There is more than meets the eyes. Credit songs: Starlet - My Demons
I have always pondered on a thought that haunts my mind; what would become of someone if they are pushed to their breaking point? This question is constantly flowing through my mind. Unfortunately, I never thought that I would have payed that price. I've been push to MY breaking point, and the pain, the anger is sucking me in a dark void. Never to escape from my demons. Why... Why am I a failure in life? No one knows the pain I am going through. I'm a disappointment, a nobody. I'm just some stranger who should just cease to exist. Hell, I even wonder why was I even born.
Came the thought that ran through my mind, as I stood--naked and alone in the bathroom--phone dangling loosely in my hand. I launch open Youtube and head to my favorites, playing the song "My Demons," by Starsets without even a glance. Placing the phone down on the counter, I sighed and stepped into the burning rain, closing the shower curtain behind me... Hiding away from existence. The sound of the violin and guitar filled the air and sang the chorus:
I cannot stop this
Sickness taking over.
It takes control and
Drags me into nowhere.
I need your help.
I can't fight this forever.
I know you're watching,
I can feel you out there!
"Save me if I become... My demons..." I whispered under the song, and ran my hands through my body--staring at the visible scars that tells the story of my pain. 'You don't deserve to be saved...' whispered the voice in my head, 'Your pathetic...' Stop... Please stop...
"ENOUGH!!!" I screamed, gripping my hair before collapsing under the weight of my chains and broke down in salty hate. For someone in my position there are a few stages that we go through. Stage one is pleading--begging for the voice in the head to leave you alone.
Ah see? The next stage is anger. In this stage, any little thing could set me off and it wouldn't even be anyone's fault. But my own. I had lost control over my anger more than once, and every single one came with a price. A big price. Sometimes, the voice in my head would manipulate me into thinking that I have full control. But it lies.
"Charlie?" came a women's voice that rang behind the closed door, snapping me out of my thoughts. Lisa Greywood, she was my girlfriend of 5 years. God, she was such a beauty; with her golden auburn hair that glows under the sun, skin kissed by said sun, with these gorgeous light chocolate eyes. Her voice rang through the bathroom--even when the music blocked out all sounds, and it was filled with concern, "Is everything okay?"
"Yes, love." I didn't like it when she worries. It breaks my heart when I lie to her...But I can't let Lisa know about HER. If SHE gets out, the people that I love could be in danger. Lisa could be in danger. I need to keep HER in control. I could hear Lisa sigh behind the wall in sadness and muttered "Okay," before I heard her footsteps disappear behind the bathroom door. I sighed and thought, 'I should get out.' I shut off the water, opened the shower curtains--bringing myself back to reality and releasing a sigh again.
'Oh what's with the pouty face, hmm?' whispered a chilling, echo-like voice that rings through my head. Fear flooded me, as I knew exactly where that freaky voice came from.
"You..." I shuttered, and without warning my view shot to the mirror. In the mirror, I could see my reflection--black hair soaked and attach to my pale skin, but a smirk was plastered on my reflections face.
Her mouth open and spoke in her echo like voice, "What's the matter? Cat got your tongue?" before laughter filled the bathroom.
"WHAT DO YOU WANT!!!" I screeched fearfully, and without warning--the mirror shattered and my right hand was covered in blood. I blink out of my daze, pulled my hand back away from the broken mirror and watch the blood dripped down my fingers.
"Memorizing, isn't it..." echoed the voice in my ears before continuing, "Imagine watching the blood spill from someone else? Like Lisa?"
"Lisa..." I whispered before I snapped out of my daze, 'IF YOU TOUCH HER, I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL KILL MYSELF!' I screamed at the voice before laughter filled my head, causing me to grip my head from the excruciating pain.
"You? Kill ME?" question the voice before she continues laughing. A force gripped my shoulders, knocking me down to the floor to my knees.
"How can you kill something, when you know deep down that you want it~" A static like sound ring through my ears, blocking out the screams that fill the air. Hysterical knocking bang against the door and Lisa's voice yelled behind the door.
"R-RU-RUN!!!" I screamed in pain and banged my head against the wall, trying to stop the pain.
"OH! I forgot to mention the different stages, didn't I?" purred the voice and chuckle, "Well the first two stages are not important, it's the last stage that will put everything in motion. A psychotic break."
"N-no" I whimpered, "Please... Stop..."
"Why?" the voice asked. "I'm dying to untangle and release a bit of mayhem."
"Besides...A little mayhem never hurts, right."