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Rated: E · Other · Emotional · #2103303
I wrote this about my daily struggle I had with depression.
Where am I?
You’re in bed. You’re safe.
It is safe. Maybe I can stay here?
No. I’m sorry, but you have to go out and face the people, so you can keep your safe place.
I don’t want to.
I’m sorry, but you have to. You’re family is counting on you.

OK. I’m dressed. I have my things together and I’m heading to work. I hope the customers will be nice to me today.
They will be.
They were kind of tough on me yesterday and that one yelled at me a couple of days ago.
You’ll be fine today. You’ll have a good day.
I hope my co-workers will be nice to me.
They always are.
But, they don’t understand how hard this is for me.
Don’t worry. They’ll be nice to you.

I hate hiding in the bathroom stall.
It’s alright. You needed the break, or you would’ve cried in front of everyone.
I don’t want to go back out there.
Just take deep breaths. You’ll be alright.
I am.
Do you feel better?
A little.
Give it a couple more minutes, then you’ll be able to go back out.
I don’t want to go back out there. Maybe I can go home. I’ll tell them I’m sick. It’s not far from the truth.
You did that a couple of days ago. You can’t do it again.
What if I just quit?
You can’t. Your family is counting on you. Just keep taking deep breaths. You can do it.

I’m home, but I have to face my family. I’m too tired.
You’re safe at home. They love you. Come on put on a smile.
Doesn’t it make you feel good to see them smile and welcome you home?
Yes, but I want to be alone. I’m too tired to play happy.
Eat some dinner. You’ll feel better.
The little one wants me to play with them.
You can do it. Just watch them and stack some blocks.
They’re crying. I did it wrong.
It’s OK. Just hug them. They’ll stop crying.
Can I cry to?
No. You have to be happy for them.

Everyone’s in bed. The house is quiet. I feel better now.
You did good today.
I don’t feel like it.
Tomorrow will be better.
I hope so. Do I have to go back?
Get some sleep first. We’ll talk about it in the morning.
Can I just lay here and enjoy the quiet?
I’m safe here.
Yes you are.
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