Alien is convinced Zebras are the dominate species Dialogue contest entry 457 words.
|“Who are you, and what are you doing in my backyard at this ungodly hour?”
“My name is Zarptangol. I come from a different planet. Do not be afraid. I do not wish to do harm to terrestrial subspecies.”
“I am searching for Hippotigris, the dominate inhabitants of this planet...I think you refer to them as Zebras.”
“Zebras are only animals. Human beings are the rulers of Earth.”
“Arrogance, the Alpha Hippotigris warned us of that. It said that "assumption was the Foal of all striped irregularities".
“Look around you. Everything here was built, designed and thought up by humans. All Zebras did was standing around doing Sweet Fanny Adams. “
“Who do you think gave the Egyptians the technology to build the pyramids?”
“Oh come on you don’t expect me to believe it was "The Zebras".”
“A massive cover up, by the Pharaohs that executed the conspiracy theorist scribes, and I’ll bet you won’t read about it in those fake-news history books.”
"I’m sorry, but I am having trouble believing any of this.”
“Not your fault, it’s the inherent conditioning of your anti-zebra ancestors…the same ones that are so wrong about how the universe started, which had nothing to do with a big bang.”
“Okay, so how did it start?”
"Started with a kiss, according to Hot cholocate."
“With nothing; the nothing eventually died and we are all pretty much the product of what happens to dead nothing. Eons ago a race of intergalactic Zebras landed on your planet and… well it’s a long story, inscribed on their black and white markings. It takes an intelligent species to interpret but I guess Humans are just too stupid to understand.”
“Stupid huh? And I suppose you’re going to tell me you come from a highly advanced race of alien beings whose technology puts ours to shame?”
“We are intelligent enough not to compare our advancements with yours, and certainly not the Zebras. We’ve intercepted and watched your subversive movies about alien invasions. If you humans somehow developed the means to travel through space and came across another planet with a whole new species of life on it, surly curiosity of its culture would stay any intentions of war.”
“I’d give you that, though with our history of colonization anything is possible. Humans tend distrust and show aggression toward the unfamiliar…. look, there are a couple at our local Zoo. I’d be glad to take you there tomorrow if you would like to talk to them.”
“Talk? Who said anything about talk? I’m here to blast them with my ray gun. Hides of dominate species are worth a fortune on my planet.”
“Oh, I’m glad humans are only sub species, then.”
"Mmmm yes, quite."