Not all promises are made to keep us safe from harm but it could keep us happy in death.
I walked silently passing through memorized halls. It has been two years but, she's not getting better. I abruptly turned and stopped at the sight of the door number.
I quickly twisted the knob but gently opened the door. It made a creaking sound as I widen its gap and went inside the room. The hospital walls staring back at me every time, those white paint and chipped or cracks were sneaking out at me. I breathed in and heard myself nervously walked deeper in the room.
And there she was, laying there perfectly still. Her chest rising and falling, and the loudness of her breathing only made her look very fragile. I walked two more steps forward, as she shifted her head still asleep.
I carefully sat down on the chair beside her bed. I examined her features and how angelic her face was. Even if she had lost some pounds, she still looked pretty. But for now, the important thing is that she looks alive. I love how her hazel brown hair always framed her face. And, her long curled eye lashes securing her eyes, her nose being cute and small, her lips almost shaped like a heart, and her cheeks pale but expressive.
I couldn't help but stare at her.
After seconds became minutes and turning into a hour looking at her and remembering our past, she finally woke up. Her eyes slowly fluttered open, revealing those ocean blue orbs. "Hey, how long have you been here?" She asked. Her voice was getting weaker after each word. "Just now, I guess. Doesn't matter anyway."
She flashed me her pearly whites at me making me fall even more. Then, we looked at each other enjoying the presence. All I could hear was the beeping sound of the machine and our breaths.
"Mikky," I started, "I love you." I kissed her forehead. She smiled but it was a bit different from the first one. Like she was hesitating. "I love you, too."
She took my hands and held them close to her chest. "Can you do me a favor?" All I want is what she wants. "Promise to do what I say..." All I could reply was a nod.
"Promise me you'll find another girl that will love you better as I could ever do. Promise you'll find that girl and love her like how you loved me. Promise me you'll stay with her. Promise me to find her and keep her healthy. Promise you'll die together," She cried. I couldn't believe what I just heard. She wants me to find another girl? So, she's breaking up with me?
"What about us?" I still had to search for the words to say. "There will always be an us, but I doubt that you'll even remember me." I stood up and shook my head. "No, that's not true." I walked around the room and tried to scratch my head for the reason why she said that. But she know me too well, my weakness is promising. I always, always fulfill my promise.
"Why are you doing this?" I sat back to the chair again, searching her face for answers."Douglas, it's because I love you too much to let you love me." She held my face as I let her wipe my tears.
"But you love me... if you love me then, you will let me love you," I looked at her eyes and pleaded for the answers I wanted. All she did was halfheartedly grinned at me and kissed my cheek. "You will thank me in the future, Doug. I promise you will."
And there she is, with her promise.
Just as I finally find some calmness in the atmosphere, the monitor made a screeching sound. I looked at her heart rate, "Oh no!" I turned my head back at her, she became really pale. "Mikky, no, wait!" I panicked and pressed the button. I cursed the nurse for leaving too far gone. As the doctors came in, they had to take me out.
I looked at her for the last glance, her hands didn't responded at the nurse anymore. I cried and shouted and just thrashed in the hall. I punched the walls again and again. Whatever I did, it can't bring her back from the dead. And yet, I can't afford to lose her.
I can never.
After 9 months...
They didn't let me back in after that day. I can still remember it clearly, her parents told me she passed away. I didn't want to believe them but, it was hard not to. I had days dreaming about her and feeling her with me still. In my dreams, it all felt real. Too real, to be honest.
Her parents didn't want me to be in her funeral, it was hard to accept their request but I had to. It felt like a dagger in my chest to never see her body get buried deep in the ground. All I did was collected her things at my house and buried them, as if it was her body. I only left a small piece of her with me, her notepad full of wishes that half never did came true.
Now, I walked pass the street we used to walk every morning. I examined the small stores and carts still there; and wondering if they ever miss her. This street weren't always crowded, that's why we love it here. Well, we used to.
I thought I got over her but, the thing about earthquakes, they come with aftershocks. As I was walking towards a bench on the sidewalk, I kicked a stray rock a bit hard. Without intention, I hurt someone.
Oh, man. She's a girl.
I ran to help her bruised foot, "Miss, I'm so sorry." I scratched my head and didn't want to look at her with embarrassment on my face.
That voice... No, it couldn't be. I gathered all the courage I could find and looked up and saw her face. I never I imagined seeing her again. But, is this really true?
"Ren? Garren Dades?" All I could see was her smile and how her eyes were as blue as I remembered them. "When?" I asked while my hands were no help in the moment. My hands just went flying in the air as I awkwardly stood, shifting my weight on my foot. "I mean, when did you came back from Australia? I thought you were staying there for good?"
This time she smiled without showing her teeth and looked down at her toes. She giggled a bit before looking up at me again, "Yeah, am staying there for good but that doesn't mean I can't visit this lovely place again." Her hands were clasped together behind her while she swayed her head a bit. "Umm... Got some place to go?" She asked without losing her smile and her eye contact. It was really hard to tell she was the same age as mine cause she has this height of about 5 flat and her cheeks were always flushed, like before. Even though her skin got a bit tanned but her pinkish cheeks never faded.
"Nah, just..." Then I remembered why I was walking here alone, "Just..."
Promise me you'll find another girl that will love you better as I could ever do.
Promise you'll find that girl and love her like how you loved me.
Promise me you'll stay with her.
Promise me to find her and keep her healthy.
"Earth to Douglas?"
Promise you'll die together.
"You free up until tonight?" I looked at her straight in her eyes. Then, her face went from Sun to Sirius A, real quick. It was amazing; how your heart could be jump-started by a smile from a half-known stranger from your past in a blink of an eye.
"Yeah. You askin' me out Douglas James Rigel?" Her voice were in a cheerful tone. Playfully, she stepped forward. "Why? Don't like it?" I, too, stepped forward. We were in a very close distance in a street full of space.
"I love it!" And I thought her smile couldn't get any wider, it widened up much more than I could imagine. It was funny and... cute.
"Shall we?" I bowed and gestured her to walk towards my right. "Yes, of course!" I stood straight and offered her my arm. She cheerfully took it and clung her arm on mine. "Lead the way!" She waved her hand forward as we marched down the street to a nearby Book Cafe.
And to be honest, it was really hard. It's cause Mikky's still inside of my heart. But nevertheless, a promise is a promise. Her death will never be in vain.
As Doug and Ren walked the street down to the Book Cafe, a girl that they passed by smiled. The pair didn't noticed recognized the girl as they passed her, but the girl surely did. She stopped and was a bit startled at what she had just saw. As she looked back at the pair continuing to walk their way to the Cafe happily, she beamed halfheartedly yet her eyes contained sadness. She quietly whispered, "You're welcome."