I'm starting to hate me too.
|Monday January 8th
Wow, I'm a real dummy. I got this journal on boxing day and forgot about it til today. Noah would make fun of me so badly if he knew about it- I guess it's not manly to have a diary. Anyway, nothing special happened at school. Just the usual wishing I could leave, getting pushed against lockers...you know.
Wednesday January 10th
I told mom that today went well. She's always so concerned. In reality it was shit. Biology is the only class I actually like and the teacher wasn't there. We had some weird old dude fill in and we didn't do any work, the kids just goofed off. Jason and Dave didn't bother me though so I guess there's a silver lining. It's pretty fucked up that not being fucked over pushed around is something worth writing about.
Monday January 15th
Mondays always suck. Remember that Carpenter's song, what's it called? Rainy Days and Mondays? That song is pretty much an anthem for me. I went to Noah's place yesterday and his dad was out back shooting a bb gun at squirrels and birds. I hate that but I didn't wanna seem like a pussy so I watched Noah take a turn. I got to shoot too but I aimed away from the animals. His dad is a drunk. It's fucked up that he can wave around guns, even if they don't take real bullets.
Wednesday January 17th
Jason pushed me into the lockers and started calling me names. I didn't stay down and take it. I called him a piece of shit and he socked me in the face. I got a bloody nose and the people in the hall laughed. I skipped the rest of my classes.
Friday January 19th
Jason and Dave beat me and Noah up after school. I don't know why. Maybe I really am a loser.
Sunday January 21st
Noah invited me over again. Said his dad wanted to teach us how to really shoot. I wasn't feeling so good this morning but he convinced me to come anyway.
Monday January 22nd
I had a really hard time getting to class today. I've been having nightmares and they're getting worse.
Wednesday January 24th
Noah and I are magnets for Jason. He never leaves us alone. Why do so many people hate us?
Friday January 26th
I'm starting to hate me too.
Sunday January 28th
Mom is upset that I haven't left my room this weekend. Why does she care? I'm a fucking loser.
Thursday February 1st
Noah's dad doesn't just have bb guns, he's got shotguns and handguns. Here I was thinking he was some wannabe when he had real shit the whole time. He hides them in the basement but showed Noah after school. Who shows their kid that stuff? It'd be cool if my dad had some guns. Maybe I could kill everyone myself and make it all stop.
Friday February 2nd
I don't care about school anymore. Not even biology.
Sunday February 11th
I'm a pretty good shot. Better than Noah.
Wednesday February 14th
Valentine's day. Another reminder of how goddamn pathetic I am.
Wednesday February 21st
Everyone at this piece of shit school deserves to die.
Friday February 23rd
Wouldn't Jason and Dave be surprised if I pointed a gun in their faces? They would piss themselves and I'd make everyone watch.
Saturday March 3rd
Noah and I can sneak the guns out of his house. He's on board. Those fucking bitches don't know what's comin to them.
Sunday March 4th
Noah doesn't know I'll get him too. Stupid guy. He's making me into a murderer. He should die for that. If the death penalty was still a thing I know he'd get it. I think I'll start with his dad. He's a loser just like us.
Monday March 5th