Sana's been in-love with the same guy for 7 years and did anything to get Ross' attention.
Ross was into skateboarding and parkour. Lucky for me my uncle and cousin both skated so that worked in my favor but parkour was so intense at first to me. I didn't want to climb my school but Ross, Parker, and Austin talked me into doing it. The look on Ross' face when i climbed or jumped something was amazing. He was smiling and always told me good job. Something seemed to happen every few moths though. I would stop talking to him and just stay inside. One of our "friends" would always say i liked him or i was in love with him. They weren't wrong but still i didn't want him to know. We went through this every year as well but as time went on he would be into different things.
He taught me so many things that I remember to this day. So many experiences I can't forget...
One day I was either 12 or 13 we hung out alone. This time stuck out most to me. It started with us at my middle school on the swings something seemed off but I didn't ask. We had designated swings at this point. He played music and chased me around for about an hour before we went to the lake across the street from the school. We climbed the rocks most people were afraid of. We sat and talked for a few hours about meaningless things just laughing when his mom called saying to come home. As we were walking he played music and kept getting closer in my head I was hoping he'd kiss me. He got so close to me I could feel the warmth coming from his body and he was smiling at me I truly thought we'd kiss and w might have if his dad hadn't called him. I heard Ross mumble, "ruined the moment." under his breath before answering. His dad said he was on his way to get him from his mom's house so we walked home. That's when he told me he was moving..
The next weekend was horrible for me I knew i had to confess. Now or never right? No wrong. So wrong i can't describe it. The day before he left I went up to him and asked to talk. My ears were so red and I said it. Stuttering on every word. When he said, " I like you too" everything stopped and before it processed he was gone. far away for what i thought was forever. we rarely texted and if so not for long. It was almost as though we were strangers and I did everything in my will to forget this stranger. One night i had enough.. I texted him a long over-dramatic thing about how he lied he never liked me. How he said it just to make me feel better. He never replied and i deleted it. Praying he didn't see it.
A year later i got a text.. from him. saying he's home. He texted so happily i could barely recognize him.It was the day before Christmas eve so it was cold out. He said hes in his backyard and he said he'd ask me if i wanted to come but i was a little girl so i "wasn't" allowed. He was making jokes so I walked down to his house and we sat on the swing. We talked and that's when I realized I knew nothing about him besides basic things. I didn't know he drew or liked watching the stars. I apologized or everything including the message that he seen.. It was past three on Sunday so his dad would be there soon so i left.
Over the next year we hung out a few times then stopped. I thought i didn't have to worry because his step-dad lived at his old house..I wasn't plus he had gotten a girlfriend at his dad's. in spring I went to an amusement park with my sister and niece.and Ross and I were texting. He told me he was mad and when I asked why he told me his step dad was selling the house for his for good. I told we were going to hang out no matter what that day then. I don' know if its my bad timing or what but it was his last day. We got home around 8. I changed and we met on the block. We walked to my old school and waited for Parker. Parker i really couldn't stand. He is a family friend but he is so annoying and clingy. while Ross and I were waiting on a bench in front he asked if i believed in karma.. I said yes and then asked if it would be wrong if we kissed... I said yes, because he had a girlfriend. He kept asking and saying stuff like he'll never see me again though.. so i did it i let him kiss me. multiple times that night. Parker popped up and ruined it though. We went back to Ross' house and all hung out. Ross said he was cold so he pulled me over to the chair he was on got a blanket and we cuddled. Parker got quiet soon after though. He's dramatic so i didn't care much but Ross tried getting hi to talk. Parker left.
Ross asked to kiss again. i said yeah. we kissed and cuddled for a few hours then talked for a few more when i checked the time it was 5 a.m. He said his dad was on his way.. My heart shriveled.. this was really the last time i'd see him. I didn't cry, I couldn't cry. i felt that i should but i wasn't sad.. a voice in my head was saying. " Sana, this is your chance to get out of this thought process o being in love with the guy you can't have." I went home after that. he said he loved me and that was it.
The last time we talked was that day. I'm still not sad and i don't regret anything either. It clearly wasn't meant to be as every time we got close there was an interruption. He's still with his girlfriend and i'm still living my life. I have given up on the thought of us together and i'm happy now even though he'll be apart of me in some ways they are good ways and I never got to tell him how thankful of that I am.