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Rated: ASR · Poetry · Personal · #2096669
Free verse. My rough day as a person with chronic health issues. For adVERSity contest
I open my eyes and the light is too bright for my head to handle
How will I lift myself out of bed this morning?
My body throbs, and I feel as though I am being stabbed from the inside out
I slowly move myself out of bed, careful not to make it worse
I sort through the mess of pill bottles, trying to remember which ones to take now
I swallow pill after pill, hoping that they will make a difference today

I don’t shower this morning, it hurts too much
I forgo the cane for today, glad this is an option, I don’t like the attention it draws
I head downstairs for breakfast, gripping the rail so my knees don’t give out
I am careful of what I choose to eat, so as not to upset my stomach
I leave early for the bus so I won’t need to run
I was going to read on the way to work today, but every bump is a distraction

I forget the pain and take the stairs instead of the elevator, stopping halfway up to regret
I message my love to lament, and to know I am not alone
I take a seat at my office job, wondering how I will do this
The computer chair rubs my skin uncomfortably, and I can’t get it to sit right
I don’t know where a mousepad is, and my wrist already aches
The ring of the phone is piercing, and the screen burns my eyes
I muster up the energy to cope, and begin the daily drill
I talk to customers, I fake a smile, I’m doing wonderful today

My coworkers ask how I am doing; they can see the strain on my face
They can tell I am worse than usual, but don’t realise it’s not by much
I tell them it’s a bad day, but I’m here so it could be worse
I can’t guarantee I will stay this good, I can’t guarantee I can stay here today
I hope with everything in me that what I say is true when I tell them tomorrow will be better

I go home at the end of the day eager to be done with duty
I fondly remember a time where athleticism was the normal for me
I allow only moments of bitterness, tears can’t be my life
I eat a sandwich for dinner to skip the effort of cooking
I know I need to shower, so I kneel in the tub to avoid a fall
I know I need to relax, so I force myself to do something fun but simple
I take my evening medication, careful to tell someone so I don’t take them twice

Exhausted from the day, I lie down in my bed, and struggle to sleep through the pain
I don’t feel good when I overcome the day, I want to have a day like everyone else
But I rest easier when I allow myself to remember that it’s okay to struggle, anyone would
I am proud that I made it through today, no matter how much it hurt
Although I still hope maybe tomorrow will be an easier day anyway
As much as I have to prove to the rest of the world that I can get by,
It’s all about proving it to myself.
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