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Printed from https://www.Writing.Com/view/2146868
by TJ
Rated: E · Prose · Comedy · #2146868
Some years ago, whilst home alone, I decided to fry myself an egg. No biggy, right?
I remember watching a cooking show, in which some guy fried an egg really fast. Took him I dunno, mebbe ten seconds. Impressed the hell outa me! Ergo, I figured, if he could do it .. then so could I. How hard could it be, eh? Meanwhile, the wife was on vacation in Florida at the time, which turned out to be a very good thing!

I call it:

"FRIED EGG A LA TJ" *Shock2*

*Take one medium frying pan
*Fill frying pan with cooking oil to an approximate depth of three-quarters of an inch
*Warm up on high for 15 minutes
*When the oil looks and sounds a little erm ... bubbly, take one egg, crack open and empty contents into the pan.
*While trying to avoid third degree burns from exploding hot oil, take one plastic spatula and attempt to remove egg (It will be done in 3 seconds. Overdone in 4)
*As the pan catches fire, and your spatula begins to melt ... take one household dry chemical fire extinguisher
*Pull safety pin
*Squeeze lever while aiming at the base of the flame with a sweeping motion until fire is extinguished
*Discard empty fire extinguisher
*Using hand protection, remove pan from burner
*Turn off stove and smoke alarms
*Open all doors and windows
*Discard molten spatula
*Discard former frying pan
*Discard former egg
*Find and console kitty-cats
*Make bologna sandwich (untoasted)
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Printed from https://www.Writing.Com/view/2146868