A grandfather's politico conversation with his 11 year old grand daughter.
| A Tale of Three Ugly Sisters and Donald Trump
Recently I had a conversation with my 11-year granddaughter. She was working on a homework
assignment for her social studies class. The teacher asked her students to interview the oldest
adult member in their home. The students were to ask the following questions;
What do you like about Donald Trump?
What do you dislike about Donald Trump?
How would you describe Donald Trump's character?
My granddaughter had pen and paper at the ready as she asked her first question.
"What do I like about Donald Trump?" I mused. I was tempted to say "Nothing!" But I knew my
granddaughter and her teacher were expecting a little something more profound.
"His hair!" I said, more enthusiastic than necessary. "I like his hair! It reminds me of an orange
football helmet! Cincinnati Bengals, I think. That's it!" I proclaimed. "From this day forward Trump
shall be known, far and wide, as Helmet Head."
My granddaughter giggled, but jotted down my answer. "Next question?" I asked, thinking my
previous answer had been rather clever. However, I could tell by the look on her face she was
hesitant about asking her next question. But she did.
"What do you dislike about Trump?" Pen at the ready to write what she knew would be longer
than my 'hair' answer. I didn't disappoint her.
"His total and complete lack of humility." I said emphatically. I wanted to add his lack of humanity,
but she asked "How do I spell humility?" before I could get humanity out of my mouth. I spelled
humility as I remembered it being spelled from my school days.
She immediately followed up with, "Okay! So, what does it mean?"
Hmm! I queried to myself. Definition of humility. I knew 'humble' wasn't the best answer as soon
as I said it. Thinking I was being clever I answered her question with a question.
"Do you know what it means to be arrogant?" I asked this wide eyed 11- year-old little girl, waiting
for further explanation of the word 'humble.' She surprised me with her answer.
"Sure. A person that's arrogant thinks they're smarter and better than everyone else. Just like
Barbie House in my class."
I was in awe of her definition. "Exactly! Excellent answer." I said. "Correct-a-mundo! You win the cigar!"
I exclaimed, hoping we'd move on to her next question. She didn't disappoint.
"Third question. How would you describe President-elect Donald Trump's character?"
Hmm! This wasn't a definition she was after. But more of a thought provoking summary of what this man,
ah, Helmet Head, was all about. "Aha! I've got it! Do you know the story of 'The Three Ugly Sisters'?"
She shook her head no, but she had a suspicious look of 'what kind of malarkey' am I going to tell her now.
"Is this a fairy tale?" she asked, staring at me as if she were much too old to listen to a child's fairy tale.
"Yes and no. The Three Ugly Sisters is more of a grown-up fairy tale. You'll like it. And it'll answer your
teacher's question about describing Trump's character. When I was your age, my teacher use to tell this
story to our class. It's tried and true." She nodded okay suspiciously.
"Once upon a time there were Three Ugly Sisters. Their names were Arrogance, Pretentious and Mendacity."
She interrupted, "Are these sisters as weird as their names?"
"Yeah, I suppose they are. Arrogance thinks she's better and smarter than everyone else. And she likes to
flaunt her nick-names ... Vanity and Hubris."
My cute granddaughter smugly commented, "Yep! Sounds like Barbie House, alright."
"Now, Pretentious is a phony. A chameleon, if there ever was one. She pretends to be something she's not.
Everyone knows she's a fraud, a real dyed-in-the wool fake. Pretentious likes her nick-name, too, because
it's uppity sounding. Artifice!"
My granddaughter giggled knowingly, "Barbie House, again!"
"The third sister, Mendacity, is a pathological liar. She can't help but lie about everyone and everything.
She has a couple of nick-names, too. Perfidy and The Prevaricator."
"Is she related to the Terminator?" She asked.
"I don't think so. But you never know."
"Are the sisters as ugly as their names?"
"I think they probably are."
"Are they real? Where did they live?"
"Oh, they're real, alright. And they live in the Land of the Free. But they aren't happy in the Land of the Free.
They want to change everything. And they want to be the boss. They want to be in-charge-of everything and
everyone. But to do this they need help from outside the Land of the Free. So, they contact their distant cousin
that lives in the Land of Guile. His name is Avarice. He's very greedy. And he's the boss of all the Land of Guile.
The three ugly sisters ask Avarice to help them become the boss of the Land of the Free. They're envious of
Avarice being the boss of all the Land of Guile. Avarice helps them devise a scheme for the Three Ugly Sisters
to become boss of all the Land of the Free."
"Grandpa. I like the story, but what does it have to do with Donald Trump?"
"Well, dear granddaughter, your assignment is for you to ask the oldest person in your home to describe Trump's
character, right?" She nodded yes. "Now, think about it. The three ugly sisters, Arrogance, Pretentious, Mendacity ...
don't their names describe what President-elect Donald Trump's character is all about?"
A long pause while she thought about the names of The Three Ugly Sisters. Then she smiled as the light bulb went
on over her head ... and she began scribbling furiously in her notebook. "I got it! I got it!" she giggled to herself.
Then, she stopped writing, looked at me curiously, and asked "How's the story end?"
I didn't have an ending, so I answered with a question. "How do you want it to end?"