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by Lottie
Rated: E · Letter/Memo · Emotional · #2090818
A personal piece of writing fuelled by my emotion, showing a rapid decline in mood.
I cannot tell you how much I miss our early days and our idle ways. It seemed much more simple then and even when our days seemed numbered. I put you at arms length because I had to. I didn't have the strength to continue the way it was with the added trauma [house fire].
Even then all I could think of was you and we grew again and came back to each other. And then you dead-lined my decision and I knew I couldn't be with another, it had to be you.
I'm just sorry I took so damn long. I don't know why!
You wrote me poetry, cuddled me like nothing in the world could get us, kissed me like there was no body else in the world. You made me feel like I was finally somebody and despite all the pain, the heart ache over the years finally made sense and it all seemed worth it because it brought me to you. We belonged together, we both knew it even though I almost blew it. Thank you for holding on and keeping me strong.
The excitement of going to Thorpe Park with you and staying in the hotel together. I had never been happier and I seem to remember the happiness as if it was only a moment but it was a whole night. Complete with an amazing storm. I almost expected to wake up to find it was a dream, but no. I woke up to you and the wave of excitement came over me again. The same excited and happy feeling that I felt everyday because of you. You made me want to go to work as I knew i'd be with you soon enough as my shift ended and yours began.
I think I will always remember the look you used to give me where your eyes showed me love and the way you moved your mouth and almost smirked like you were about to kiss me.
I miss looking into those eyes and seeing love and passion.
I miss sitting on your lap in the office and throwing my arms around your neck.
I miss looking at you with your little sandwich and your stupid hair cut!
I miss the way we longed to spend every second with each other.
I miss the excitement of waiting to see our car pull up, any second now.
I miss feeling desperately wanted.
I miss feeling loved.
I feel lonely.
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