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Rated: 13+ · Chapter · Action/Adventure · #2128516
Lesson 5, Vignette 4, Chapter 7 The Self Induced Crisis
What I Liked


*Thumbsup* Great, ominous description of 'The Devils Keep', and it sounds like a place I'd not like to visit any time soon:
Upon closer inspection the soaring stone buttresses were chiseled with the faces of Saints whose visages were contorted in agony and rage.

*Thumbsup* Good infusion of tension when Kindred almost drank the mind-robbing brew:
He was about to drink when Pandora took it from his hand and sniffed... then she touched her tongue to the liquid. She spat!
Also, it would seem no one could be trusted when Pandora refused any condiments with the food they purchased. Nice writing.

*Thumbsup* I liked Kindred's quick-thinking lines that saved their butts here:
"This is my retarded sister. She's delusional as well.

Parting Comments

Another entertaining tale in your Pandora Series. I am enjoying reading them. I'd rate this one higher with a minor edit.

STUPID

The Devil's Keep stood upon a high plateau. It had high walls and contained what looked like the spires of a great Cathedral. Upon closer inspection the soaring stone buttresses were chiseled with the faces of Saints whose visages were contorted in agony and rage. The central ediface was similar inside to a Cathedral with benches and a pulpuit at one end.

Kindred and Pandora, joined the throng flocking up the road and entering the gates that were thrown open. Along the road were stands offering drink to the thirsty. Servers stood behind, mute as if afraid to speak, handing out mugs and filling them with a sparkling liquid. Kindred took a cup and smiled at the downcast servant who filled it. He was about to drink when Pandora took it from his hand and sniffed... then she touched her tongue to the liquid. She spat! Turning to Kindred she said, "Don't drink of it... it's a mind-robbing brew made from Gilderbloom. It makes you feel good and clouds your judgement at the same time."

Further along they came to tables serving bread and Brots. Pandora took one. The servant offered some spicy spread and chopped onion and pickle relish. Pandora smiled and took one, declining the condiments. "The bfots are OK she whispered but not the toppings."

Kindred took a couple and began eating. The were quite good tasting even without the extras.

The line moved forward into the main sanctuary. It was filling up fast, and they took seat in a pew in the back. As they did the choir started singing praises to Monk Steven. He had the nickname of "Even Steven." After several verses Monk Steven ascended the pulpit, cleared his throat and began preaching.

Dearly beloved, it is with a glad heart that I welcome you here today on the first step of a journey into the rest of your life. I know how much you've suffered, both in your past lives and along the road to get here. Be advised that your trials and tribulations have come to an end and here you'll find peace and tranquillity.

Many of you are wretchedly poor and to you we offer food, drink, warm clothes and a bed to sleep on. Here you will find rest and escape from all the ill you've experienced.

Others had had a better means in life but still found the greed and rat race, too much to bear. For you is opportunity to share your hard work and creativity with those who were endowed by their creator with much less. You'll be redeemed by giving that they might receive some fair measure of the generosity you've known. Your joy will be extending a helping hand and uplifting the less fortunate onto the high and common plain we all share.

To the wise we extend a most heart felt welcome. To us Education is the highest calling and one that deserves a compensation equal to the precious nature of what teaching others entails. You will be well served by choosing to come here.

To those who have a knowledge and experience in Arms we extend another heartfelt welcome. The hope for tomorrow requires a vigilant defense against the greedy war mongers who seek to to maintain everyday men and women in a downtrodden state of servitude.

One for all and all for one is our motto. For those who bring wealth we ask that you deposit it in the Bank of Salvation where you can freely draw on your deposits at any time.....

"I OBJECT! I deposited all my wealth in Salvation Bank and my checks come back "Insufficient Funds." These lies are a bunch of BS....When do I get my money back?"

There was a murmuring.... Monk Stephen raised his hand....and motioned for the guards... Calm down everyone... the man is delusional.... nobody has taken his money, we are only protecting it until he responds to treatment.... Take him back to Remedial Education Class! Without fanfare the man was taken by two stalwart guards from out of the sanctuary.

Shall we continue....?

"Not so fast1" Pandora cried out... "There's nothing delusional about what he just said. He's the most sensible person I've met her yet. If anyone is delusional its you... "Even Steven," get real!" I don't know what you're angling for Monk Stephen, but what your preaching is nothing but a crock. What's wrong with you idiots? Were you born stupid? Don't you know a bunch of bull when you hear it? "All for one and one for all" anybody that believes that is totally loco. Where'd you get that Steven, in your dreams? Most of the "Wise Men" I ever listened to were a bunch of idiots! Couldn't get an honest job, if you ask me, so they go around running off at the mouth. As for soldiers, why not admit you're looking for is cannon fodder. Nobody with a coin in their purse and a marble in their heads would sign up for this nonsense. If someone did by mistake, they'd drop their platter on the floor, just like the poor man you had hauled out of here, and cry FRAUD!"

Pandora was just getting into it. Her righteous indignation was just beginning to find its stride when Kindred dragged her from the Pew....

"This is my retarded sister. She's delusional as well. I'm taking her back to Remedial Education Class. Escaped she did, only this morning, made her come in here to get out of the sun. Sorry for the interruption everyone... please continue Monk Stephen."

"What's gotten into you... are you totally daft....?

" Time somebody gave that MORON a lesson in common sense." She bit his hand, "Owwwww."

Still, he held it tight over her mouth, dragging her down the isle and out the door.

Several others, coming to their senses slunk from the pews and followed.






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