Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/2142766-Officials-from-WHO
by Jules
Rated: E · Fiction · Comedy · #2142766
Political satire. Comedy. Humor. Attempt at.
Officials from WHO, The World Health Organization have been tracking a virulent virus, known as Russiahassuccessfullyscrewedus, commonly referred to as RHSSU.

After analyzing the DNA of the virus, it appears to have originated behind the closed doors of the Kremlin. It’s most frightening symptom is the glazing over of eyes as American Intelligence officials report how dangerous the Russians currently are to American Democracy.

The virus appears to have evolved into two slightly molecularly different strands.

RHSS1.1 has a unique symptom, having evolved into a path-o-gin whose victims simply cannot behold what has happened and begin chronically drinking gin.

RHSS1.2 evolved into an infectious a-gent, which appears to be orange and is particularly virulent. Officials believe the only way of stopping this infectious a-gent is by securing a sturdy cell for it.

RHSS1.2 can at times mount an immune response that releases a flood of white KKK cells.

There are no effective anti-viral drugs to defeat it. And no effective vaccinations, though the viruses do appear to become latent and inactive when faced with common sense.

It is believed these viruses may have been intentionally developed with the goal of leaving the U.S. in complete chaos, unable to recognize B.S, even when it’s directly in their face.

Officials are monitoring the situation, but fear we may be facing a worldwide pandemic on the loose as this virus spreads.
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