Thinking back upon my life, I'm not sure how I got to where I am. For, most of my childhood was smothered in fear. Like the time my drunk father decided to shoot us all. Was it you who helped me hide in the darkness among the grass. Who I felt near me then and kept me out of sight? So the drunk man I call daddy did not end my life. Was it You who helped me press my little body flat against the dirt?
Kindergarten -oh what trying times. If Dad had a bad night, it was hard to leave Mom. I couldn't wait to get back home. I needed to be there to try to protect my mom! Though battered and bruised did You keep her alive? Even with blackened eyes, there was always a spark. Was that You, Shining out from deep in her heart?
When dad was giving my half brother a beating, and I tried to pull him off of him begging and crying. With my two small arms wrapped around his one arm, in one motion he tossed me. Across the room, I flew. Were you the one who made my flight seen like slow motion? Slamming against the wall where a picture hung before, as I hung there - my feet no longer touching the floor. Were You the one who kept the pain away? Was that You who made that nail miss my spine by less than one inch. And made my father get up and leave not saying a word?
I have felt You with me all of my life, even when, I was too young to understand it all. At age twelve my life took one heck of a blow for my dad had cancer. Because he called out to You and gave You his heart and he read Your words, and he got a fresh start.
On his death bed was the one and the only time he told me he loved me. At thirteen I couldn't help but wonder if it was him or the medicine talking. But, You never gave up on me. It took a year but, You softened my heart. You shaped, molded my heart to forgive my dad. Scars, they hold this ole' gal together like a patchwork quilt! Thank You, Lord!
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