A totally original idea about a teenage girl that fights vampires.
| 2256 words
Jean the Vampire Slayer
Jean couldn't concentrate at all during biology class. Physically, she was dead tired from being up all throughout the night slaying vampires. Mentally, she was having trouble with the voice of God in her head. The voice of God was usually derogatory and vulgar. It seemed that nothing Jean did could live up to His aspirations for her. She was sick of hearing how every time she took a night off of slaying he would claim the vampires were up to no good biting people and gaining a foothold in the dark underworld of vampires and demons.
Jean decided that if she were going to go slaying again tonight, she would have to catch some sleep at school. Her teachers at her high school thought that she was a very strange girl for always trying to sleep in class. There were other ways that Jean was eccentric as well.
Physically, she was busty and had good curves. She had long dark black hair that had a red streak in it. Her fingernails were also black. Her favorite color was black and she almost always wore black clothing as much as possible.
People from her school would joke around with her and call her a witch. But what they didn't know was that Jean really was a witch. She had the power to bless water to make it into holy water, which vampires don't care for. Vampires are also weak against fire and Jean had used her powers to create an amulet that would ignite a vampire with contact. She learned about these things from God; He would tell her how to make up appropriate magic spells and she would diligently follow his instructions.
As Jean got sleepier and sleepier during biology class, she thought about how she was always sacrificing her teenage years with vampire slaying. She didn't have any friends that knew her secret and it was making her depressed. If they only knew how her work benefitted mankind, then they would worship the ground she walked on. Being worshipped sounded like a nice thought; it's much better than having to go to school and pretend that you aren't a witch that kills vampires.
Jean woke with a start and saw the biology teacher looking down on her. Mr. Colter looked furious at Jean and she instantly felt her cheeks blush with embarrassment.
The voices in her head then told her to go to the restroom. She didn't have to go, but the voices insisted on it.
"Um, Mr. Colter, may I use the restroom?" Jean asked timidly.
"Only if you splash cold water on your face to wake up."
Jean left biology class and went down the hall to the girl's restroom. Inside, she waited patiently for a sign from God.
Just then, another girl entered the restroom. It was a friend of Jean's named Jesse. Jesse wore clothing appropriate for a punk girl and the two had become friends based on that and the fact that they both smoked weed.
"Oh, Jean, you're in luck. I have a couple of roaches from this morning. Do you want to smoke them out of my pipe?"
"Sure, I'm just killing time until biology class ends. Then I have to get back home."
Jean and Jesse proceeded to smoke the marijuana and each of them got a good buzz. Jean then could hear the voices in her head louder and more impactful. Sometimes God's voice would insult and berate Jean for not doing a better job killing vampires. Jean just wished she could have a normal teenage life without the voices. They were worse when she was high, and it was definitely unfair that she couldn't enjoy weed as much as she used to before God entered her life.
As she tried to enjoy her high, Jesse began to talk and talk and talk about the lame high school drama that Jean wished she could relate to. Jean then heard God's voice in her head giving her a briefing.
Apparently, a half vampire, half demon hybrid was in town and he called himself "Ozzy." Ozzy was an especially evil creature; he would eat children, rape women, and force the lesser demons to suck his dick for protection. Ozzy was too much of a threat to let live. He was to be slain, and it was up to Jean to do so.
"...and then he pretended like he never said that. Seriously, some men are just pigs!" Jesse said as Jean slowly gathered her senses.
It was at that point that the bell rang for class to be let out for the day. Jean parted with Jesse and went back to biology class to get her backpack. On the way back home she thought of how the existence of vampires and demons had been hidden so well. God, being the pervert that He is, would select sexy teenagers to go fight and kill the things that apparently came straight from Hell. This was ridiculous; if He were all-powerful, then why couldn't he just wipe out all the vampires and demons Himself? Hearing voices was not a very fun part of this deal, either. Whenever Jean got high, he would get mean.
When Jean got home, her first order of business was to get some sleep. She stripped and then lay under the counterpane and let herself doze off immediately. When she woke up at nine o'clock that night, she put on her clothes and loaded her backpack with what she would need.
Holy water? Check.
Silver knife? Check.
Brass knuckles? Check.
Crossbow bolts? Check.
Fire amulet? Around her neck on a cord.
Joint of weed? Check.
With that, Jean snuck out of her house (her parents had no idea she was a witch that kills vampires) and rode her bike to the downtown urban area where the vampires hung out. The female vampires were noteworthy because they would seduce a man with the promise of a hookup only to get bitten and bled dry. There were also gay male vampires that basically did the same thing.
It didn't take long for Jean to spot a gay male vampire lead an unsuspecting victim to his doom in an alleyway. Jean snuck up carefully as the vampire grabbed his victim and was about to bite him. Jean then ran up and smashed a bottle of holy water over the vampire's head.
"Ow! What the fuck!"
A sizzle sound came from the vampire's burning skin and he had lost all self-awareness of his surroundings.
"Go! Get the fuck out of here!" Jean yelled at the man whose life she had saved.
The vampire was still sizzling when Jean used her brass knuckled fist to pound the vampire in the chest and head. It was very little work and the vampire was at her mercy.
"Tell me everything you know about Ozzy or I'll beat you more!" Jean screamed at the vampire.
"Ozzy?" the vampire had a look of terror on his face. "What about him?"
"I want to know where he is so I can kill him!"
"But..." the vampire looked like he was struggling to make up his mind about what to do. "If I say anything and you fail to kill him, then he'll know I might have snitched. I can't risk that."
"Would you like more holy water to decide what to do?" Jean asked.
"No! Ok, I'll tell you. He's in the backstage area of the club on Sixth and F Street. But you'll never be able to kill him; he's too strong and he has a lot of underlings."
"I don't care about his underlings; he's my target and I'm going to kill him!"
"So, will you let me go?" asked the vampire.
"Uh, no, I don't think so!" Jean said as she plunged the silver knife through his eye and into his brain.
Jean then got on her bike and pedaled to the corner of Sixth and F Street. She started to hear God's voice saying that Ozzy was extremely strong; much stronger than your standard demon/vampire hybrid. He would take some craftiness to kill. When she arrived, she locked up her bike and psyched herself up for all the slaying she was about to do.
The club, known as "El Nariz Marron," was brightly lit up and there were five vampires smoking cigarettes and weed in front of the doors. Jean decided that she would have to take out the biggest one by surprise before dealing with the others.
"Ohhh, lookey, lookey. It's a sexy little teenager. I don't suppose you take it in the ass, hahahaha," laughed the biggest vampire, who happened to be the bouncer.
"You perv!" Jean yelled and threw a bottle of holy water right at the bouncer's face, which took everyone by surprise. She then pulled out her crossbow and fired bolts into two of the other vampires. The others then tried to rush Jean, but she used her karate skills to knock the other two of them onto their asses.
"You bitch!" screamed the bouncer. The bouncer rushed her and Jean shot a crossbow bolt into one of his legs. He wasn't able to put any weight on that leg and Jean took advantage of this by stabbing through one of his eyes with the silver knife.
The remaining two vampires decided to book it before Jean had a chance to do them in. Overall, things went pretty smoothly and she would be face-to-face with Ozzy soon.
Jean entered the club and within seconds all eyes were turned on her. There were eight of them and they looked pissed. Jean pulled out her crossbow and fired bolts into three of the vampires. She delivered a roundhouse kick to a vampire that knocked him onto his ass. She stabbed him in the heart with her silver knife and then delivered a sweep kick to another vampire. She stabbed him too and then fired more crossbow bolts into the three that had started the rush.
"Your mother sucks cock in Hell!" screamed a vampire before Jean fired a crossbow bolt into his eye, which killed him.
Another vampire jumped on Jean's back and tried to use his weight to pin her on the ground. However, Jean made an upward stabbing motion with her silver knife and stabbed him through the throat. She then made a rush at another vampire and stabbed him through the eye. Jean felt good about killing all of those vampire scum, but she knew it wasn't over yet. The three vampires that had survived her attack had gone to the backstage area to alert Ozzy.
When Ozzy came out, Jean was shocked. He was at least seven feet tall and he was BUILT. He was so big that Jean was shocked that he had found a muscle shirt big enough to fit his big frame. He literally could snap Jean like a twig if he got close enough to her. His skin was a reddish pink color and his hair, which was a simple buzz cut, was blonde. He had brown eyes and no facial hair.
"Are you the little girl that dares disrupt me on my night of reverie? To think, you were strong enough to fight all of those weaklings. However, your life is going to end now. I will crush your pelvis and ribs; I will snap off each of those pesky little limbs of yours. I will ring your neck until you nearly pass out, then I will let you catch a breath before doing it again and again!"
"You're a monster!" screamed Jean.
"Let's finish this." Ozzy ran right up to Jean and she had to roll to the left to avoid him. She quickly jumped behind the bar and was starting to feel afraid. Had she met her match? Was this how she was going to die? Would God's voice help her? He had been quiet since Jean had entered the club. Maybe he figured she was a lost cause. After all, how could anyone stand up to someone as big and scary as Ozzy?
Just then, one of Ozzy's muscular arms picked Joan up from cowering behind the bar and laid her down on her back in front of him. He then pulled himself up on top of her and held her down to restrain her.
"You're finished, little girl. I'm going to drain the blood from you just enough so you can still feel it when I stick myself inside you. Hahaahaahaha!"
Just when all hope seemed lost, Jean had one last trick up her sleeve. "Fuck off!" Jean then grabbed her fire amulet and brought it into contact with Ozzy's skin. Before he could contemplate what happened, he was engulfed in flames and began screaming in pain. Jean rolled to the side to get his flaming body off of her. She watched as Ozzy tried to roll out the flames to no avail. As he died, Jean wondered if she would ever face anyone as big and strong as Ozzy.
Jean then left the empty club and biked her way toward home. Once she had gotten far enough away, she pulled out her joint and smoked to her heart's delight. It was a long, hard night for her.
God started to talk to her again and He actually congratulated her for her hard work. Jean was pleased and she went to sleep that night with pleasant dreams.