by Eddie Lando
Girl Power! - WC 856
|Electra loved high school debate. She wore suits that accentuated her broad but slender shoulders and made her look like Hilary Clinton. Her dad let her stay up to watch James Carver on CNN when she couldn’t sleep. What she loved most was the power of the truth of argument. When she was right, she was right, and she would win. Which was the goal, right? She had 5 brothers who she competed with everyday of her childhood. Winning was everything in her house. And so she felt standing up at the podium on Saturday.
Her opponent was Alfie Moon, from Preparatory High School. He was smart, as he showed off with his thin, sharp angle glasses. He knew how to dig into his opponents and throw them off their game. But Electra knew that if she stuck to the facts, she’d win battles.
The debate topic: who will win: Conor McGregor or Floyd Mayweather? Electra was arguing for Floyd.
Electra’s opening statement laid out the stats. Floyd was 49-0 over 20 years against professional boxers, and this was a boxing match. Conor was 17-3 in the UFC. Record alone would prove Floyd victorious.
Alfie played to the crowd. People love heart, and Conor was all heart. He was all making things happen for himself with an unlimited supply of self-belief. “Don’t you want to be inspired?” Alfie asked the audience. Floyd was a bad man. He’d been arrested for domestic violence and charged a few times. But Conor was a hero. And didn’t people want to believe in heroes?
Electra’s rebuttal was simple. All she had to do was be realistic. She explained how technical boxing is and how good Floyd is at the technical aspects. Her points were airtight. Floyd may be a bad guy. But he was undefeated in boxing and one of the greatest of all time.
Alfie tried to fight reason with reason, but it wouldn’t work in this case. There just wasn’t enough evidence. He argued that Conor was undefeated standing up. That he came from a boxing background. Then he started to flounder. The truth is, boxing is 36 minutes while UFC is 25. And Conor had never fought more than 25 minutes in his life. So as much as people wanted to believe in Conor, it wouldn’t be so.
Concluding statements came. Alfie could feel the loss creeping up. He was sweating, watching his confident girl opponent stand proudly, preparing to throw the knock out punch. He knew she would go back to the facts and would win the day. He was desperate, and to win he had to break her in front of the crowd. So for his concluding statement, he went bully.
“How could a girl know anything about men’s boxing? I stand before you, a man, knowing that in every man, there is fight and the will to win, and the stronger the fight in the man, the more battles he will win. Conor is the better man and has the most fight in him. Facts are just facts. When you get in the ring, the bigger man always prevails.”
Electra could feel her dad and five brothers in the audience light up with rage. She could feel the sympathy coming from the judges. Here she was, a girl, being told she didn’t know anything about a men’s sport, by a man. And because of the society she lived in, they would concede to the bully just because that’s the way it had always been.
But not Electra.
She’d had 5 stupid boy brothers and one wise man of a dad get her here. She wore Hilary fucking Clinton shoulder pads. Bullies didn’t mean shit to her. So much so that she didn’t feel bad or even enraged. She simply smiled. She knew she could win this game. Bullies were just boys afraid of losing something. But in order to win the debate, she had to make a final statement.
“You know, Conor might win. It’s possible. And God knows as a champion of heroes, I want him to see an underdog take victory. That is the real truth that anything can happen, and that is why it’s fun and worth debating. But here’s the thing about Floyd being a bad man. He’s a bully. You watch his fights, he subtley polks, and polks, and polks. He’s always checking his opponents, always keeping them down at everything they want to do. Every move, he’s on top of, and that’s why he’s the winner he is. He always keeps his opponents down, and that works! No matter how much we underdogs try, no matter how oppressed the minority, the ones who keep pushing others down, win. In our society, bullies go 50-0. That’s why Floyd Money Mayweather will win on fight night.”
A somber mood fell over the debate room. Most people took a heavy heart. The judges bowed their heads in moments of reflection. But Electra smiled, shoulders back, confident in her victory. Electra had taken a bully from her subject matter and pitted him against the bully who she was debating. She didn't rely on sympathy. She did what it took to win the right way.
Electra focused on her brothers and father in the front row, because they were some of the few that were actually smiling back at her. She knew what she’d done. And she knew she’d won.
The Judges cast their votes. Each of the 3 held up a their nomination. Elektra was victorious.