by Chef Juan
Late night reflections of the effects on other people.
|She confuses me. I wonder what the basis is for our relationship. Is she really my friend. I don't know. Are we friends when she needs me? Needs me for the things I can do for her. That is the only time she opens up to me, her time of need. I am always there for her. It is one-sided. My mind and my heart guide my words. I can feel the effect they have on her. Brings her clarity, peace of mind. She has no clue the trauma my mind goes through. What I am really doing for her. Pulling out the confusion, the pain, the self doubts she has. I wonder if she realizes what I am doing. Do I care about her? Yes with all my heart. I tell her I care, that I will always be there. I have not broken those words. Its who I am. My thoughtless ways, I wanted her to know how important she is, so I gave her so much of my time. I shared my thoughts and secrets with her, so she knew she was trustworthy. I treated her like she meant something, so she knew I cared about her, and wanted to keep her in my life. I saw her at her most vulnerable moments, and made her feel safe. My thoughtless ways. I did all this with no thought, no hesitation. I let her get emotionally attached, I let her get close to me. I feel as if I made her question every moment we shared, reinterpret all of our conversations. Is that why it is one-sided? I don't know.|