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Rated: E · Outline · Comedy · #2145729
A possible series of short stories
These are outline notes for a series of short stories I am considering.

William Fyfe-Hamilton Bishopp is the Vicar of the Church of All Saints in Bishopps Crook. Bishopps Crook is a small seaside town somewhere on the South coast, and the Bishopp family owned much of the land in the area. William's elder brother Chadwick is the present Lord Bishopp, and lives in the magnificent Manor House, set in it's own land, a little outside of town.

Billy is a cross between James Bond, and Freddy Mercury of Queen fame. He is a former secret agent, and a keen dangerous sportsman. Quite frequently he takes little active part in the stories, only perhaps appearing at the end to save the day, and to perform in the church hall.

Like the children's programmes Trumpton, Camberwick Green etc. the stories are always rounded off with a musical piece, in the church hall. Billy and his fellow priests, curate and Wardens perform dressed according to the music they are playing, as do the little old men and women who make up the majority of the congregation.

Billy has a triangular body shape, with wide shoulders and a narrow waist. His face is based on Freddy Mercury, but bald. Has the Mercury moustache. Plays lead guitar, sings and plays the saxophone.

Father Nicholas Wynterbourne plays drums, bells and percussion instruments. Father Nick is quite possibly Father Christmas and looks a lot like the conventional descriptions of Santa. He is quite mysterious at times. He loves to perform magic tricks, and is a member of the magic circle, but sometimes his magic is not easily explained.

Father Colin Tunstall plays keyboards. He is usually paired with his partner Simon Fenton. They are chirpy, friendly and based a little on the 'Nice and Tidy' characters on Vivian Stanshall's Rawlinson's End. Simon is a backing singer, but at least on one occasion he should do a Phil Collins or Paul McCartney video trick appearing in several different costumes accompanying himself.

Father Roderick Bell is a bit of a Lothario, and lusts after a member of the congregation Guinivere. He plays rhythm guitar. There will be bell references used about him, one peculiar visual, a leg shake whenever he thinks of Guinevere, (bells ring when his leg shakes – bells on his toes!) Roderick is an ornithologist (Bird watcher!)

Father Stan is a small bespectacled and is passionate about his collection of flasks. He also likes traffic jams, and will discourse about them if he can. His look is based on the neck less bespectacled kid in the Bash Street Kids, (Herbert).

Judith is the Curate. She is often being referred to as being absent, having been summoned by the bishop to some named seaside resort. (e.g. “Where's Judith?” “Summoned by the bishop to Brighton.” Judith has a catchphrase “I hope it's not going to be like that unfortunate incident when....” Voice and attitude loosely based on Sue from Sooty and Sweep.

Da Wardens. The Church Wardens are Zachariah and Zebedee Smith. The favour dark sunglasses, bling and attitude.

Olga Vodkantonivich is the church organist. She is also a Russian spy. Billy 'seems' unaware of this. Olga's contact, who visits her occasionally, is Ivan Poppov. Her church organ rises up like an old cinema organ, and also converts into a high powered radio – to contact her spymaster in Moscow.

Guinevere is a young woman in the congregation. She runs the babies and toddlers group, the Sunday School, and has two small children of her own.

Wilf is an old man, he is ex army and smartly dressed with a cap. Based visually on the picture from 'Bundles' by Soft Machine.

Mrs. Prufrock is a formidable woman – an organiser of jumble sales and runs the Mother's Union.

Miss Gamble is an elderly spinster, she is sprightly and flirty, especially with Wilf.

At the end of each program we see the words “We will return in...” and the name of the next episode, this is a nod to the earlier Bond films.

The lady at the post office/general store is Miss Penny Money.

Any repairman who appears in an episode has a name beginning with 'Q'.

Episode names

The Case of the Missing Missal

The Case of the Exorcise Bike

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