Life as a book-scout, isn't all champagne parties, and caviar dreams...
| Hung my article on the wall today, a mile-mark in my writing career. Verily my first published work, although I did not make any money for this piece, it was a big achievement for me. I had not thought of writing until after my failed work for somebody else's career... Never a good job that; I mean, working for someone else. It was all that I knew, in fact I got to be good at it before finally giving up, and searching out a different livelihood.
The funny part of this personal awakening is that I made my first attempt at self employment a book related thing. I am a hobby book scout, and that's how it all started. While hanging the, now framed, article I did some thought exercises. I thought about how the work came to be an accomplishment, and other pertinent things, but I did not at the time think about what has been bothering me all of my life. Why was I not open to free enterprise, and creative followings, sooner, where was my mind?
Part of the reason I did not think about it was the mere fact that I had wasted so much precious time trying to figure out where to go with my life. Well I am not going to dwell on that question any longer, and it would probably not clear itself up. So until an answer presents itself I am a writer. The book scout thing was an answer, it did not go far but, given time and motivation it probably would have panned out. It was, however a very interesting hobby. At the time it was my full time job. The idea is to get books. You my find them at yard sales, second hand shops, even other book stores. As long as your making more money for the book than whatever you've invested, you win, and your book scout business is a success.
I could not hang in that business, not for any weakness on my own part, I had a familial emergency, and this was not one of those help out for a couple of days or weeks kind of emergencies. I literally had to drop everything, and pop on a plane to help out the family for a couple of years. It was very fortuitous that this all happened, because while my life was taken up with doing things for others, a job I would not voluntarily commit to, I had plenty of time to think about... you guessed it; Where to go with my life! Should that question be in quotes? Yeah, you betcha. It should be in lights, literally anybody that does not have an answer for that one should be drawn and quartered... Ha, ha, ha just kidding, really I'm not.
This life, despite everybody saying so, really does flash by in an instant. Catch that sarcasm? Well I'm not being funny here, primarily because when I'm asking myself; “What should I do with my life?” I am playing a kind of a game with myself... There is not necessarily a good answer, and you want the best answer to a question like that.
Try it, go ahead ask yourself; “Should I be a bus driver... A cab owner, a sky dive instructor? The list goes on and on. None of the answers is really the best, I know, my first answer was to become an artist. Really the very worst answer, and the reason for that is so is much more complicated than you know. Suffice it to say, all the answers are so bad because there is no way to know if you are going to be able to support a lifestyle in those, or any number of other careers that exist in the world.
Yeah I know what I am going to do with my life. I am going to write, and I am going to be successful at it. But if you ask me, I did a lot of very hard work at doing other things, and I cannot always justify not knowing the answer to life's little questions as justification for career moves. I lucked out with this one, and I still feel a little burned by the fact that I had not had it as a clear choice in life. I will, however, just this once, say that I am thankful for figuring this one out. Some people are not cut out to write, but I am quite certain that I would not want to live in their world anyway.