As I ran through the forest
trying to breathe I had only one thing on my mind; and that was Kyle.
towards a old rickety barn deep in the woods outside of town the same
place we had met. It was your average barn. Red with white trimming
and a big x on its large doors but time had abandoned it and left it
to rot. Its paint was peeled, and the wood seemed to be dying, the
window shutters squeaked as they swung back and forth in the wind. I
stood in front of it wondering what had drew me here in the first
place and thought warmly of Kyle's hand on my cheek and his smile
which gave me even more incentive to do what I came to do.
Kyle! Please come back to me! Don't let my father tare us farther
apart!"I yelled running into the barn opening the door wide
enough for me to fit through.
I gasped a bit as it took all of my strength to pry it open since
it had been in disuse for so long. When I did get through I looked
about for my dear Kyle in the dark surrounded by hay and the stale
smell of the barn.
did you come here?" I heard Kyle ask me as his silhouette
appeared a yard in front of me, the moon bright and full in front of
him letting me see only his back.
know me I never do as I'm told" I said smiling edging towards
of these days that's going to get you killed" He said in a kind
of distant tone.
looked down and fiddled with the ties of my petticoat and sadly said
"I don't care about dying"
I could even look up Kyle had me by the wrist his deep clear gray
eyes teary and his breath deep and cold with rage.
you ever say that!" He shouted in my face, his eyes sparked with
ember only out of the stir of emotions he was having.
you do love me after all" I said with satisfaction making him
drop my arms and briskly walk to the open glassless window of the
barn staring up at the moon.
do you take pleasure in making me act like a madman?" He asked
me while still looking out at the luminescent sky.
slowly walked towards his back playfully but fully aware of his
primal senses and wrapped my arms around him from behind feeling the
coldness of his body absorb the warmth of my touch as he took a deep
breath and relaxed.
only fair for you to feel the same way I do" I said gently to
him as he squeezed my hand.
I breathed in the smell of
the fresh rain and ripe peaches that Kyle always had as he turned and
know I'll never leave you. No matter how much your father hates me
or try's to destroy my name." Kyle said looking down at me
with love in his eyes.
know and that's the reason I'm here. I want to run away with you"
I said smiling and holding him close.
tensed and without even having to look at him I could tell he was
giving me a disapproving frown like he usually does when I say
something out of the ordinary.
I love you more than life, but I'm not real. Don't live in your
dream, it's no life I ever want you to lead Stella" He said
gently kissing me on the cheek as I slowly began to wake up.
"Rise and shine! Its morning time" Came the cheery
voice of my big brother as he threw a pillow at my head after
bouncing around on my bed.
ruined a perfectly good dream" I said groggily as I buried my
head in my pillow still feeling a bit of warmth on my cheek and
wondering what kind of dream I just had.
had one of your kinky dreams again huh? Want me to give you some
batteries and alone time?" Jason joked as I sat up and rolled my
eyes at him.
did I have a pervert like you living with me?" I asked him as I
yawned and stretched trying to wake up.
just smiled and opened my bedroom curtains revealing a bright
whiteness that made me squint and shake from cold as I slowly grew to
realize what it meant and Jason winked at me as I began to fully
a snowstorm! No school! No work! No life!" He squealed as I
jumped out of bed and hugged him jumping up and down in circles like
little kids on Christmas morning.
get me wrong I love my job. I work in a little shady cafe down the
street that is home to poets and the usual Goth melancholy crowd but
lately it has been draining me since I have to juggle that and going
what was your dream about that made you smile so much?"Jason
asked me when we sat down for breakfast.
always was the nosy type but had a good sense of the deeper meaning
in things so it would be good to tell him.
was about a guy named Kyle and we were totally in love" I said a
smile crossing my face as I felt a tingle on my cheek.
you really need a boyfriend."Jason said sipping some mint
I don't! He was wearing tights, and those weird tight old style
button jackets, with his hair all shaggy" I said trying to
remember what I watched before bed to see if it was the reason I had
he hot?"Jason asked with a raised eyebrow over him tea cup.
smiled shyly and said "yeah he was"
both paused a minute looking at each other and began to laugh the
whole time I was thinking to myself "what a great way to wake
That day we both decided to
stay home and since it was cold, I did what was natural, I took a
found myself crying walking fast with no direction in mind. My father
had said the most horrible thing to me that ran through my head with
every tear that fell from my face.
are a disgrace to me and this family! If it was my choice I would of
had another boy who would do as he was told and know his place in
this family! Sometimes I just wish you were never born!" Those
words will remain with me till my dying days.
worry father I'll make you proud."I said to myself looking at
the thick rope I was nervously twisting about as I looked around at
my surroundings and found a large barn in the distance.
I took a closer look at the barn, I found that the door was covered
with a large lock and chain, but luckily there was a opening large
enough for my frame. When I looked around it seemed that the barn had
been deserted and there was a large opening where a window should be.
There were stairs on the side that went up to a landing that had a
large beam across it.
I said walking to the stairs getting the rope ready fueling myself to
do my father's wishes for the first time in my life.
With every step the old wood
of the stairs seemed to creak "die already" I found myself
sweating but not afraid as I reached the landing and looked down. It
was obvious that at one point there was a loft attached to the stairs
but obviously they are gone now. I took deep breathes as I stood at
the edge and threw the rope around a beam that was above me.
one will find my body, and no one will care" I said to myself as
I tied a noose and put it around my neck securely.
looked up at the roof and spread my arms out as I lifted one leg out
and over the edge of the landing making it so all I had to do was
jump forward and it would all be over. I sighed and was surprised I
was not crying or scared.
should I care anymore?" I asked jumping forward as the barn door
was dangling in midair swinging to and fro grabbing at the noose
which was around my throat gasping for air as I felt my own body
weight pulling it tight around me. I looked down to see who had
interrupted me and found a young man standing underneath me. He had
bright green eyes, short blond hair, and a smirk of pure
sorry miss to interrupt but I do not permit suicide of young girls."
I heard him say as I slowly felt my body go numb and everything grow
I heard only one creak of the stairs and heard a sharp rip of my rope
as he threw a knife at it and jumped 10 feet off the landing to catch
me as I fell. I was coughing uncontrollably as I pushed the noose off
my neck gasping for air. I found myself shaking and my neck felt so
raw and cold. He held me still in his arms staring at me as if I was
a baby animal he had just lured to him.
you don't mind I would like for you to put me down and let me be on
my way" I told him between coughs.
laughed and gingerly put me down on my feet looking me up and
you " I said as I curtsied and fell down.
No wonder you can't even kill yourself correctly. You can't even
stand!" He laughed
looked at him as if he was a lunatic as my eyes began to adjust and
my sight was back. If he wasn't laughing at me so much I would of
found him to be handsome. That is if he wasn't laughing. He was
bent over still taking joy from my attempt as I tried to ignore him
and looked at the rope which he had cut.
I even die correctly?" I asked myself as I felt my eyes begin to
Oh what's wrong? You are too young to have any reason to want to end
your life before it has even begun" He said seriously.
looked up at him then stood up weakly and turned to leave. There was
no reason for me to stay and shame myself anymore.
me guess a boy? No wait you seem not to be so promiscuous; a man?
Your father perhaps?" He asked making me flinch when he said
so you're a daddy's girl. What did he do? Not give you the dress
you wanted so badly?" He mocked.
turned and looked him dead in the face angry that a total stranger
would think I was anything like the girls who care for nothing but
their pathetic looks.
will have you know that why I was here is none of your business, and
that you could accuse me of being so naive as to end my life for a
dress is not only rude, but unfounded, and stereotypical of girls my
age. Now if you will excuse me I will get off your property in peace"
I said annoyed turning again to leave.
"No don't leave!"
He yelled to me making me stop in my tracks.
should I not leave? Does my pain amuse you so much?" I asked
still upset with him.
am deeply sorry miss. I do not get many visitors and the fact my one
visitor I do get is trying to kill herself; well I find it deeply
ironic."He said with a smirk.
took a deep sigh and rolled my eyes as I walked back and sat down on
a dusty and somewhat moldy block of hay that was near the open window
name is Luke "He said bowing gracefully again.
what by chance would your name be?"He asked.
stood up modestly and curtsied again saying" I am Stella
I've heard of your family isn't your father a priest?" He
sat back down in a huff and nodded yes.
well now see why you wanted to hang yourself" He said quite
have no idea." I said as I quickly stood up after seeing an
insect try to crawl on my hand from inside the hay.
it true what they say about priest daughters?"He asked gliding
towards me with a come hither look in his eyes.
smiled at him sweetly and faced him eye to eye.
it is true. Any man who tries to touch us gets hell on earth" I
said surprised he didn't even flinch but instead stared off behind
should go your fathers looking for you" He said making me turn
to look behind me.
didn't hear anything" I said turning back to him but he was
stared up at Niceville High, a knot of worry settling in my stomach
as I considered another year of school stuck there. Not for the
first time, I wished I'd stayed at home in bed.
the thought of having more weird dreams about random guys got me out
of bed and of course seeing my best friend for the first time after
eight long weeks of being separated moved me forward, into the masses
of students reuniting after the summer holidays.
tried to tune out my chattering classmates as I searched over their
heads, looking for his face. It didn't take me long to spot
him towering over the rest of the crowd, and I wondered grumpily if
he'd grown again since I'd seen him last year. His gaze
searched the crowd too, scanning the faces of our peers, seeking
my arm over my head, I wished - not for the first time - that I
was taller than my five feet and four inches, and I grew increasingly
impatient as he continued to look in every direction but
what seemed like an age, his gaze finally fell on my waving arm, and
his face broke into a familiar grin. Striding through the
crowd, students stumbled hurriedly out of his way, clearing a pathway
between us. I returned his grin enthusiastically, throwing my
arms around his neck. Conner hugged my tightly, lifting my feet
off the ground and fighting laughter as I struggled against his bear
hug. After several long moments he released me, and I sucked in
air, wondering if he'd left bruises across my ribs--it wouldn't
be the first time. Leaning into him, I punched him lightly on
think you're ever leaving me again!" I pouted; putting on what I
imagined was my sternest voice. He laughed, ruffling my hair
with his hands.
take it up with Matthew next time he feels the need to go on an
overseas adventure with me in tow. You know what he's like,
love, there really wasn't any arguing with him once he'd made up
his mind about Europe," he chuckled again, apparently amused by the
pout on my face.
me with you next time then," I whined, glaring up at him, fuming.
"It's not like I wouldn't have gone with you, you could have at
least told me you were leaving. I almost died of boredom home
alone all summer!"
me back into a bear hug, Conner spoke into my ear: "Next time, I
him away I poked my tongue out insolently, but it wasn't long
before my cheeks tugged the corners of my mouth back into a smile; I
hadn't realized just how much I'd missed him.
I grinned, having gotten my way so easily. I wasn't really
mad at him anyway, not after I hadn't seen him for two long
months. Linking my arm with his, I dragged Conner through the
crowd and towards the school. I made it halfway there before I
saw him, standing alone by the huge double doors into the main foyer,
a piece of paper in one hand and a schoolbag in the other.
glanced around me and realized that I wasn't the only one who was
staring; we didn't get a lot of new students to our school.
Two girls I'd known since prep were whispering behind their hands
to each other, their eyes glued to this new addition to our peer
could certainly see what drew their stares along with the majority of
the other students standing around--he was unlike anyone I'd ever
seen in our tiny town; with skin the color of milk and dark hair that
was so perfectly messy it couldn't possibly be accidental. He
was tall and lean, on the verge of looking unhealthy, and dark,
bruise like semi-circles sat under his eyes, as if he hadn't slept
in weeks. His jaw was sharply angled, and his cheekbones were
high and obvious under his perfectly unblemished, pale, almost
of these things combined made him undeniably the most beautiful
person I had ever seen, and my breath caught as I surveyed his
elegant features. He stared across the student body with a
slight scowl marring his features, as if starting at a new school
felt a tugging at my sleeve and I dragged my gaze from his angelic
perfection to face Conner. I felt irritation cross my face but
quickly suppressed it at Conner's expression, his eyes tight as he
stared up at the new boy, his brow creased. I only had a moment
to wonder what the reason behind his stare was, before the first bell
rang, signaling five minutes until the start of classes.
arranging my features into a blank expression, I linked back up with
Conner and moved forwards past the whispering girls and their sullen
looking boyfriends, towards the main doors. Making sure not to
look at him, I strode past where the new boy stood and into the main
building, pulling Conner with me. As we walked through the
doors I couldn't help but wonder how this boy with his airbrushed
features would impact on life at Niceville High; it was obvious
already that the whole school would be talking about him.
to the notice board across the room I quickly checked my classes
against Conner's and was dismayed to find that we shared only two;
literature and history.
my feet I walked alone towards the science building for my physics
class, focusing on trying to recall Newton's Third Law and coming
at the cramped science room, I peered in to see my least favorite
teacher, Mr. Momohara, setting up what looked unmistakably like a
slideshow. A disappointed sigh escaped my lips, and I backed away
from the door, looking for any excuse not to enter the room.
several minutes of watching my classmates walk past me with identical
resigned expressions on their faces, I decided that I'd left it
long enough, and turned to drag myself into the classroom.
through the doorway I could almost feel the weight of the stares of
everyone in the room turned to watch me, and I felt hot blood rush to
my face. I stared at my feet, instantly regretting waiting so
long to go in. I made it halfway to my seat at the back of the
classroom before I realized I wasn't, in fact, the object of
everyone's attention. I turned where I stood to see the boy
from earlier standing in the doorway, the same bored expression he'd
had outside the school playing across his face as he looked briefly
over the classroom before turning to Mr Momohara, handing him a slip
Mr. DeNine," he said gruffly, his eyes passing over the boy and
stopping at his face, his expression slightly taken aback. "I
trust you have the necessary literature?" he asked, nodding
approvingly at the textbooks the boy pulled from his schoolbag.
"Take a seat wherever you like then, and let me know if you're
having any trouble with the coursework," he droned, turning his
attention to the roll on his desk and proceeding to bark each name
down the list.
that I was still standing staring at the new boy, I quickly moved to
take my seat at the back of the classroom. Pulling my books
from my bag, I answered my name as it was called, and waited as he
moved down the list towards the S's while I watched the new boy out
of the corner of my eye.
walked down the aisle to take the seat in front of mine, and I
couldn't control the feeling of disappointment as his eyes slid
over me without stopping. He sat down and I knew that I wasn't
the only person sneaking glances at him, waiting for Mr. Momohara to
read his name off the roll.
Suzie Ryan's name was read out, and silence fell as everyone in the
room listened for the first name of this mysterious
classroom was silent as everyone turned to stare at Sebastian,
fitting this name to the newest addition to our year level. He
looked up from his textbook, the bored expression never leaving his
he answered, in a voice like honey, and I couldn't stop myself from
gaping at the way that one word seemed to ring around the room.
I glanced around, and was relieved to see that I wasn't the only
one wide eyed and staring.
several seconds the classroom was silent, then Mr. Momohara called
out the next name on the roll, and the chatter of my classmates
started up again slowly, and within a minute it appeared that
everyone had forgotten about Sebastian. The only giveaway was
that every few minutes someone would turn in their chair unsubtly to
sneak a glance at him. I even saw Mr. Momohara staring at him a
few times, failing to keep the curiosity out of his expression.
stared at the back of Sebastian's head, rolling the name around
inside my own. Sebastian. I smiled to myself, nodding
mentally. He definitely looked like a Sebastian. For the
rest of the class I couldn't make myself concentrate on my physics
work, I just sat watching him, transfixed.
bell sounded for the end of the period and I gathered my things
together, taking my time as I watched Sebastian from the corner of my
eye, even pausing by the doorway, shamelessly pretending to search
through my bag for something. From the corner of my eye I saw
Brooke Dawson--one of the "popular" girls in our
grade--sauntering slowly up to his desk.
in front of him, she brushed a lock of blonde hair out of her eyes,
and I could barely suppress a chuckle as I watched her growing
impatience, the seconds ticking as he failed to acknowledging her.
Clearing her throat she rested her hands on her hips, annoyance
flitting across her perfectly balanced--and in my opinion, perfectly
he looked up at her, and I could see her quiet outrage as his bored
expression didn't change in response to her long legs and blonde
I help you?" he asked in that same honeyed tone, one eyebrow raised
now as he watched her from where he stood.
well, I just wanted to introduce myself, my name's Rachel, Rachel
Dawson," she said, her usually confident giggle coming out a
squeak. "Um, if you need someone to show you around or
anything..." she trailed off, her pale cheeks flushing as she
seemed to forget what it was she'd intended to say.
she said after a moment, staring at him for a second before turning
away. I watched her walk briskly past me out of the classroom
and this time didn't quite manage to suppress a laugh.
turned where he was standing to stare at me, and I was shocked by the
color of his eyes: a clear gray, quite unlike anything I'd ever
seen before. The corners of his mouth twitched up, and I found
myself returning his smile. He opened his mouth as if to say
something, but stopped, his eyes locked behind me, all traces of
laughter instantly gone from his face.
turned and saw Conner standing in the doorway. His face was
stormy as he stared back at Sebastian, his jaw set at right angles.
I looked from one to the other, confused at this mutual animosity.
I felt my face burning as they turned their stares on me; Conner
beckoning me to the doorway and Sebastian with an almost vacant
expression that I didn't understand.
pulled my schoolbag onto my back and hurried out the doorway after
Conner, forcing myself to not look back at Sebastian and his strange
I walked to the canteen with Conner, I could feel his gaze focused
intently on me. "What?" I snapped, feeling oddly on edge, trying
to get the image of Sebastian's staring eyes out of my mind.
you met the new student then?" Conner asked casually, casting a
quick glance behind us, back towards the classroom. Following
his gaze I saw Sebastian standing in the hallway, watching us, and a
shiver ran through my body. Something about his penetrating
gaze was really creepy.
exactly," I shrugged. "I haven't spoken to him or
anything. I saw him reject Rachel Dawson though," I grinned,
an image of her stricken face flashing through my mind. "What
was with look he was giving you, though?" I asked, tilting my head
to look at him. "I mean, you've never met him before, have
face gave nothing away, and he just shrugged his shoulders. "I
don't think so. He didn't seem very friendly though, did
he?" He laughed quietly; a strangely dark sound.
arrived at the large hall where the canteen was and moved to our
usual table next to the wall. I sat with my back to the rest of
the school as they took their own seats, and Conner dropped onto the
bench across the table from me. I looked around at the laughing
groups of our peers and smiled to myself; Conner was all the
friendship I needed.
familiar piercing giggle came from behind me, and I turned in my
seat, already dreading who I knew would be standing there.
Conner!" Amanda, Brooke's dim Best Friend for Life, grinned
toothily at Conner, ignoring me entirely.
Amanda," Conner replied, shifting uncomfortably in his seat under
her beaming gaze.
were your holidays?"
went to England with his big brother!" I enthusiastically
provided before Conner could so much as open his mouth.
Amanda's eyes darted to me momentarily before they settled back on
England? That's super interesting!" she bubbled, directing
her words to Conner as if he'd been the one to answer her
question. I watched her incredulously; amazed at the way her
painted red lips drew back over her teeth as she spoke in an
uninterrupted smile. "Anyway," she continued, barely
pausing for breath, "I'm throwing this huge party on Saturday,
and it'd be so super if you could come!"
that's really nice of you Amanda, but I've actually already made
plans with Stella for Saturday," Conner spluttered, his expression
Stella's totally invited too, of course," Amanda said, still
managing to ignore me. The pause before she'd answered was
barely noticeable, but her eyebrows had drawn slightly lower over her
eyes as she'd said it.
love to come!" I said, grinning at Conner across the table.
He stared back at me, his expression pained. Amanda pouted for
a moment at her conversation being interrupted a second time, but
then she grinned, apparently realizing that she'd gotten her
Umm, I'll see you on Saturday then! Bye Conner!" She
turned without a second glance at me, and I poked my tongue out at
her back as she ran off to join Brooke. Girls like Amanda were
the reason I'd hated the first seven years of my schooling.
Frizzy red hair and glasses hadn't exactly made me popular with
that crowd in primary school, and it only took a few people thinking
you were a weirdo and before long the whole grade thought so too.
In the past couple of years I'd swapped the glasses for contacts
and discovered the hair straightener, but by that point I think it
had been written too deeply into my genetic makeup to have any real
on the other hand, was an entirely different case. When I'd
first met him, he was a gangly twelve-year-old with acne and one of
the worst bowl-cuts I've ever seen. In the past five years,
he'd grown about a foot and filled out in the chest and shoulders.
He'd even found a decent hairdresser who'd managed to tame his
golden curls into something that seemed to make most girls swoon.
It didn't make any difference to me of course, he was still the
same gawky twelve year old in my eyes, but the rest of the girls in
our year seemed to have different ideas.
wasn't the only girl who'd been coming up to Conner and inviting
him to all kinds of things, but whether it was one-on-one movie dates
or crowded parties, his reply was always the same. I asked him
why he adamantly refused every girl who asked, even the ones who
weren't Barbie dolls, but he just said that he wasn't
interested. This answer always made me roll my eyes and insist
that he was a boy, so if a pretty girl asked him out then there was
no such thing as "not interested". But he just laughed and
said that one day I'd understand.
was far from laughing right now though; in fact he looked fairly
peeved. I just grinned, drawing my lips back over my teeth as
far as they'd go and batting my eyelashes at him in my best
imitation of Amanda. Apparently he didn't find it as funny as
you do that, Stella?"
she asked me so nicely and all, I just couldn't say no!"
snorted, rolling his eyes at me. "You know we have to
actually go now, don't you?"
was worth it," I replied defiantly, but already I was regretting
opening my mouth. Just the thought of going to one of Amanda's
parties was painful. A sudden idea popped into my head, and I
actually smiling? You've just doomed us both to a night in
Amanda's company, and you're smiling?"
wiped the smile off my face, knowing full well that Conner wouldn't
approve of the reason behind it.
come on, it'll be fun, just for the experience of it," I replied
lightly, trying to pull him out of his gloom. He was no fun to
be around like this.
shrugged, rolling my eyes at him. He could be such a drama
queen when it came to girls.