1 There was a policeman from Chester A shop girl he often would pester So she took him to court Because she really thought He would either molest or arrest her. 2 A married young man from The States Went out on sly naughty dates When his lady found out She did not scream and shout But had sex with all of his mates. 3 A visitor over from France Asked a girl back home during a dance She said I would choose To politely refuse Cause you're rude and I can’t take the chance. 4 A buxom old woman named Sue Is known by most fellas in Crewe She used to be choosy But now she's just boozy And any male partner will do. 5 By a duck pond two men took a blond Hoping sexually she might respond She pulled down their Wranglers Then laughed at their danglers And pushed them both into the pond. 6 There once was a scarecrow named Ted Who had straw sticking out of his head A squirrel thought hey That will do for my drey So he took off Ted’s head for his bed. 7 A nice topless bather named Helen Was sitting down eating a melon I said “gis a bit” She said “melon or tit?” I leave you the outcome to dwell on. "gis": an English colloquial term for: give us/me. 8 For a dare Jane stripped off in the street Naked down from her head to her feet Because she was undressed The girls were not that impressed But it gave all the fellas a treat. |