My answer to a question, "What holds you back?"
Not knowing where this breaking free photo comes from, I use it with humble appreciation for all that it expresses.
WHAT HOLDS YOU BACK?
For me, the answer to this holding back question is held in my understanding of the back and forward movement of life and described best to a 'flip of a coin.' Â
On the one side of my life altering coin, a vibrancy that leaves no doubt to its value and worth. How easy to identify with this shiny, bright side during times when I recognize all of life's wonderful future possibilities. My mind is filled to the brim with untold initiative and insight to all aspects of life. It is during these times, despite well-understood limitations, I feel an overwhelming sense of joy with every waking moment. On this shiny side as I explore my gifts and talents and all that this life experience offers, without any doubt, I know if I but put my mind to it there is very little that I cannot achieve.
Now, on the flip side of this very same coin, you would find a fading image, worn down and difficult to read very much like a slowly aging body and less alert mind. With this dull side, comes the knowledge of the inevitable, filled with approaching moments of loss and slow fading of important memories. Although appreciative of so much throughout my journey, there still lies deep within, doubts of worth and value. When identifying with this side of life's coin, I begin to wonder if my dreams are perhaps a little too big and that I need to be more accepting of the reality of age and stage related limitations. Besides, what could I say or do for that matter, that would be of any interest to others?
Based on this coin theory, one side moves me forward making me readily available and willing to acknowledge and perhaps even share what has taken place throughout my life journey, at least for as long as I still have the time, energy and inclination to do so. When I focus on this sunny side, I feel inspired to write, filled with heartfelt ideas and gained insight to what has crossed my path. There seems to be no end to the learning opportunities for personal experiences. Â
Then again...that other dull, dark side so often holds me back, keeps me second guessing about anything that has taken place...after all, such an ordinary life, and really...how could I even imagine that what I have come to realize as personal wisdom is worthy of sharing. Â Â
What I conclude at this age and stage of life, is that my real identityÂ is somewhere in the middle and the time has come where I need to let go of any debilitating self-worth beliefs. It is time to polish up this dull side of the coin that identifies with thoughts of fear and sorrows from the long ago past. It is time to let go of unproductive thoughts of failures and future declining age. The time has come to replace this negative thinking with a new understanding, that with age, no matter the years, comes life-earned and learned wisdom...something of great value. Â Â
My intention to take more charge in the flipping of my life coin and pay more attention to the 'Synchronicity flow' in my life's journey is my attempt to polish up that fast- growing dulling mindset and truly live in love and peace of mind. I now know that I myself will gain great strides in self-worth while breaking free from what holds me back. I now, more than ever, appreciate and feel true joy for what has taken place from my past hold fast to the untold abundance of opportunities presented in the 'here and now' and for all of what is yet to come.
I have concluded that living free is a choice and I have chosen to break free. I will live, to the best of my ability, in my shiny, vibrant side... and when that coin flips, as it surely will, it will reveal a steady glow just beneath the surface demonstrating interest, value, and worth.Â
Quite the thought provoking question wouldn't you say? Â