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Rated: ASR · Fiction · Comedy · #2104346
Sat on Mount Tabor, having a chat.
God, and the Devil sit together on Mount Tabor

"So what's this meeting about Lucifer, me old mate?"
"Well, Reg, I wanted to have a word about the apocalypse"
“I’m still working on it pal”
“I was wondering, what sort of role, I am going to play Reg”
“Oh, you are definitely on the firm mate”
“Are you going to just turn the lights out, or...”
“I haven’t made up me mind yet Lucy”
“Would you mind, if I make a few suggestions?”
“No, you go ahead son”
“How about, having a bit of pestilence?”
“Could do, but who do you start with?”
“I would start with the blacks, Reg”
“Stereotypical response there Lucy”
“It’s what the world would expect from you”
“Okay, how about the Asians?”
“Are you a racist?”
“No Reg, I’m just making suggestions”
“I’d start with Ginger people”
“Are you fucking serious?”
“Try and remember who you are in the presence of Lucy”
“Sorry Reg, but ginger people?”
“Stands to reason Lucy, ginger hair, permeates all races”
“What, even the...”
“Yep, there’s plenty of ginger Amish mate”
“So what sort of pestilence Reg?”
“I’d go for boils and puss Lucy”
“Bit biblical though, Reg”
“Yeah, predictable, don’t want to give the holy Joe’s an edge”
“How about, persecution, because they are so annoying?”
“Could do, but what about the pestilence Lucy?”
“Flaky skin Reg”
“Brilliant, stress of persecution, brings on flaky skin”
“Which makes the people, persecute them, even more!”
“But how do we start the ball rolling Lucy?”
“Tough one Reg...We need a powerful country”
“Well, if it starts there, it will rebound around the world”
“Sensible idea Lucy, what country would you choose?”
“Chinese and Russians are too secretive, Reg”
“No chance with the North Koreans”
“It’s got to be The United States Of America Reg”
“Good choice mate, but how to start the ball rolling?”
“What if, the country was ruled by a ginger, Reg?”
“So he would want to protect other gingers, and start a world war!”
“Stands to reason Reg, he would use them nuclear bombs”
“Yeah, but what about the weeping and wailing Lucy?”
“They will put my name in the frame, so you are in the clear, Reg”
“Lovely job, but who do we put in the hot seat?”
“There’s a ginger bloke, billionaire, he looks a bit handy”
“What’s his name Lucy?”
“Er...Donald Trump I think”
“Right, get down there, and mark his card Lucy”
“I’m glad we had this meeting, Reg.”
“So am I, Lucy, I can start building my new world”

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