A letter to myself about 2017. Contest entry
This year, 2017, is one you will remember. How do I know? Because I'm the one writing your story.
You've always been a wordsmith. For as long as I can remember, you've weaved words as if it was your job. Words to help, words to hurt, words for any reason and any rhyme. Most people, even those who should've loved you most, went to great lengths to ridicule you and your words, so you felt like you had to hide them in endless notebooks.
After decades of hiding, you begin to share your words and wield them as God intended. You create books and stories and they pour from your hands and mind as if a dam has burst. Kind people continuously surface to help develop your words and channel them.
In 2017, finally, it was your time. You push the delete button on the recording that said you couldn't do it. Whenever doubt creeps in, you dig in your heels and write more fervently. Having taken several classes and completed numerous books, you begin to experience success in writing. It is small at first, but grows a little each time you put yourself out there. You persevere through rejections and continue editing and improving until someone shows interest in your book around the middle of the year! You are on your way to publishing and bringing joy into others. Oh, and you enter a record number of contests, some of which you do well in and some that others out shine you in. But you don't give up. You continue writing and editing and writing some more.
2017 is a year of growth in other areas, too. One child will become an adult late this year and allow you to remain a part of his life. You back off enough to allow him to grow and make good choices. Another child becomes a teenager, but this time you're ready. It's not a shock, or a tragedy. You embrace this new stage in your daughter's life and find ways to draw her in closer instead of letting her slip away. Your oldest decides that having you for a mother isn't the worst thing in the world and begins coming around regularly. Your youngest starts intermediate school and takes it by storm. Her strength and confidence continues to astound you in all that she does. She is able to resume competitive gymnastics and it seems her arm is stronger than ever.
This is the year that you deepen your relationship with God. You spend more time reading His words, listening for His voice, and following His lead. You let Him remove that which was not for you and to point you in directions you never considered. He pushes you outside your comfort zones and you allow Him to sculpt and direct you, even if you hold your breath while He works.
You lose a bit of weight,and gain some muscle, though it remains an uphill battle. You find ways to manage your time to include housekeeping, child rearing, work, writing, and time with God. It's a year you learn the art of balance. And though the scales tip occasionally, you recognize it and shift the balance when necessary.
You pay off those major bills and get finances under control. Somehow, you manage to put together that trip you want to take with your family. It's exactly what you need, so don't put it off too long. You grow your relationships and make some new friends. Some friendships fall away, as they often do and you have to let go. It isn't easy for you but you know in your heart that it sometimes happens.
It is a year of changes. Changes that both shock and delight, both unexpected and ones that you plan. It is a year of loss. You lose your fear of failing. Your perception that you are not enough. You finally, after more wasted years than you care to count, realize that your worth, your enoughness and your successes (or failures) are not based on others, but on you and your heart alone. You gain trust in others, trust in yourself and trust in God to take you where your path leads, even when you can't see where the next step will take you. Your heart's desires become reality and your joy is restored. This is the year that made you believe in yourself.
2017 isn't a perfect year, but it isn't the worst, either. There really are no perfect years. You enjoy love, laughter, friendship, friends, family, growth, and hope this year. So step out, be ready, there's so much in store for you. Nothing left to fear. And when you feel alone, just look forward and see me in the distance. Proof that you made it this far. See you on the other side.
Love and blessings,
Word Count 814