an Ex who wouldn’t love me for me.
|For months I played puppet.
Changing and admitting defeat.
To be the reason someone else realises it is wrong to try own someone.
If I were to become that monster, nobody would ever love me.
You never let me have any fun.
I tried to fight your ownership over me but it was too strong.
Your harsh words of "nobody else ever loved you before me" and "I only do it because I love you".
Well what about now?
To be a marine biologist, would have been quite an adventure.
But then again if I was to have done that college course against your will what kind of adventure would it have been.
To live so far away, to be surrounded by new people, boys and girls.
What an adventure indeed.
But therefore, that would mean you following me. Getting a job there if you had the strength to work after stalking me all day.
All to keep an eye on me.
To deny me the right of having a single friend.
To deny me the right to have time with my family.
To deny me the right of having a life or freedom.
The new love of your life.
She has the right of friends and family and life.
I wonder why, what makes her so special.
Why was nothing I ever did, enough for you dearest Aaron?
Why were my pleas for freedom denied by you only to result in you telling me it's all because you love me.
Why couldn't I be trusted?
What was so wrong with me that you felt the need to watch my every step, my every move, every breath I took, you knew about it.
Why did you need to know if I moved a muscle?! Why did you need to know if I changed the channel because of what were you afraid in case someone would climb from the screen and save me from you. No. Because the only time someone climbed from a screen was a horror movie. But any horror movie was better than the horror I lived through with you!
Why was reading my favourite book a sin to you? So much you took it from me?
Were you afraid in case Mitch album would steal me from you?
Why must I have been ruined by you? Couldn't you hear my pleas for help or freedom?
Couldn't you hear me beg for time, begging for my life back,
Couldn't you hear me beg to be me again.
Why was every move I made, every step I took so dreadfully wrong in your eyes?
Why wasn't I enough?