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by Juls
Rated: E · Essay · Satire · #2117524
A magnificent character, in fact a very spicy character
A Spicy character - the one eyed spice merchant

Harrison Jones believes that spices are literally the spice of life, just by looking at him you would think that he sailed the seven seas to obtain his wide range of spices. He wore an eye patch where his left eye used to be. He sported a great big bushy dark moustache that he curled up as he walked with a slight limp that favoured his right foot. He had dark shiny brown eyes that had a slight twinkle in them, even more so at the very mentioning of spices at that point his expression would match that of a small child on Christmas morning. He wore rings on every second one of his short stubby fingers and he liked to wear big gold chains and he showed them off by wearing open necked silk shirts that also showed off his scary chest hair that seemed like some archaic thicket of madness threating to engulf those gold chains completely.

Indeed he was passionate about spices. Spices turn eating from a mere necessity of survival to an art form even just through appreciating the flavours and smells. He had plethora of spices available some were mainly for preserving, some were magnificent for cooking, with smells that would take hold in the back of your nose make your hairs on your back stand up as your stomach began to rumble, some spices created an aroma that would drive people so crazy while cooking that they would start grabbing food straight of the stove. Restaurants could not get enough of these kinds of spices as they would sell the sizzle before the stake so to speak and people would get drawn in to the establishments. Then there were spices that bring out aspects of the food and surprise people either by complimenting the food or by dancing, around your taste buds, or creating a pang at the back of the tongue that would make your juices flow yes indeed thought Harrison twirling his moustaches spices are the spice of life.
By looking at him you would have thought he had sailed the seven seas to obtain spices for you, you would not be too far from the truth though. There are not many places on this good earth that he had not travelled to in the pursuit of spices of all kinds. He had faced many dangers in the pursuit of rare and exotic spices still unheard of to many in the western world even in this day and age.
He had run from bandits on the Silk Road for days before he was saved by a friendly village that had been taking action against raiders in the area, only to be captured months later by an underground terrorist group. This is where he gained that nasty limp from being hung upside down by his feet, however the terrorist's food supply was waning and Harrison was eventually able to talk his way out of the situation with his silver tongue and a rather generous consignment of herbs and spices, of which he withdrew later on arrival in London.
He had crossed South America and even climbed the Andes after which he travelled back to Rio only to get abducted by cartels before he could reach the airport. They thought he was a big wig business man and took his eye out for sport because they were cruel men and stripped him of his gold rings; however he was rescued by his local guide who snuck him out of captivity as he still had to pay the man for his services. Harrison had been shipwrecked in the pacific and marooned on an island where he discovered a myriad of new herbs and spices that grew indigenously and immediately put them to use by hunting birds, fishing, using the spices to prepare delisouse meals.
His quest for more spices and spice related things took him all over the world, facing many dangers and surviving many adventures. Some say that it was fate that kept him alive so that he could continue to share the spice of life with others; others say that it was his all consuming passion that drove him to always find a way and never give up in the face of certain death at times. His critics would say that it was because of his silver tongue and slippery ways that he managed on so many occasions slip under the hand of death, but whoever you are you cannot deny that Harrison Jones is indeed a spicy character.

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