Would Adele become a governess?
Life is Difficult
During a whole week, I tried to avoid Mme Neuville. Would she expel me? Was I to become a servant? It was ridiculous because I was an educated girl, and I spoke three languages, French, English and German. Maybe a governess then, even though I hated children.
In the meantime, uncanny incidents started to happen every time I spotted Neuville walking along one of our corridors. Every time I saw her I would hide in a cupboard, or I would simply change direction.
I remember how my heart beat too fast. I had palpitations in my chest that I thought I was going to faint.
At times, I would get dizzy, my vision would become blurry, and my thoughts would be like: "Oh my God I'm going to die."
Occasionally, I ran into the nearest lavatory because I didn't want anyone to perceive that I was in a panic. I was too proud, and I would rather die alone.
The worst was that my mouth went dry as if I hadn't any saliva at all, no matter how many gulps of water I drank. Then, I sat with my head hanging down hoping that the rush of blood to my brain would help me feel better, but usually I ended up collapsing on the floor, with the walls seeming to chase me.
The worst thing was that I just couldn't breathe. I prayed to all saints because I was too young to die, honestly.
But, that day I couldn't possibly avoid Madame as we bumped into each other.
"Oh, my dear Adele, I have been looking for you for so long, now, do you have some spare time to follow me to my office, please?"
Once in her office, I sat in the same armchair I had done one week ago, while she sat at her desk. We were going to discuss about my future.
I nearly went out of my mind when she suggested I could become a governess.
"But Madame, you certainly are not suggesting that I become a governess. There must be other options," I yelled. "Besides I am not fond of children."
"My poor Adele, you have no choice, you see."
I was even more outraged when I heard that Cathy's family wished to take on a French governess, and Madame thought I might be interested to take that position.
"That's out of the question,' I shouted, "I hate that girl, that little snob, that...."
"No. I refuse to become Cathy's younger sister's governess. Never!"
I closed my eyes to control myself, after all I was speaking to my headmistress.
"As I said you have few choices," she repeated coolheaded.
"Yes, you are right Madame, but I would rather die than work for Cathie's stuck-up family."
"I know, my dear, just calm down, meanwhile I will be thinking about other options. Life is full of surprises, you know. One shall never give up."
I calmed down.
"Yes, I agree," I finally said," "we must find a better solution, don't you think, Madame?"
"As said, life is full of surprises. Just have patience."