by Samira Marji
Love has no limits.I will support you silently and in my heart forever and always.
|To the woman who married my first love.
Let me just start off by letting you know that you must be one amazing woman.Im happy for you. You got him certain on one thing…you. Oh, how lost I had become driving away from his house that evening he told me that was the end of him and I. I was only a child when he slowly became my whole being.My mind soaking all of him like a sponge. His smile is truly to die for,the one he gives you a million times a day.I saw a picture of him today in a while since he walked away from me 2 years ago.He was out of sight out of mind for me.That was best,how could I look at my heart everyday without it beating to keep ME alive?.He was wearing a grey tuxedo holding you as you both smiled so purely into each other beyond return. You give him warmth and happiness. You feed his heart soothing notes of sweet,sweet love. You are nothing like me.Like no one he has ever stumbled upon.That is why he was so willing to let you be his whole life.He protects you and he always will. I have never met you and to be honest…I couldn't. I have seen the ugliest parts of him that he hasn't even begun to introduce to you.He never will,because I am one of them. He won't tell you about the big part I played in his life. Don't get upset when he remembers small things about me and his behavior changes for a few minutes.He is coping silently.He might shy away for a few hours,let him.That song that he always changes in the car and you catch on to it,let him change it every time.He doesn't want to replay moments that will feel so real.Those tattoos he has covering his body,love them. Don't ask him about the one covering his chest all the way to his heart. He will make a great excuse for it,believe him.Love our dog Ryder,he changed his life.You got someone that sure is a life changer. He makes a lot mistakes and some he will forget to tell you about,love him anyways.He loves you.You gave him his old self back.I didn't notice he was hurting.Im sorry i could not help him.I didn't notice I was letting him go by forgetting to love myself.I gave him all the material things but left out the heart.I was so young I thought that was happiness. I let him go that evening June 2nd at 6:36pm 2014.I knew that was the last time I would hug him.I didnt fight for him because he made up his mind.Those beautiful eyes were not mine for keeps anymore. I swear it was not easy.I couldn't sleep for weeks and Therapy quickly became 3 days a week for me.Love him forever and always.Love him for me,for all the woman who couldn't love him like you can now.Love him without knowing all of him because he gave it up and kept walking…for you.Let him love you for eternity because loving me was too hard.His heart is broken but you keep it safe.To the woman who married my first love because you will never hear about me.