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Rated: E · Poetry · Personal · #2148730
This poem was born during a PTSD episode as I was driving. Something I go through a lot!
In My World of PTSD

Driving in my car
Not feelin' so right
'I know it's not far',
I think, as I fight

Battle within myself
This horrible war
Where the world stands still
And my thoughts explore

"What am I doin right now"
I quickly scold myself
This blurring fear I have
"Put those feelins' on the shelf"

As I come to a stop
At the traffic light
My eyes wander around
And OH what a sight

In the rearview mirror
I watch a huge cloud of smoke
Then I realize he's vaping
I hope he doesn't choke

My eyes wander to the left
I watch her snap her gum
Popping bubble after bubble
Makes me kinda want some

The person on my right
Busy chatting on their phone
Really loud on a speaker
In an impatient tone

Finally I look
Directly ahead
They sit there in silence
As the light is stuck on red

Every day people
In an everyday life
Just waiting to move ahead
Without all the strife

My car begins to go
As the light now is green
Thoughts slowly flow through my head
Like in an eerie movie scene

It's almost like on Facebook
These visions in my head
I can click, Swype and drag
When not hanging on by a thread
Quickly my thoughts bail
Without saying their goodbyes
My body begins to tremble
As do my eyes

My breath quickly hastens
Brightness all around
My heart races even faster
As the world turns upside down

Overwhelmed by the sky
Panic becomes my foe
My eyes begin to sting
I catch the tears before they flow

I reach out for thoughts and visions
Hope they'll be abound
For my mind is better when I'm thinking
Rather than me screaming without sound

Almost just like magic
Everything turns upright
I see the world in a safer way
And in a much better sight

I make it to my destination
I'm most definitely in one piece
But there's still a tiny part in me
That doesn't want to cease

I now have a passenger
One of whom I really trust
Every negative and uneasy feeling
Has turned right into dust

In the complex mind of a person
A person such as me
You can surely expect
That it's all due to PTSD

© Copyright 2018 Rebecca Jeanine (rebeccajean71 at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
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Printed from https://www.Writing.Com/view/2148730