be wasted one moment. It can end every and at any second." You smile gently. "As we have seen today."
The looks of you and the girl meet again and you quietly stare at each other for a few seconds.
"And you couldn't have just done boxing or something like that?" she asks mockingly.
The two of you share a warm laugh.
"I should have considered that." you say quietly. "Well, perhaps it becomes an alternative for passing time later..."
"Later?" the girl inquires carefully. "You mean when you are..."
A deep sigh exits your throat as you look at her with raised eyebrows.
"Let's be honest." You take a look at your wrist watch. "Probably when I'm in prison."
"You won't try to run away from this?" she asks.
You snort a silent laugh. "As if I could. You threw the key for the locked door out of the window of a fourth floor room. And I only got about five minutes left anyway before the police come here to look into this matter."
Your glance wanders from her to your hand in which you are still holding the bloody knife. Its blade is completely covered in red and so are your hands. Now that you look at yourself you see that your clothes are sprinkled with blood, even the soles of your shoes. You scan the room and see bloody footprints all over the ground. In the pools of red water ten people are lying dead all over the room. The others who had backed away are still cowering at the walls. The tables and chairs you had wildly pushed aside to capture your victims that tried to struggle.
You take a look at your watch again. Not long now, you could slowly prepare yourself.
"I guess this will go into evidence anyway..." You look at the knife then you carefully place it on the floor in front of you. While your gaze glides over to the girl next to you, you slowly get up and walk over to the window to look outside. Multiple police cars are already standing outside the building. Any moment now.
"Are they here?" the girl asks.
You keep still for a moment then you turn around to her and just nod. But as you look in her direction you see that the knife doesn't lie on the floor any longer. The girl follows your look and recognises it too in slight shock.
"Okay, who's got the knife?" you ask into the room in an annoyed tone. Carefully you take a few steps forward while looking around slowly. "Come on!" You stretch the words to make it sound more casual but you can't help it that you feel nervous. "It's a bit late to play the hero, don't you think?"
It is quiet for a few seconds and just as you suspect something to happen you get thrown over from behind. You fall over immediately and see about you one of the young men who wields the knife in his hand.
"I can't let you get away like this! You don't deserve it!"
You struggle and desperately try to break free but you fear that nothing is gonna help to get you out of this this time.
But then you see the girl running towards you, she grabs the boy by his shoulders and pulls him away as hard as she can. He falls back and she forces his hand open so she can get the knife from him.
For a second the three of you stop to breathe and you can hear multiple heavy steps outside in the corridor.
But before you can react the boy is on you again, forcing you down and ascending his fists into your face. Again the girl starts pulling at him but this time he is prepared and doesn't fall over. He pushes her aside and keeps punching you. You struggle and try to defend yourself but you know that he has the better position. You can hear the girl slamming against the door and screaming that they should hurry to come in. You try to crawl away from the boy but he seems like he doesn't want to stop. Over and over his fists hit you and you start feeling numb all over your body.
But then you see a flash of movement; the girl runs towards you with full speed and throws herself on the boy so that the two of them fall off you. You can finally get up and look at the girl who also stands up after pushing the boy aside; quickly she picks up the knight which she had lost during her attacks and had landed near the boy.
The police are starting to kick the door down, they will be through any moment. You nod towards the girl's hand.
"Do you give me this last one?"
She stares at you, her hand shivers. Quickly you walk up to her and you even believe to see her raise the hand towards you but you just take the knife from her and run to the boy who also comes at you fiercely. But he won't stand a chance.
This second the door swings open with a crash and several police men storm in. They point their guns at you but the exact moment they come into the room you drive the blade through the boy's chin up into his brain.
For a second the police men are shocked then one of them says "Put down the knife!"
You pull the blade out of the boy who immediately falls to the ground. Then you slowly put your hands in the air and let the knife drop. Quickly the police men draw in on you and after a few seconds you find yourself in handcuffs. They are telling you your rights as they lead you out of the room but you aren't listening. You look at the girl a last time before the police officers bring you away and into the corridors of the building. The people you pass look at you scared and in shock. They don't even know yet what has happened. But you don't care. You did what you wanted to do, you are satisfied. Everything else is unimportant.
They secure your hands and feet before they lead you anywhere. They have learned not to take any risks with you since you get bored quickly. But in general you are an inmate that knows how to behave.
You are allowed to receive visitors in the usual little hall as the others but up until now it had only been your parents and your siblings since the first day that had come to visit you. But as you enter the hall you see a girl that's neither your mother nor your sister. Slowly you sit down but with a gentle smile on your face.
"It's you." you simply say. "I'm honestly a little surprised to see you here."
She even smiles a bit as well.
"I'm not quite sure why I came." she answers slowly. "I guess I just wanted to see what has become of you." She scans you for a second. "Your trial was quite the big thing in the news."
"I hope it was." you reply with a laugh. "I'm not that aware of it since I was busy being IN court."
She laughs mildly back at you.
"You plead guilty." she says.
"Of course." you answer and now look her directly in the eyes. "I stand in for what I do."
She beholds your expression for a moment then she shakes her head. "No plea of innocence because of insanity?"
You can't help but laugh. "My lawyer actually tried that!" you say amused. "But I told him that this wouldn't work with me."
She avoids your look and you can see that she blushes. You look at her but don't say anything.
"Well..." she starts talking again. "Then I guess the book I got you as a gift could appear to be a bit... ironic."
You stare at her in surprise as she reaches into her bag and gets out a little wrapped square. You take it with a polite nod.
"Don't open it here!" she hurries to say.
You smile at her and nod again. "How are things with the others?" you ask her curiously.
Now her face stiffens a little but she is thinking about an answer.
"They try to forget about it all now." she eventually says. "They were glad when you landed you here and now they just wanna continue with their lives."
"And you?" you reply. "Have you forgotten?"
She looks at you and then shakes her head.
"No. I won't."
You smile mildly at her.
The guard comes to tell you that your time is over.
"Thanks for visiting!" you tell her as you are led away and smile. You hope that she will visit you again but you don't expect it from her.
Without a word between you and the guard you are brought back to your cell and your restraints get taken off. You sit down on your little hard bench and open the present. As soon as you see the title you really have to laugh a bit. But you lie back against the wall of your prison cell and start reading Robert Bloch's Psycho.