Odd notes for self-help book

(Started this in 2004) "Taught Crazy" Part 1

I was taught a lot of things growing up as a child in Brooklyn N.Y..Many of them were wrong though some were true & right.Some contradicted what I was taught by my Mother-Grandfather-Grandmother-not to mention my Aunts Uncles and cousins.Throw in a step-dad who was cool till he crossed lines w me that shouldn't have been... My journey began on a Christmas night in the early 1950's. In those days there was no internet or shows like Oprah- Rickie Lake or Jerry Springer. NO 1-800-helplines. No CNN or Twitter, Facebook. You get the point! People kept their secrets well hidden. It could be under the surface-still folks didn't want to be honest for the most part.Maybe they were just in denial or wanted to stay on that "Island of denial" They didn't like to expose their feelings (if they even were aware of them!)-say one thing yet mean another...Things were "Made nice" Like The Donna Reed show or My Three Sons. The fathers worked and moms stayed at home baking cookies. Family's had respect for one another and all problems were solved by caring Dad by the end of the show. It all seemed so simple yet I couldn't understand why my family was different from them. At both my Uncles house they seemed to be the most close to that type of reality. At my home it was a much different story.
My world was limited in many ways. Children weren't allowed over not even the couple of kids I saw in my building in passing ( A 4 floor walk up apt.) Come to think of it My cousins who were my age and nice never did come over. If we saw each other it was at their houses. Not very often either.If it wasn't for some visits I wouldn't really know I was part Jewish too.We had an aluminum Christmas tree and an electric Menorah! I was given up for adoption when I was 5,could still recall the winter night they came to get me as I screamed and cried"Please Mommy don't make me go away..." My Mother swore it wasn't for long & when they got rid of her breast tumor She would bring me home.When I left I had waist long blond hair,a year or so later I sat in a courtroom having my picture taken with very short hair. My mother telling me her lawyer would get me home again... To be continued.