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Rated: 13+ · Fiction · Comedy · #2138356
A sacrifice is made.
This is a parody piece written for the "Game of Thrones prompt "Pick a movie. Replace one of the main characters with an inanimate object. Write a scene that includes this character." For anyone not familiar with the musical/movie version of Les Misérables I advise that, for best reading experience, you watch this short clip from the movie.

Marius did not see the gun pointed at his face. Someone else did, though.
Marius looked up to find himself staring down the barrel of a rifle. He winced and closed his eyes, awaiting death.
There was a gunshot, and the sound of clay shattering. Marius looked down at his feet and screamed. How did she get here?
Red rage blurred his vision and he grabbed a powder keg and a torch.
"Back off, or I blow up the entire barricade!"
The man who had shot her laughed. "You'll kill yourself, you know."
Marius inched his torch closer to the powder keg. "Try me."
The soldier considered, then turned to the rest of his men.
Marius broke down in sobs as the men ran. Enjorlas came up behind him and took the torch. People shouted at him, some agreeing with his actions, some reprimanding his stupidity. He didn't care.
"Who brought her here?" he screamed. The men silenced.
"I said, who brought her here?" Marius loaded his pistol and waved it wildly. "I'll kill you all!"
It was none of them, Marius.
Marius turned around. "Who said that?"
"Marius, what are you talking about?" Enjorlas asked.
I did, Marius. At your feet.
Marius turned his attention to the broken piggy bank. "You? You can talk?"
Yes, Marius. I sensed your life was in danger, so I came.
"How?" The piggy bank was inanimate, as far as Marius was aware.
That's not important. Look inside me
Marius knelt and gingerly picked up the bank. Its side had taken the bullet, and change poured out. Grimacing, he reached inside the hole. Feeling paper, he withdrew it.
It's from... Cosette. She left it in me for you to find.
"Oh, Epopig! What have you done?"
Marius heard the bank whimper, somehow. Then, to his surprise, it began to sing.
Don't you fret, Monsieur Marius. I don't feel any pain. A little fall of change can hardly hurt me now. You're here, and that's all I need to know.
Marius cradled Epopig close to his chest.
And you will keep me safe, and you will keep me close, and change will make your fortune grow.
Overcome with emotion, Marius could only sing back to her.
"But you will live, dear Epopig. God above, if I could close your wounds with words of love."
Just hold me now, and let it be. Shelter me, comfort me.

Enjorlas stood, watching his friend cradle his broken piggy bank. Gavroche approached him from behind.
"Is he... alright?" he asked Enjorlas.
Marius began to sing, and Enjorlas blinked.
"I'm... not... sure."
Marius continued to sing, pausing to stroke the bank and speak loving words to it occasionally.
"And change... will make... my fortune..." Marius paused and blinked back tears.
Tears streaming, Marius kissed the piggy bank. Unsure of what to do, Enjorlas approached carefully. He patted Marius on the back. Marius turned and looked up at him.
"Her name was Epopig. Her life was cold and dark, yet she was unafraid. We will fight in her name."
Enjorlas nodded cautiously. Marius seemed at peace, yet he was still clutching the bank. Enjorlas motioned for two men to take the bank from him. They did so gingerly, treating it with all the respect of a dead body.
Marius stood, and Enjorlas hugged him. When they withdrew, Marius stared at him with tear-stained eyes. Enjorlas cleared his throat.
"Make sure, um, make sure you pick up the change."

WC 587

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