Rough relationship gets just a little rougher one night and secrets will be revealed
After work, I drove home looking forward to a nice quiet night. Then I opened the door and stepped inside my apartment. I was immediately struck by the very familiar aroma of pasta sauce cooking.
I am sure that I would have been a little scared and upset at the knowledge that someone had gotten in my home, but because of the pasta sauce, I knew that the intruder had to be no one else other that Tom. He always cooked us pasta after a fight, and I had not demanded his key back after our last one, last night. "Alright, Tom, where are you?" I called out realizing that there was a good chance that my quiet night just went out the window.
"Right here," the smooth sound of Tom's voice almost immediately answered. The voice that played havoc with my mind whenever we fought, and for many moments afterward. As he spoke he stepped out of my bedroom with an apron around his slim waist and a broom in one other. "Dinner should be ready in about 10 minutes."
"What are you doing here after last night? I was hoping that you had cooled down since last night." Tom answered and I heard the hurt in his voice. "Could we at least have dinner together? We do not have to talk about too much."
"I was hoping that you had cooled down," Tom answered and I heard the hurt in his voice. "Could we at least have dinner together?" he said as he set the broom down. "We do not have to talk about too much."
"First tell me what were you doing with a broom in my room?" I asked the aroma of his pasta sauce seemingly calming me down.
Tom's pasta dishes always seemed to me to be somewhat magical in the way they had an effect on me. As it was, I was already feeling that last night's argument was entirely my fault, and it was over such a stupid oversight by me. I should have told Tom about my brother being in town and exactly why I broke a date with him to meet my brother at a travel agency. Then it seems that Tom decided to do some shopping at the same strip mall where the travel agency was located. That was when he saw me with a guy that he did not know.
Because I had not come out to my family that I was in love with another man Tom never met anyone from my family, and no one from my family ever met Tom. So it was only natural for him to think the worst of what he saw. When I got home, that night he was already there fully ready to interrogate me. The interrogation turned into an argument about being open and honest with each other, not to mention my hesitancy about coming out to my parents and family and telling them about him, of course.
"How about you pick out the wine that would go best with dinner? You'll find about three bottles of Italian wine in the frig'."
"What about one of mine?"
"How about you providing the wine the next time you cook?"
"There going to be another dinner?"
"Let's get peacefully through this one first."
There was an edge to Tom's voice that I should have picked up on as I made my way over to the frig' and saw that Tom did manage to select a couple of good Italian table wines, and I selected the one best paired with spaghetti.
Dinner went very well and we were just starting to head over to the couch with the rest of our wine when Tom started, "Along with cooking dinner, I thought that I would clean up your apartment." Tom informed me.
"I need to ask you about some things that I found,catalogues" he said as he set his wine on the coffee table then stood up and started back towards my bedroom.
"What kind of things?" I called out and immediately felt myself grow nervous as I thought of all the transsexual and tracatalogs and magazines I believed I had carefully hidden away from Tom, in my closet. I sat down on the couch and then thought of the clothing, wigs, and such I thought I had carefully hidden away behind the locked drawers I had engineered around my bed that only I could open.
In a short time, Tom came back out, his hands loaded with the catalogs and magazines.
When he got to the coffee table in front of the couch, he carefully set them down. Then he sat down in the chair across from me.
"These kinds of things," was all that he answered as I tried reading the look on his face and his body language. I was sure that he was upset, seeing as how this was the second time I had not told him about something about myself. In contrast to his apparent openness with me, there was much I had not told him. That was basically what we had argued about the last night-each of us being open with each other. "What is all this about?"
"Just an idea I have been considering and exploring?" I answered simply.
"You been considering and exploring an idea of becoming a woman? If so tell me now because if I wanted to fall in love and make love with a woman, I would not have gotten the divorce."
"You would have divorced that ...... regardless who you shacked up with," I automatically responded in a self-defensive tone. "I just happened to be the one that gave you the desire and reason to do so. As for the reason why I have all that..." Tom cut me off.
"And I have not given you one bit of desire and reason to tell your family about us, or tell me about all this and just what are you exploring? At least with Marlene I knew where I really stood. Lately, I am not sure exactly where I stand with you. Why does everything with you must be a secret."
I could not find anything to say back to Tom as I finished my wine and set the glass on the coffee table. My mind trying to come up with a good, truthful explanation for everything he was accusing me of again. I had no defense tonight.
"It has nothing to do with us," I finally started.
"Everything has to do with us," he said in a raised voice that I knew reflected his frustration and anger. "If there is to be we are to continue seeing each other."
Tom was right. Tom was always right about the big issues.
I looked over at Tom as my mind went over last night's argument and the discussion we were having now, a discussion that was making me very uncomfortable in the way it seemed to be going. The way our relationship seemed to be going because of me. If I didn't start being as open with Tom as he was with me, I was sure I would lose the best thing that has happened to me in a long time.
"I...I was curious if I could pass as a drag queen," I finally said. "I...I thought I could earn a little extra money that way."
"You're kidding," Tom said as I saw the look of his anger and frustration start to melt away. Then it flared up again. "Just how far were you planning on exploring this drag queen side of you? Seeing other guys?"
"I...I'm really not sure," I answered. "There is something else that you need to see," I said and stood up. I then headed for the bedroom alone hoping that Tom would use the time to fully cool down.
As I stood beside the bed I pulled out my ring of keys and found the small key that would unlock the main door. I then knelt down and reached behind the head of the bed and unlocked the door closest to it. I figured that the contents of this one drawer would be enough.
Once the drawer was unlocked I opened it and pulled everything out and put the bra, panties, nylon stockings, leather girdle, blonde wig, and a little one piece black dress on the bed. I then locked up the door. I scooped up the clothes in my hands and headed back out to the couch.
As I made my way closer to the couch I saw Tom looking at me and what I was carrying.
"Is this the real reason why you haven't told your family about us? Is this the real reason for our recent run of arguments?"
"It might be," I answered sheepishly. "I am not really sure about all this, or how far I may be willing to take it, but I felt I had to pursue it a little before I could tell you, then tell my folks about us. That is if we were still together."
"So, you are telling me that all this is really about you testing your feelings for me and my feelings for you? Or is there something else?"
"No. There is nothing else. I thought I would first try it with you and see how you...See if you liked it."
"What if I do not like you being a drag queen?"
"Then I get rid of all this stuff, and I tell my family about us."
"You make arrangements to tell your parents tomorrow. Then you call me," Tom went on. "I'll cook up a meal for everyone." Tom then stood up. I thought he would make his way over to me but he didn't so I stood up. As I did he turned and headed towards the door.
"I better go now. Tomorrow you tell your parents about us, and no more secrets between us. Understood?"
"I understand, but when could I dress up for you?"
"Surprise me some night," Tom smiled and left.