A New Book on Marriage Relationship
Flowing from ‘Day Five’, we shall swim around letter ‘H’ of the DASYN HUB. ‘H’ stands for ‘Harried.’ The harried husband has the following character traits: • Agitated by the many anticipated worries. • Very demanding. • Inconsiderate. • Possesses nuisance value. • Troubleshooter. • Restless. • Fastidious. • Does not pay attention to details. • Lacks a functioning conscience. • Manipulates the wife to get whatever he wants. • Superficial. • Ego-centric. • Lacks empathy and • Practices punching with the wife
A harried husband is always agitated and worried about the wife. Thus, he is ever demanding of the wife; very inconsiderate, makes himself a nuisance value, restless and fastidious. He is a troubleshooter because of the blood of war rushing in his veins. He does not pay attention to detail for his lack of functioning conscience. He uses his vantage position to manipulate the wife to get whatever he wants. He is superficial and ego-centric, lacking empathy in the issues of emotional intelligence. The most detestable part is that he makes his wife a punching bag.
Harried husbands depend on the wives for sustenance. They superficially love their wives but misuse the money and other resources of their wives, and even cheat on them with other women. There was this story of a wife resident in Port Harcourt, a city in Nigeria, who did all she could to keep her husband, but he wickedly assassinated her in 2003 just to possess her wealth. Unfortunately for him, the law caught up with him, and he is presently cooling off his heels in the prisons. The husbands in this category do not show initiative, genuine love, and do not help their wives even with household responsibilities.
Harried husbands have no quality time for fun. They are stingy and do not consider the emotions of their wives. They do not like putting energy in the relationship to make it enjoyable, and in most cases, they do not have any sense of humor. They hardly give room to accommodate the emotions of their wives, and are barely romantic to entrench any deep intimacy, but are always very serious. I have found myself under this category in some respects. Before now, I had been too serious, knew next to nothing about the need for humor and created not enough time for connecting with the lighter, humorous side of my wife. In fact, in 2005, a security officer at Abertay University, Scotland had said to one of my supervisors that I have no life outside of academics. He said he was sorry for my family because I confronted him for asking me to close from studies by 9 p.m. I had earlier enquired if he thought I was in that part of the world to play around. Thanks to knowledge!