by Nelly Maiwan
I fell in love for the wrong reasons and grew.
|I fell in love for the wrong reasons and grew. These are my drunken thoughts on the subway instead of drunkenly texting.|
'On a completely random day, on the 28th floor of a stunning building next to the Flat Iron, I was admiring the impressive view of the concrete jungle, feeling content and grateful. But it hit me. I miss him. I miss driving in the passenger seat on a sunny day with the music blasting. I was really happy, I was really in love. And I knew he was secretive, occasionally shady, grumpy and self-centered. But the few good qualities and the good times made me forget the bad flaws and sad moments. The times when I told myself we needed to break it off, but I didn't want to let go. I didn't want to be on my own in the city. I didn't want to meet other people because I had already had, and it wasn't the same.
We still ended things, we no longer have any contact. I was told he moved to who-the-fuck-cares, New York.
Listen, I don't know what's going to happen. I don't know why thing turn out the way they do.
All I know is, one year ago I was so in love with you. You were my favorite person and I knew I would not find anyone like you. You were a selfish, only child brat that judged anything you didn't know about but thought you were an open-minded person. You were stuck in the idea of who you think I was and never really wanted to learn the truth.
But here I am still thinking of you when we would be soon a part for a year.
I have no idea what's going to happen. And that's why my mind goes back to the past.'