This is from an experience I had.
|We were walking through the dying leaves that had been struck down by the force of the harsh wind. I was not paying much attention to my surroundings because I was too busy being distracted by your smile and by your warm and tight hold in the middle of an invigorating fall.
I never thought that we would end up in such a sad puddle of mess. I did not want anyone to know that we were in love because I was ashamed. I was too ashamed of our condition and of who we were.
All I wanted was for someone to love me for me and that is exactly what you gave me. I took you for granted and for that I am paying the price. I am extremely sorry for leaving you alone and for hurting you the way I did.
We loved one another in the cold season of death and that is exactly how we ended up - dead on the cold cement floor. But who cares about the texture of the floor, right?
I just never wanted to give you all of my demons and I loved you too much so I decided to spare you a bigger pain than what I gave you. I promised you that I would always love you and I have not broken that promise. I never will. I love you as my friend - one of my closest friends.
I decided to go because if I would have stayed, you would not have found the love that you experienced for so many months. If I would have stayed, I would have lost the war in my mind and I would have turned too cruel to have ever loved you. I wanted what was best for both of us.
Now, here we are - two young humans that cannot let go of the past. We desire the love that we once shared. We know that it cannot be possible but I suppose that in our next life we will try and we will make it last longer. We are fools that fall too easily and cannot forget quickly enough.
We have become two saddening puppets that can only function with the touch of the other. I know that we hurt every night at the strike of three in the morning. We miss who we were and what we had lived for then. But, we are now different and we must live with the coldness of our world. Soon, it will be fall, once more, and I will miss what I once had with your ebony and ivory eyes. How lovely we were when we were locked behind a dark and empty door. In the light we were only a couple of children that could not stand the heat of one another as we stood in a crowded street.
I apologize for wasting one another’s time and I hope that someday we will no longer have to look at each other’s saddening eyes and, instead, see joyful eyes that smile at one another’s success.
I am now in love with what we will never become and I will live with the pain that I once inflicted upon you, honey. You will love once more as you already have. We will continue our lives and, hopefully, we will finally be able to forget. I will end up towards the North side of our love and you will end up in the South. We will turn our backs to each other and that is how we will view the world - without the other’s heart.