My promise to a reluctant lover.
|Everyone dreams of that perfect love story or scenario. A white picket fence, small backyard and a dungeon in the basement. Deep blissful love. I am guilty just as much of the rest of this type of day dreaming. I want it all, beautiful house, play furniture in the basement but it's not that easy.
She is nervous about us changing if we were together full time. She questions if I would take away her independence. This made me reflect on things for a moment. I smiled and reminded her that she gave her independence to me years ago. We both did. When we are together, we both prefer to be touching or as close as we can to the other. Two halves that prefer to be whole with the other.
She is worried that we may change and I tell her change is inevitable. Nothing ever stays the same, we are all in flux. The critical point is changing slowly over time together. We are the perfect match, two balloons that laugh through life together.
Marriage or any type of day to day living takes active involvement. I want to wake up with you snuggled close on my chest and glad to greet the day. Little acts of appreciation to show my love and prove your worth. Actions that support my words. I never want you to doubt for a moment where you belong. Your place is with me, beside me and ever in love.
Home isn't a word or a place, it's a feeling and a belonging. It's knowing your safe, loved, appreciated and adored. It's a mutually shared sense of love so powerful you can feel the energy in the air. It's a power couple knowing they can not be beaten by life's inequities or tragedies. Life isn't fair but it's pretty enjoyable when you are living with your soulmate.
I used to joke that I would need lipstick to write on bathroom mirrors if we lived together. I want to be practical and get a free standing wipe board instead. I want to write you notes every day with wipe off markers.
I want little activities on the board that we look forward to that night when work is done. Walks, baths, or reading aloud to the other. I want a small section for the bigger things, anniversaries and vacations. Goals that we are working towards. Two colors signifying her words or my own.
It's work but it's also love. Love in doing for your partner. Delighting in their reactions when you bring them flowers and a card. It's a powerful emotion and you don't need much else if you keep it in the fore front. Actions reinforce words. Without them words are hollow and empty.
I want to plant a garden for you. I hate tomatoes, abhor squash and cucumbers. I want to watch it flourish, nurture it together and pick it together. Little things and projects are best done together. Together the work becomes lighter and then ceases to be work at all. I want to do laundry with you, we will get it done in half the time and laugh our way through it.
I want to learn your hobbies and activities. He would never wait for you when you biked together and criticized your riding style. You will delight as I learn knowing i choose this activity because I love you. You will give me tips and helpful hints to shorten my learning curve. I will develop a riding style that's similar to your own and I will do this for you so I can ride with you.
You will come fishing with me and I will playfully tease about your casting. I will stand directly in front of you and jokingly comment I am in the safest spot on the lake to avoid a hook. We will laugh and play and neither will care if the fish are biting that day or not. It is not a competition.
I want this life, I know it even though I have never had it. It takes work, active participation and love. Let the grass be greener on the other side. I will take our garden and our furniture in the basement. I never said it would be easy, I only promised it would be worth it...