An email to a friend about a ridiculous dream involving his friendship.
So I found this meme the other day and decided to send it to you. Something about building a coaster in Roller Coaster Tycoon to send your customers flying off the rails, through the air, to crash and die in your competitor's park, thereby lowering their ratings. Sure we sent our customers flying off the rails, but into your competitor's park to die is really next level strategy, right?
Then last night I dreamed that you were really pissed at me for not being in touch in so long. You gave me an ultimatum, something like "old friends or new ones but you can't have both." Then you sent me all these selfies of yourself with black Sharpie marker drawn all over your bare chest and your bare feet, like the guy in Memento. And potato-quality blurry pics of your cats.
And I wanted to take it seriously because I care about our friendship, of course. But it was so hard because what I really wanted to do was make fun of the pictures you sent me by sending you my own selfies with Sharpie drawings all over MY chest and bare feet and blurry pics of MY cats. I woke up laughing.
We still friends?
Oh, I'm such a dumb ass. Don't tell anybody that doesn't already know.