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by Toad
Rated: E · Article · Holiday · #2106332
'Parody' of a famous Christmas Poem
'Twas the kNight before Christmas (U.K. "wHereWolph'D" version)

'Twas the kNight before Christmas, when all through the House of Windsor
kNot a single creature was stirring, not even a mouse nor minister
The stockings were hung by the Throne with a hangman's noose
In hopes that St. Nicholas would corral the Nazis on the loose

The Nazis were nestled all snug in their illegal quasi-states
While visions of sugar-plumbed Euros redefined their fates
And Mamma in Her Crown and I in my kNight capture
Had each just settled down for a long winter's rapture

When out of the middle of nowhere arose quite the clutter-brain
That made everyone leap off their box to see who was so insane
And away to the tele everyone flew, so resembling Flash Gordon
Burning their hooded sheets, upon hearing the dodecachordon

With the nightly moon glaring off the tear-filled faces of the fallen Nazis
Added to the lustre of a mid-day shine on the Subjects, their patsies
When, what to their wondering eyes should suddenly appear
But a mini-bus and eight not-so-tiny Reigns; oh dear!

Driven by a pranky lil toad, quite lively and quick on the wit
All knew in a flash it must be St. Nick on a pogo-stick
But more rapid than photons, his corsairs they came
And he croaked then farted, while calling them by name

"Now, Francis! Now, Albert! Now, Henri and Margrethe!
0n, Harald! 0n, Carl! 0n, Willem-Alexander and Philippe!
To the top of the Palace! To the utmost top! Bee the gArg0yle!
Now fly aWay! Do fly aWay! Fly aWay and do foil the boil!"

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane would scurry
When they bump into a Nazi, just snicker at their worry
So on to Parliament the wild corsairs they so flew
With their sleighs full of torture toys and St. Nick too

And hidden in the sprinkle of a tinkle, as heard on their shingles
Were the prancing's and pawning's of the corsair's maniacal jingles
As they drew in their last free breath and were turning around
Down the chimney St. Nick came, looking more like a hound

It was covered all in fur, from its head down to its foot
With glaring teeth, all tarnished with specks of caput
And armed with a bundle of torture toys flung over its back
It looked more like a smoker, after opening their fag pack

Its eyes ... how they twinkled! Its dimples ... what a scary mole!
With lips dripping like bloody roses and eyes blacker than coal
Its drooling snarl-drawn mouth was turned-up like a smile
And the whiskers on their chins, ghosted white from the vile

The stump of a chump was tightly held in its daggerish teeth
As the smoke encircled its head, like an angelical wreath
It laughed at them trembling with fear, like a bilge full of jelly
With quite the wide berth, from way over-eating at the deli

It spoke not a single noun nor verb, but went straight to the perks
Pilfering their stockings and pantry, while mind-fucking the jerks
Then whilst laying its middle finger along-side its bold knows
It shoves a cattle prod all the way up their arse until it blows

They were plump and juicy little morsels, tantalizingly sweet
As they grasped at the realization, their heads hung at their feet
Then with a swish of its hips and a twist of their head
Soon gave way to the reality the Nazis were all dead

Then it sprang to its sleigh, to the team gave a whistle
And away they all flew, like the down of a thistle
But I heard them all exclaim, ere they flew out of ear


Riddle of G.A.O.T.U.

Giving chase to the long blows

And finding only short knows

Out of no where comes a breeze

That causes every oNe to freeze

Unless they pinched their nose

"BLESSED are the MEEK, for they shall inherit the earth [from their Nazi captors/enslavers]." - Matthew 5:5 (requoted by Toad)

"A patriot to the politics of government is a traitor to the People of the World." - Old Toad Proverb

"Nationalism (aka: Nazism) is an infantile disease; it's the measles of mankind." - Albert Einstein

"It always takes more time, energy, and patience, to clean-up wrongful actions, than it did to spill them in the first place. So the trick/cheat to avoiding that pitfall is to always drink from a spill-proof cUp and/or keep the hole in your lip plugged appropriately." - Old Toad Proverb

"ALL Dictionaries undeniably dictate that "mind" comes before "mouth" but many people do/say/think otherwise, but that's because those people refuse to open their mind before opening their mouth." - Old Toad Proverb

"Nothing interferes with my learning [of the truth] more than my formal [government led] education." - Albert Einstein (requoted by Toad)

"A cauliflower is nothing more than a cabbage with a college education." - Mark Twain


Merry Christmas ALL Zer0s! :D

Ribbit :)

Ps: All of the above is explained by this Post:


Also, a story has just surfaced that explains what Law-of-Zer0 peeps are TRULY LIKE. Please READ:

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