Creative fun in
the palm of your hand.
Printed from https://www.Writing.Com/view/2166858
Rated: ASR · Monologue · Dark · #2166858
Join Khayakazi in her Journey to peace . Get into the mind of a broken soul.
Hello , welcome to my brain .

I am but a young girl struggling through life, hiding it all behind a smile and a happy person . This is what's happening behind that smile of mine, look into my eyes and see not the lies but the truth the smile . Look closely , see beyond what I show you , hear what I am shouting at you.

Before I continue , I want you to know that I have survived , do not weep for me . I just want you to look around you and see truly. Your loved ones are surfering right infront of you. Reach out to them ,please .

Okay ,I have stalled for long enough . here it goes:


Not the begining , but far from the end.

I am tired .
Tired of everything . You know, when one keeps everything inside , people tend to over look the fact that they too are human beings with emotions and everything . Taken for granted, they feel , overlooked, unnoticed . ALONE . So it goes:


I have absolutely no reason to keep going.
No reason to hold on . I am so tired , drained really .
No ones sees . No one knows .
I am tired of standing with everyone infront of their demons but alone when facing mine. I don't want to keep fighting , no , I just want to stop and let the pieces fall where they may. I don't think I can hold on anymore . Call me a coward but every time a new obstacle arises, all I can think about is just seazing to be . I am tired of the effortless smile I keep of giving everyone . It's there to keep the questions away . SEE, I'm irrasional aren't I ? I want them to know but I don't want to tell.

But I've been called dramatic for being human too many times to count . I am not just a woman , I am human and I am tied .
Two failed attempts under my belt have lead my to belive something bigger than me wants me alive. I hesitate now for fear of another fail, they might notice this time and keep me under observation , taking away all my chances .I can't look at anything innocently these days . Always looking to find ways to end this misery . I'll never be suicidal , but I am forever tired.

I have been fooling myself , for a while there I thought I could do this, live I mean . NO, I can't do this . I am tired . Exhausted . Can I lay my weapon down now? Take off my amour? it's torn up anyway . I no longer need it, I'm done.
Take your best shot.
Don't miss. Please.
© Copyright 2018 Nancy Simpson (nancysimpson at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
Writing.Com, its affiliates and syndicates have been granted non-exclusive rights to display this work.
Log in to Leave Feedback
Not a Member?
Signup right now, for free!
All accounts include:
*Bullet* FREE Email @Writing.Com!
*Bullet* FREE Portfolio Services!
Printed from https://www.Writing.Com/view/2166858